Wednesday, February 15, 2012

...and then Max Hammer lovingly caressed the satin Tenifer finish of the Glock...

I may have mentioned that I'd been reading a bit of adventure/thriller genre fiction lately...

One thing I liked about Black Site and One Rough Man was the lack of gear queer stuff that is so endemic on the seedier end of Action Porn. (Which are just Harlequin romances for men. Seriously, the "Gold Eagle" imprint that does Mack Bolan and all those is owned by Harlequin and the stories are done in the same formulaic way.)

I can read about a dude unfolding the wire stock on an AK or chamber-checking a SIG before kicking in a door. What I can't read is:
"Jock Studright wrapped his BLACKHAWK!-gloved fingers around the Nitron-finished slide of the SIG-Sauer P226, withdrawing it slightly against the tension of the recoil spring to see the glint of nickel through the ejection port, confirming that the 147-grain Ranger T messenger of death was ready to blast the terrorist jihadi scum to hell as soon as he smashed the sole of his Asolo boot against the door..."
Okay! Enough! Kick in the door and shoot somebody, already! Do you think you have to read me page three of the Brigade Quartermaster catalog to get me in the mood for a little face-shootin'?

44 comments:

TJIC said...

I enjoyed the Larry Correia book that I read (MHI), but I found that it skewed a bit too far in that direction for my taste.

I presume you've read it?

How is your own meter calibrated?

Anonymous said...

I have the weirdest snub .38 right now...

Anonymous said...

Why don't they ever write about the smell?

Running in countries without sewage systems, you tend to notice it.

Joseph said...

"Jock Studright wrapped his BLACKHAWK!-gloved fingers around the Nitron-finished slide of the SIG-Sauer P226, withdrawing it slightly against the tension of the recoil spring to see the glint of nickel through the ejection port, confirming that the 147-grain Ranger T messenger of death was ready to blast the terrorist jihadi scum to hell as soon as he smashed the sole of his Asolo boot against the door..."

I'll be in my bunk...

Anonymous said...

Wait, do you mean to tell me that Mack Bolan is still around? I remember reading those as a teenager. The last one I read was #60 IIRC.

He would have to be getting a little long in the tooth by now.

Axeman

Pakkinpoppa said...

I recall reading Mack Bolan in High School, and, well...I wanted a Beretta 93 for sooooooo long...with a silencer too!

Ah, memories....

If he was still around, you'd be reading from Brigade Quartermaster's Tactical Walker, Metamucil, and Viagra pages.

Mike in KY said...

In the navy (corpsman stationed with marines) back in the early 80s I was a Mack Bolan reading fool. I must've had several .50 ammo boxes full of them. Even followed him and his ill-fated sidekick April Rose off into Stony Man land.

For some reason when I rotated back to a navy hospital, I abruptly quit reading them. I'm not even sure what happened to them. Probably left them at the Tank Battalion dispensary for the newer guys.

I can still recall some of Pendleton's vivid slow-motion descriptions of certain mafia guys getting long range head shots from Bolan and a (also well described) Weatherby.

Bram said...

When I was a deployed Marine I had some tactical gear. I wore off-brand leather motorcycle gloves, some green polypropylene t-shirts I bought somewhere, cheap polarized sunglasses, a sling I made out of parachute cord, some cheap binoculars my Dad gave me, a canvass map bag from a surplus store, and my old Boy-Scout compass. After the internet was invented, I did buy a better sling.

When I write my auto-biography I'll have to spice it up.

ExurbanKevin said...

Agree 100%. Heck, I find that even Stephen Hunter swerves down the path of putting too much "tech" in the techno-thriller, to the detriment of the "thriller" part.

Writing details about equipment is easy. Writing terse, suspenseful novels with real, believable characters?

Hard.

The last thriller/action book I read that I enjoyed as a story was David Bellavia's "House To House". I've got Black Site on hold at the library, though, specifically because of Tam's recommendation.

Anonymous said...

Do Blackhawk, SIG, etc pay publishers to be mentioned in these books? If they don't, they should, because it reads like paid advertising.

Tango Juliet said...

I felt bad when Jock's sidekick, Dirk Boinkgood, was cut down in a bloody ambush in episode 18, "The Temple of Excessive Doom." He, of course, was using Remington 124 grain JHP +P+ 9mm's out of an Ionbond coated custom Glock 18 while wearing super sporty Oakley's and 5.11 tactical pants (in the most tactical of all colors, black.)

Anonymous said...

Was it a Wolf aftermarket or factory recoil spring? What weight?

Don't leave me hanging!

Gerry

rickn8or said...

Anonymous 9:33 and Tango Juliet: Almost NASCAR-like, isn't it?

cj said...

TJIC:

Have to agree on MHI, but going through some subsequent books (near the end of 'Hard Magic' at the moment), I feel that he strikes a much better balance...still enough to make the gun geek say 'a-ha', but not so much that someone's whose extensive experience consists of 24+ hour sessions of Call of Duty needs to clean up afterwards.

Tam said...

TJIC,

MHI was the heaviest on the gun geekery, but that probably owes a lot to its genesis from a thread on a gun forum.

I think cj above is correct in his assessment.

Keith said...

I actually asked Correia about this and he did admit that early on he could get carried away and that his editors had to reign him in. His more recent books are much better in this regard.

Ed Rasimus said...

Just when I felt the muse tingling at my typing fingers you deflated my concept of an ultra-detailed tactical aviation uber-detailed micro-switchologied terrorist counter-thriller. "When it's time to shoot, shoot! Don't talk, shoot!" Tuco...

Anonymous said...

All that being said, I prefer a tedious if correct description of the gear (so long as I can skip through it) to "he whipped out his fully automatic .50 BMG Desert Super Eagle pistol and put a 3 shot burst in the head of evil bad guy 150ft away while swinging one handed from the para cord...."

A paragraph like the above and I reach over to my book shelf for something that doesn't lower my IQ:

"Oooh look! a dissertation on effect of early Eurasian Horse Semi-Nomads on later civilizations in China, and Europe. Or should I re-read that one about England and North Western Europe from 300 to 900 AD?"


(Both are fabulously good reads, by the by, but then I like books that have footnotes that sometime both occupy the majority of the page...or run on to a second page.)

SoupOrMan said...

If all else fails, just take all the firearms and tactical gear names out and replace them with hockey equipment names. Much funnier.

"Jock Studright wrapped his Warrior Franchise-gloved fingers around the shaft of the Easton Stealth RS Grip Composite Stick, withdrawing it slightly from the ice to see the dull finish of the Renfrew Hockey Tape slathered in Mr. Zog's Sex Wax, confirming that the carbon-fiber doomslinger was ready to blast the terrorist Detroiti scum's goalie to hell as soon as he smashed the runner of his Graf Ultra G75 skate against the cold slab of frozen hell they called Joe Louis Arena..."

wv: ustinate. To act in the manner of actor Peter Ustinov in situations where others would frown upon acting in the manner of actor Peter Ustinov.

Anonymous said...

Makes as much sense as "Lovingly she caressed the Energizer C-cell batteries before loading them into ..."

And now you are wondering if it is a Golden Eagle or a Harliquin.

Anonymous said...

they had the 1st mack bolan world convention many, many, years ago in san franchitsco...
i attended and got to talk to the people responsible for the story R&D...
after asking them why certain gross errors and juvenile stupidity was retained from issue to issue, i was escorted from the convention because the fan boys were becoming agitated by my 'disruptive' presence
...
truth is not welcome in the 'Mack Bolan' world...

staghounds said...

This sort of thing stopped me finishing "American Psycho", so it's not just hacks.

Anonymous said...

i think the thing that really got the attendees po'd was when i questioned the use of a marlin lever action in .444 marlin with some gawdawful weird scope as a sniper rifle from book to book...
i mean a MARLIN?, why not something quality like a Winchester '71 with a Lyman peep sight... ?

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse is when it's written in the first person, and the author is shilling products he actually sells in real life. One recently published book comes to mind, in particular - good story, almost well told, but absolutely slathered in (a) commercials and (b) somewhat troubling self-fantasy by the author.

Tam said...

Anon 1:08,

"One recently published book comes to mind, in particular - good story, almost well told, but absolutely slathered in (a) commercials and (b) somewhat troubling self-fantasy by the author."

Well...? Don't leave us in suspense!

Kristopher said...

I'm waiting for the shower scene, when he gets in the shower with his M4, and and gets it all warm and lathered up.

"Just cleaning my gun here ..."

Loki1776 said...

I call it Vera.

Dwight Brown said...

Thanks, Tam. Now I have to go by the big Half-Price Books tonight and see if they still have that copy of "The Executioner's War Book".

DaveFla said...

Dagnabbit, Loki1776 beat me to it! Does he win today's internets, or was it too obvious?

Anonymous said...

"Jock Studright wrapped his BLACKHAWK!-gloved fingers around the Nitron-finished slide of the SIG-Sauer P226, withdrawing it slightly against the tension of the recoil spring to see the glint of nickel through the ejection port, confirming that the 147-grain Ranger T messenger of death was ready to blast the terrorist jihadi scum to hell as soon as he smashed the sole of his Asolo boot against the door..."

Uh, I can't stand up right now.
It would be embarrassing...

Drang said...

Dead Six still has a bit of gear queerness--just describe Dude's heavily customized Model 29 once, m'kay? After that call it his revolver, or maybe even just "gun"-- which I chalk up to it being Correia's first collaboration, and Kupari's first novel.

Marja said...

Often can be a case of wanting to show off the research. That is also why you sometimes may get something like half a page long description of the hunting methods of a lion pride when all the story needs is a description of the hero running for his car and barely reaching it.

Sometimes may be a case of trying to lure those readers who would like to sound as if they know something but are too lazy to learn by doing research or actually doing.

Duke said...

Thanks for the links, BTW can we mention Queer Gear here.

Ken said...

Jock Studright? See, a real pro would use Slab Hardcheese, or Gristle McThornbody, or Big McLargehuge.

Anonymous said...

Tam; you know altogether too much about Harlequin romances (looks at her sideways). -- Lyle

Robin said...

I'm writing this comment while wearing my khaki EOTEC long sleeve Operator Grade polo shirt with zipper pocket on the upper left sleeve ...

(really, was on sale for $15 )

Lewis said...

Yeah, I was going to throw in what Marja said. Kind of a "No, lissen up guys, I really have an idea what I'm talking about here!" Not like safeties on revolvers, or automatic revolvers (yes, yes, Webley-Fosberry, we know), or silencers on revolvers, or the thing on the stock that goes up.

Maybe a better way to convey that information would be when Jock McStudly meets his old buddy Peregrine Exposition. "Yeah, I switched to a Ed Brown a few years back because the bobtail conversion makes it hide just a smidge better, otherwise it's the way you remember it: Heinie Straight 8 sights, trigger set at five pounds with a bit of take-up, and I'm still running Terrace eXploder rounds."

Or put all that stuff in an appendix at the end.

wv: ration, I've had my ration of gun pron for the day.

DirtCrashr said...

You sure know how to hook 'em Tam!

Matthew said...

Dirt,

Could you describe said hook's specs please?

I've been so lonely...

Anonymous said...

DaveFLa:

Is that a Motard with a chin scoop and plastic luggage?

BSR

Old NFO said...

Meh... I sometimes think the authors just keep the catalogs handy when they run out of things to write... :-)

Yrro said...

I think it's ok in two situations.

a) It's part of the characterization. We've had magic swords for years. Dirty Harry wouldn't be Dirty Harry without his Model 29 .44 Magnum.

b) Where it is somewhat more visually descriptive. I may at least somewhat care if a guy is carrying an AR15, an FAL, or an AK-47. I'm moderately interested in whether it uses a scope or iron sights, or if it has a flashlight. These things add to the portrait of the scene more than "assault rifle" - are they a teched up tactical badass or a dirt and cast offs freedom fighter?

But, even in that case... I don't care who made the AR15, I don't care if it's a Leupold scope or a Zeiss, and I *especially* don't care how much money you sent to Magpul for accessories. Give me a visual - don't give me your own special AR15 build.

Critter said...

mall ninja pr0n...

Warthog said...

"Jock Studright wrapped his BLACKHAWK!-gloved fingers around the Nitron-finished slide of the SIG-Sauer P226, withdrawing it slightly against the tension of the recoil spring to see the glint of nickel through the ejection port, confirming that the 147-grain Ranger T messenger of death was ready to blast the terrorist jihadi scum to hell as soon as he smashed the sole of his Asolo boot against the door..."

You write that pretty well Tam, is your novel out soon?