Sunday, May 27, 2012

I have reached the end of the internet.

Once upon a time, humans developed speech.

From speech came writing.This allowed us to develop our ever-more-fantastic communication technologies, the pinnacle of which is the internet.

I do not think that it would be out of line to suggest, therefore, that the whole mighty sweep of human history was directed for the sole purpose of allowing me to read this headline this morning.

I have envied few people on the planet as much as I do the anonymous msn journalist who got to craft that headline.

38 comments:

Gerry N. said...

Darn, Miss Tamara. That was just mean. I could have gone the rest of my life a happy man if I'd never seen that. Now I gotta go rinse my eyes with bleach. Even then I'll never be able to unsee that horror.

CGHill said...

Or as little, I suspect, as the subject of that headline.

Robin said...

Well, I'm swearing off peanuts.

Buzz said...

Next, he applies for asylum in the US and lobbies for the right to marry his monkey.

greg said...

And that is a great example of the thriving Chinese economy. That guy wants to keep his job in The People's Republic SOOOOO bad, he's willing to lick a monkey's butt.

Makes welfare look pretty good.

Charlie Foxtrot said...

Thanks.

Just as the wifey call "Breakfast!"

BGMiller said...

What I want to know is what sort of thought process does it take to connect the dots between "hey, that monkey looks a bit backed up" and "I bet licking it's butt will make everything better."

Also, more than an hour? Really?

BGM

Larry said...

That's the last time I'll complain about my job...
(and if ever a post deserved the "life in the monkey house" tag, that one did.)

Anonymous said...

... once again, another furriner doin the job that American just *won't* do.

Kristopher said...

Corn?

Kristopher said...

That photo will probably survive our extinction as a species.

The downside of successful time-binding civilization.

Lynx217 said...

Omc that is just disgusting. Id never even be able to take that pic. And I love my cats to death but THAT I will NEVER do. There are other ways to unconstipate an animal - pumpkin pie filling works amazingly well from every vet show I've seen. And what if there's something else is going on?

Anonymous said...

Hoax.

Mike James

The Freeholder said...

It's how mama-critters of a number of species encourage their young to do their business.

That said, I think I could have figured out a way to accomplish the goal without that. Ick.

Exurbankevin said...

As good as that is, (and the headline is good. The accompanying photo? Not so much...), my inner (and outer) geek think that "Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo" beats it.

Crazy Ivan said...

You may have reached the end of the internets, but I think we have, instead, reached the end of what passes for civilization.

What the hell has happened to this planet, and where the $%@# do I go from here?

Anonymous said...

I think that zoo is at the other end of the Internet.

Robert Fowler said...

I gave a cat a enema once. And I thought that was bad.

Rick C said...

I saw that a couple days ago somewhere else, but it's just crazy. You can get the same effect with a damp wash cloth.

AuricTech said...

I saw that a couple days ago somewhere else, but it's just crazy. You can get the same effect with a damp wash cloth.

Not quite true, as using a damp washcloth doesn't ensure Internet fame.

Mr. Fixit said...

Is it such a far leap from "butt licking humans" to "face eating monkeys"?

Alan J. said...

See, for all you non-preppers out there, this is what happens when you can't find a source of water and a Q-Tip!

AuricTech said...

Is it such a far leap from "butt licking humans" to "face eating monkeys"?

From there, it's just one more step to "face-eating humans."

Paul, Dammit! said...

Damn, I just ate a burrito, too. Well, now there's no temptation for dessert, anyhow.

Anonymous said...

And so today is apparently the day I start that diet I didn't know I was planning. The end is nigh.
for further note:
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/26/cop-shoots-kills-naked-attacker-in-miami/?test=latestnews

Jennifer said...

Damn blogger. That last comment was me. I am not anonymous. I am Jennifer

Secesh said...

That man has a future in Washington! There's no telling what ends he'll go to.

Ed said...

Damn.

I was planning on having a tossed salad for dinner.

I lost my appetite.

mc said...

You really must check all of your snacks:

http://www.just-humor.com/monkey_nuts.htm

God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

I feel a minty-fresh Scope mouthwash commercial in the makin'...

Dann in Ohio

GBBL said...

Like the old commercial says: Sometimes you feel like a nut.

Unknown said...

Think of this the next time you read a job description that includes, "And other duties as assigned."

Kristopher said...

Mike James:

I sincerely hope the photo ( or at least the caption ) was a hoax.

Brigid said...

That is way better than Saturdays news headline "Jenna Jameson arrested for DUI after hitting pole".

Though when it launched into her "blowing the breathalizer" hilarity ensued in the room.

Ross said...

I'm trying to figure out the thought process that made MSNBC think that people actually wanted to know that...

Buzz said...

It's MSNBC, a good portion of the viewership wanted details for encouraging hints during the next pickle park encounter.

TCinVA said...

This is why I read Tam's blog. I can guarantee she will introduce me to web phenomena I would never have encountered otherwise.

markm said...

"You can get the same effect with a damp wash cloth." Only if you **have** a washcloth. If you can't afford one until next year's capital expenditures budget is released, you make do with what you have.

Or perhaps the guy really, really wanted to prove he has what it takes to move up to a governmental position.