So I woke up this morning and soon realized that local morning news was not going to provide me with blogfodder: as exciting as the weather and the various peripheral events leading up to the Indianapolis 500 are to the local news crew, they just weren't getting my creative juices flowing, so I flipped to CNN.
I gave a little shriek, but then realized it was just Chuck Schumer. He was giving his little speech pimping his Bill of Attainder against Fancisco d'Anc... er, Eduardo Severin. Then they went to a live interviewette with the legislation's co-parent, Senator Bob Casey from Pennsylvania...
Oh. My. God. This was the first time I'd seen him speak, live and quasi-extemporaneously. Will someone explain to me how that stammering cretin convinced 50.1% of the adult voting populace of the Keystone State that he'd make a fine United States Senator*? I wouldn't vote for that idiot to call in the office pizza order for fear he'd &*%$ it up somehow.
In self-defense I jogged the channel clicker again, winding up on HLN, and found myself enveloped in a fluffy pink giggling cocoon as the teleprompter reader that hosts their morning show opened her dazzlingly-capped cakehole and sucked the intelligence from the room with a soft whooshing noise. Puppies. Kittens. Tee-hee. Justin Beiber!
*Oh, wait, the choice was him or Rick Santorum. Waiter, I'll take the hemlock, please. Matter of fact, make it a double.