Saturday, October 05, 2013

Softly now...

How many here have ever used a golf tournament on the TV as free broadcast Sominex? Do they practice that perfectly soporific muted semi-monotone? Learn it at a school or something?

Seriously, the affected hushed voice of the golf announcers makes no sense whenever I let myself think about it. They all talk as though they are standing on the green behind the guy with the putter and don't want to disturb him, despite the fact that they're in a booth and can no more break the golfer's concentration than could the viewer at home.

I want to beat a golf announcer with a sock full of nickels just to see if he'd go "Ow. She... ow... appears to be beating me... yes, to my knees. I... believe this is the first time... ow... yes, it is the first time a golf announcer has been beaten unconscious on the air."

20 comments:

Buzz said...

Not unlike retailers of phone accessories thinking iPhones are the only phones in existence, golf announcers think Tiger is the only guy on the course. (I have to suffer through TV golf at my brother's house.)

Scott J said...

Golf = willful misuse of a perfectly good rifle range.

And good morning to you Miss Tam.

blindshooter said...

What Scott J said, I can't look at a golf course without seeing a nice 600yd plus rifle range with a nice place to BBQ after the match is complete.
I have called highpower matches with good turnouts, even with the PA system you will be croaking like a frog from all the near screaming you have to do all day.

Erin Palette said...

You won't want miss this video of Brian Blessed doing snooker commentary.

Firehand said...

Worse: had a 'teacher' in college who 'taught' by reading from the book in a monotone voice, with even less excitement at the high points.

Tasso said...

Growing up in Dallas, my dad worked for a major sponsor of the Byron Nelson, so he always got free saturday passes.

It was 30 years ago, but back then the announcer's mic was attached to a shoebox sized FM-transmitter that he lugged around with him. And yes, he was speaking in hushed sotto voce right from the edge of the green. During putting, he's the only one talking.

I don't know if they still do it that way, but that's where the golf announcer voice comes from -- they used to broadcast each stroke live from the grassy knoll.

Weer'd Beard said...

They learn it from the same school NPR broadcasters do.

How people DRIVE with that station on, and keep their eyes open is beyond me!

Drang said...

I'll provide the nickels...

Montierh said...

Where'd when they cover news and. Start to see red due to their idea of fair and balanced.

"Today on Fresh Air were going to have an in depth discussion on gun rights with Paul Helmke..."

Montieth said...

Wheer'd when they cover newsroom politics and I start to see red due to their idea of fair and balanced, I have little trouble staying awake. Then I scream at the radio for 5 minutes and then change the channel.

"Today on Fresh Air were going to have an in depth discussion on gun rights with Paul Helmke..."



There, that's more clear and not mangled by auto correct.

Bob said...

So it would be sort of like the murder scene from Silence of the Lambs when Lecter beat his two guards to death while Bach's Goldberg Variations plays in the background?

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Dad was an avid golfer for more than 60 years, but I think in his later years this is precisely what he used TV golf for...

Stretch said...

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2013/09/22#.UlBshxCbBpk

global village idiot said...

Baseball voice is similarly idiosyncratic and unique to the game - makes you wonder if baseball announcers talk that way at home.

gvi

WV eatmeA - swear to Ganesha.

Jim said...

I thnk the last word on golf, teeveed and otherwise, was Dan Jenkins' "Dead Solid Perfect." (ISBN-10: 0385498853). He's to sports what P.J. O'Rourke is to politics.

Seerak said...

In my family, golf was the 1970's version of a screen saver. Not much to watch, but it looked nice in the living room, like a fire I guess. Especially during the grey of winter.

global village idiot said...

Metric football games with the sound off (guaranteed either Telemundo or Univision are playing one at any given time) is the best hangover television there is.

gvi

CGHill said...

Bill Cosby on golf, and on the telecasting of golf:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzjYGhcaz5A

The first three minutes, after which he drifts into football.

KM said...

@Tasso I don't know if they still do it that way

Yes, the on course guys still do it like that but they have helpers to schlep the heavy stuff. The guys in the 'towers' greenside are also talking close to those who are putting.

I'm the only golfer that visits here?

jakeblade said...

The announcers don't want to wake up the audience.