Sunday, December 29, 2013

Derp sells well, especially if it has velcro on it.

So somebody comes up with some inventive new specialized way to carry a gun in situation X. It doesn't matter what the situation is, somebody's come up with some special gear solution for it.

Sometimes it makes sense, such as pistol harnesses designed to be strapped to the outside of cold weather gear in bear country. Sometimes it's of dubious utility, like "car holsters". Sometimes it's downright dangerous, like that holster that straps around your upper arm so that you can carry a pocket pistol upside down, pointed at your brachial artery for no reason that is ever adequately explained.

Regardless of the type of strange carry, if you criticize it on the internet you will inevitably encounter some dude who comes along and explains to you that he has spent dozens of hours running drills and scenarios with video and stopwatches and bunches of different shooters that totally justify his use of this system.

Heck, I've apparently spent fewer hours at the range in all of 2013 than some of these guys have perfecting their technique of drawing left-handed against left-handed carjackers approaching from the passenger side rear, and that's even if my range time total includes the hours I spent sleeping on the Crimson Trace bus at the Midnight 3 Gun match because I went out to walk the stages on media night and couldn't find a ride back to the hotel.

(Apparently I should have had a special "Sleeping On The Bus" holster to do that, so I was doing it wrong anyway.)
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29 comments:

Pappy said...

If you followed all the crap on the Internet, you would spend more time swapping holsters than you would getting things done.

pax said...

Hey, as long as we're talking about bad ideas related to having a gun in your car, check this one out:

http://www.deepconceal.com/Concealed-Shoulder-Holsters-firearms-2-75-9-s/1834.htm

I'm sure someone will be along shortly to tell us how tactical it is.

Tam said...

Oh. My. God.

True story: When the P32 first hit the market, a coworker at the gun store back in Georgia was ecstatic because, and I quote, "I can finally clip a pistol to the sun visor in my car!"

This dude had apparently been wandering through life with a burning desire to do just that when George Kellgren finally made him a happy man.

Critter said...

remember those bra holsters? i showed an advertisement for one of those things to The Woman and she exclaimed, "that's ridiculous! i'd shoot my boob off!".

BGMiller said...

Okay, pardon my non-tacticalness in asking this but....

So I've got my piece clipped to the visor. The sun is in my eyes so I flip the visor down. So far so good, I'd driving along with a good view of my flat coyote goblin slayer wallowing in feelings of Being Ready For It.

Then I turn right.

Dang, sun is blasting in my window at a really annoying angle.
I'll just flip my visor to the side....

Or do Real Operators not use their sun visors for blocking the sun?


BGM

Tam said...

Real operators wear Oakleys to protect the sun from their eyes.

Sigman said...

I see no useful purpose to the bicep or sun visor holster. I guess in my 38 years of near daily pistol carry I've been doing it wrong the whole time or I've been holding it wrong, or something.

pax said...

Critter,

Don't knock the Flashbang bra holster. It actually works, covers the trigger completely and holds the gun as securely as any well-designed belt holster, and allows fast access. After working with them on the range and wearing one to try out for several weeks, I can recommend them for women who are not willing to carry in other ways. I was shocked how well it worked – honestly did not expect it to.

Steve Skubinna said...

The sun visor holster's a mandatory item for those who need to be tactical. But it only covers part of your vulnerability. I have a similar holster on the underside of my hood, and another in the trunk, because you never know when TSHTF.

And then there's the pantry holster, the potty holster, the shower holster, and the cookie jar holster.

No success so far on my idea of a holster for the inside of the washing machine door. I hope soon, because laundry's starting to pile up.

pax said...

(Sigh…) And, of course, I just proved Tam's point. But let me point out that I actually do know what I'm talking about. ;)

Scott J said...

Admission of guilt here. Having done quite a bit of holsterless and sausage sack IWB carry in my younger (and thinner) years I did take a longer look at Thunderwear than I should have before deciding it was a bad idea.

Joel said...

To be honest I've never figured out why anyone would want an ankle holster, but they seem to remain popular. So I just figure meh, whatever gets you to carry the gun.

Full disclosure, I went through a fairly expensive shoulder holster phase in my twenties.

Joel said...

Real operators wear Oakleys to protect the sun from their eyes.

I'm stealing that line for if my upcoming eye surgery lets me walk around outside without glasses for the first time since I was five. I'm so totally blowing the budget on some fancy wraparounds...

Robin said...

Pax, you are not going to convince me.

Windy Wilson said...

Don't knock the shower holster. No less an authority than Lazarus Long carries a blaster in the shower.*


*Actually I think this is as bad as citing "Bad Day at Black Rock" for tips and techniques on how a smaller, weaker, one-armed man can prevail over a numerically superior force of bigger, two-armed men, but it tickled my ha ha bone as much as "Stuck in the Smokehole of our Tipi".

Joe in PNG said...

I'm rather amused at the comments that suggest the various sausage sacks, fridge magnets, and dashboard moulded plastic bits are somehow super secure if one were to have an accident.

Really? I'm guessing they tested g forces on these $20 wonders at multiple angles after their 3 hours of training in 'drawing to 4 o'clock while changing the radio to Rush in the car while wearing fall clothing'.

Anonymous said...

Now that you mention it, given the frequency if the topic's appearance in gun fora, I'm surprised nobody's come out with the Poopin' Holster.

Marc Pisco said...

@Anonymous 3:29,

I train with the toilet tank lid. Fetch 'em a swat with that puppy and I won't even need the Lorcin sewn into my Batman Underoos. But it's still there, just in case the perp gets to the bathroom first.

Anonymous said...

My holster is super, ultra specialized. It holds a full sized pistol, absolutely hands free, on my hip so the gun is always with me! Now is that operatin' or what? It is so highly specialized and unique that it cost me almost a whole 20 dollars, and it is so exclusive in application that Glock only made a smattering of millions of them. -- Lyle

Jim said...

Dude on a Segway was poorly equipped if he was only using a mere holster.

I mean, hasn't he ever heard of ring & pintle mounts?

Makes me worry for our yutes.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Critter said...

Actually, I wasn't knocking the bra holster, The Woman was. And, as they're her boobs in question, I deferred to her judgement. :)

Critter said...

Come to think of it, it isn't shooty but I do keep a Smatchet hanging next to the loo. The WC is kinda small and I figure if the perp gets in while I'm in deep meditation it's going to be hand to hand anyway.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

pax,

S'ok. Holster shopping for men is their only taste of what clothes shopping is like for women. They have all the fun and mystery taken out of actual clothes shopping by having actual measurements for their shirts and slacks that let them know if an item will fit. So this is their taste of standing in the fitting room, going "Well, maybe this outfit, you know, just in case job interview, or this one, in case I get a date to the symphony... Oh, shoot, it doesn't quite fit, well, let's try this one..."

Micki Mahoney said...

@Jim, I think there's a potential customer for that idea already. Google images, "Chinese segway army".

Seriously, build it; they will come...

markm said...

Tam, your error was getting drawn into the question of drawing a gun when a carjacker has a gun pointed at your head at all. You keep your hands in sight and get out, period. Anything else is bucking for a Darwin award. Your chance will come when the carjacker gets _into_ your car (and by that time you'll know the thug isn't carrying a badge), but a car holster is just giving them a gun.

Aside from that, feel free to laugh at all the mall ninjas who worry about carjacking but not the much greater risk of handling your gun every time you get into or out of the car. That's assuning they do not live in that single New Jersey county that had 450 carjackings next year - but if they do, who did they blow to get a CCL? I don't even have to look it up to know that that must be one of the most gun-unfriendly jurisdictions in a state that's in competition with Colorado, Massachusetts, and New York for "the worst gun laws that haven't yet been slapped down by the Supreme Court".

Derfel Cadarn said...

Tam most of the folks with all the answers have spent an overly large portion of their lives riding and sleeping in the short bus. May all your buses be long ones. Happy New Year !

Anonymous said...

Wow! Did not realize I was reading a blog written by an expert on all things guns.

Tam said...

Wow! Didn't realize anyone said it was!

Tam said...

(So... out of curiosity, what triggered your attack of gluteal angina? Wait, let me guess: You have an "ArmsBand" holster, right?)