Friday, December 20, 2013

Isn't that always the answer?

There was just a piece on the Today show about terrorist recruitment in middle America.

I ran in to watch it because I was hoping for some pointers on what to do the next time some guy in a keffiyeh sidled up next to me at Twenty Tap and asked "Hey, baby, wanna strike a blow against the Great Satan?"

It was actually about Somali kids in Minneapolis running off and getting themselves killed playing Call of Duty: Qu'ran Commando after getting their heads packed full of nonsense by some guy promising them a machine gun and that they'll totally get to pick any MOS they want.

The reporter announced "This is Little Somalia in Minneapolis, a quiet midwestern neighborhood..." while standing in the middle of a bunch of the kind of concrete high-rise Section 8 buildings that tell sensible people that any car left unattended will be up on blocks and short a stereo faster than you can say "Allahu akhbar!"

He talked with the uncle of some kid who'd gotten good grades in high school and seemed a pretty normal 'Murrican yoot, only to run off and get himself smoked playing jihadi in Mogadishu, and then the reporter came back to the studio for the wrapup. His conclusion?

To paraphrase: "These people want to keep their kids out of al Qaeda and al Shabab, but those organizations have millions, and they have nothing. They need federal tax money!"

Jesus, is that the only thing that comes out when you yank these people's strings anymore? They're like little walking PBS telethons: They can't open their little sucks without asking me to reach for my checkbook.

24 comments:

og said...

I have come to the conclusion that "We must DO SOMETHING(tm)" is the holy grail of liberalism. It is certainly their battle cry.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

Wouldn't it be cheaper to subsidize their plane fare? It seems to me that if they get blowed up while playing Johnny Jihad, they're no longer my problem.

Robert Langham said...

Oh you don't have to reach for your checkbook....they will happily draft your account.

Tango Juliet said...

Yeah, I'm sure the opener, "hey baby" would work well on you. The ensuing cat and mouse game would ultimately end in an epic deluge of snark I'm thinkin'. :)

Yrro said...

It's kind of funny to see the original red scare anti-wrong-kind-of-immigrant impulses turned to a new purpose.

"These somali kids are totally dangerous and scary like your grandparents always told you... but it's not their fault! Give us money."

Joseph said...

Last time I checked, PBS didn't have a law enforcement arm dedicated to kicking in doors of those who didn't "donate".

Anonymous said...

Or stay here in Mpls and drive a cab. You got it exactly right about the high rise complex, though. It's called Cedar-Riverside, and it's full of students (being right next to the U campus) and immigrants.

Matt
St Paul

og said...

Joe: you never heard of the IRS?

Keith said...

If PBS get tax funds, and I believe they do, then yes in a round about way they to have a team who will kick down your door and take your money if they feel they have to.

Don said...

I don't know why the image of the Al Qaeda recruiter telling the kid the same lies the Navy recruiter told him the day before split my giggle-rails so neatly*, but I LOLed. Thanks for that one.





*Yes, that's an Abe Lincoln joke. It's nearing the end of the month here in Illinois, and what with the holidays coming on, I'd like to get my quota filled early.

Armed Texan said...

Yeah, these "kids" want to bite the hand that fed them because we won't give mommy another EBT card or give them free XBOnes. It has nothing to do with the way they were raised.

armedlaughing said...

"It's for the children!"

gfa

Robin said...

What Sean said.

rickn8or said...

Yeah, I'm sure the opener, "hey baby" would work well on you. The ensuing cat and mouse game would ultimately end in an epic deluge of snark I'm thinkin'. :)

I'd pay money to see that. Or for an authorized copy of the .flv. Amusing and instructional. How often does that happen?

cryptical said...

Cedar-Riverside is a '70s boondoggle pushed by the progressives here in Minneapolis. It was the first installment of what was to be a huge mixed-income high density housing project complete with the Soviet-style concrete buildings. Oddly enough they quickly found out that anyone with two cents to rub together doesn't really want to live right next to the poor, at least anyone with any sense.

Also known around here as the Crack Stacks or Ghetto in the Sky.

aczarnowski said...

Following on cryptical those buildings continue to suck in tax dollars. The light rail station there is also, generally, pretty "interesting" place to pass through.

The entire area is >this< far from a progressive singularity of suck.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I, too, think Sean has the right of it.

Anonymous said...

Somali yoots are going to their homeland and not returning. What's the problem again?

Al_in_Ottawa

Joe in PNG said...

And what wonderful things those tax dollars would be spent on, too! More public art! More pasty white suburban social workers to tell them that the culture of their home country is superior! Obamaphones!

It makes me so happy I want to vomit!!

Goober said...

If you logically think about what this reporter is saying, he’s essentially saying that we should be paying the kids to not become terrorists, or else the terrorists will pay them to BECOME terrorists.

What next? We go to the barrio and start paying young Latinos to not become gangsters? Or fly out to Hayden, ID and pay the skinheads to not be so skin-heady?

What the f#$%?

How do these people even function with mental processes that are obviously so slow? This guy must have spent years pissing on the closed toilet seat before he figured out that you have to open it, and probably a solid afternoon figuring out how to do so.

Anonymous said...

Call of Duty: Qu'ran Commando
Okay, if they really did use that to recruit, they could really expand their recruitment drive. 80% of the teenagers in the midwest would join to play.

Kerry

fast richard said...

My first introduction to college protesting was a rally against the building of that project in the Spring of 1972. I wandered away fairly quickly as it reminded me of a high school sports "pep fest" only less entertaining.

That night or the next day, president Nixon changed the subject by mining Haiphong Harbor. Things got interesting on campus for the next few days.

Steve Skubinna said...

It's always about money with the left. The teachers' unions say "Give us more money or your kids will grow up stupid!" Bureaucrats say "Give us more money or the bridges all collapse!" The UAW says "Give us more money or you'll have to drive a foreign car!"

In this case, not enough tax money is the reason these yoots turn to jihad. Does that explain all the suicide bombers in Appalachia? Maybe I'm a cynic, but I suspect that other factors may be at work here.

Perhaps we could canvass some of these radical Islamist imams, see what they have to say? Nah, NPR has already clued us in - it'd be "Give us more money or we blow you up!"

Atom Smasher said...

Yeah, it's a biggish deal here. I can't help but wonder how much of the draw is "Yes, yes, jihad - does it ever drop below -5 degrees for any length of time where you want me to go?"

Just the other day I passed a fully black-bagged chick wielding a snow shovel committing jihad on the end of her driveway.