Narrator: "Hips can be replaced. Knees can be replaced. Shoulders can be replaced. The only thing that can't be replaced..."
Me: "...Is your mom. But we at VeryBigHospital are trying, with our Cyborg Mom project. Despite some initial setbacks..." *holds arms out like Frankenstein's monster* "...'Eat your galoshes!'"
RX: "'Wear your broccoli, it looks like rain! Look both ways before talking to strangers! And never cross the street!'"
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Overheard in Roomie's Bedroom...
The TeeWee is once again providing the morning news. A commercial for a local hospital has come on...
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12 comments:
That 'commercial' is so damn scary it could be straight from the Obamacare office in Washington, D.C.
Just what the screaming HELL have you two been drinking lately, anyway?
"SEDAGIVE????"
Here's a razor blade. Have fun playing on the freeway!
Put on clean underwear in case your in an accident!
Gerry
Tam, you're going to have to start boxing books to clear shelf space for all your Internet trophies.
I LOLed at the breakfast table.
DRINK YOUR FROG.
DON'T BRING THAT MILK IN THE HOUSE.
ALWAYS BE A GOOD GUN, DON'T EVER PLAY WITH BOYS.
DON'T TAKE YOUR TOWN TO GUNS.
(The Johnny Cash Special Edition costs extra, but at least she's not weepy like the Waylon Jennings Special Edition.)
Be sure to drink your gasoline before smoking!
And don't ever, ever eat other side of the road chicken.
Don't slam the cake, I'm baking a door!
Pray for lobsters
Bath salts are dangerous. Read the label. And don't take ambien with them. You may go walking down the street naked and not remember what else happened.
Endeavor to Perservere.
Makes me glad I had a real Mom, and a good'un. She really was like that perfect woman in the Book of Proverbs: made her own clothes, canned stuff, managed the family money, helped me learn how to trim a rubber model, advised me to put the car in neutral at stoplights, warned me about Scientologists before anybody had heard of them, et multiple cetera. Was also a babe (I saw her high-school yearbook picture.)
Maybe that's why I find most women so disappointing by comparison.
Dad, alas, was more like Willy Loman.
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