Wednesday, March 29, 2023

This just keeps getting lulzier.

Did you sign up for Twitter Blue?

Are you tired of people mocking you with this meme?

Well, Elon has a solution for you!

As part of your ultra premium sucker customer package, you'll be able to hide the blue checkmark that you  agreed to pay eight bucks a month for! (Remember that it was going to be twenty bucks a month, but Stephen King haggled him down?)

Basically, now that all the actual celebrities, politicians, scientists, reporters, and other verified types are supposedly going to start losing their free checkmarks on Saturday, and Elon's offering a blue check taker-offer machine to his marks customers, this story is starting to seem really familiar...
In the land of the Tweetees, where the birdies tweet all day,
Lived Horsey McElon McMean, who had a cunning plan underway.
He built a wondrous contraption, the Blue Check-On Machine,
To give Tweetees checkmarks, by robbing them clean.

There were Tweetees of two kinds, with or without blue checks,
Those without felt ignored, like life's unfortunate wrecks.
Horsey McElon McMean saw an opportunity,
To make a fortune from Tweetees, by selling them exclusivity.

He charged $8 per check, a bargain they suspected,
Tweetees flocked and paid, eager to be respected.
The Blue Check-On Machine buzzed, beeped, and puffed,
As plain Tweetees walked in, and out they came, blue-checked and chuffed...