Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Grabbers vs. Groomers

There's a great new episode of the Tactical Tangents podcast up, and it's on a topic that's near and dear to my heart:
"The statistical fact of the matter is that most victimization comes from people who look like us and are already in our social circles. That’s extra true about sex crimes, and super extra true about sex crimes against children. Tune in as we discuss teaching ourselves, loved ones, and especially our kids about understanding social norms, establishing boundaries, and the importance of informing someone in authority."
You should definitely take the time to listen to this one.

On their show, Mike and Jim often talk about "tactical fantasies", and I find that one of the most pernicious of those fantasies is a hardware-oriented one that could be described as the "I'll just..." fantasy.

Worried about sexual assault on yourself or a loved one? "I'll just [get/give them] a [gun/pepper spray] and when that bad man jumps out of the [bushes/windowless white van]...POW!"

But that's not how the majority of those crimes occur. The baddies in these cases spend time gaining trust and eroding boundaries until they get what they want. Are you gonna shoot Uncle Fred? Pepper spray your supervisor at work?

Learn the signs. Draw boundaries. Inform someone who can help.