When we last left my Charter Communications saga, I had an appointment for a line tech to come investigate the connectivity issues on Tuesday, so I left for Nashville.
A couple of minutes ago, I'm sitting here at Oleg's surrounded by preparations to go to the range. Next thing I know, Oleg's handing me his cell phone. It's my downstairs neighbor. There's a Charter tech there claiming he needs authorization from someone in order to bill me $49 to "fix the self-install" before he can begin work.
"Let me talk to him. ... Hello?"
"Yes, I'm here to fix a self-install. The charge is $49. I ne..."
"There's nothing wrong with the install."
"My sheet says tha..."
"Look, the modem's installed right where I installed the last Charter cable modem; plugged into the same outlet, hooked up to the same cable jack, connected to the same wireless router."
"Yes, well maybe the..."
"They were supposed to send a line tech out on Tuesday to see if everything was hooked up correctly after the septic tank guys cut the cable. You think that might have anything to do with it?"
"I was installing internal 1200 baud modems in Turbo XT's while you were still singing along with Barney; I was working in BellSouth's DSL help center while you were still worried about girl cooties; this ain't my first rodeo. Can you just make sure I get a line tech out here on Tuesday?"
"I can't schedule that. You'll need to call the toll-free service number."
Which is back in Knoxville, where I ain't.
He hung up. I felt muscles knot and veins pound.
"Oleg, please take your cell phone out of my hand before I throw it. Thank you."
I didn't go along to the range with the rest of the crew; it's hard to have fun when you're this upset.