Monday, September 03, 2007

How To Not Talk To Tamara.

*ring, ring*

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Tamara please?"

"This is she."

"Do you know who this is?"

"No, who is this?"

"Guess."

"I hate playing guessing games."

"Well, if you answer ten questions, I'll tell you who this is, how I got your number, and who put me up to calling you."

"Ooooookay."

"How old are you?"

"What the hell kind of question is that? Who is this?"

"Answer the questions and I'll tell you."

"No."

"Okay, then. 'Bye!"




Whoever gave this guy my phone number, please don't do that again. Especially if he's going to call at nine-o'-damn-clock in the morning when I'm trying to enjoy the day's first cigarette in peace. The people I want to have my phone number already have it, because I gave it to them.

40 comments:

Carteach said...

Caller ID?

Nice thing to have...... Blocked numbers on the line we actually give out, are people we don't care to speak with.

7.62x54r said...

People still answer the phone? Who knew!

Jeffro said...

+1 on caller id. Any blocked or unknown numbers are not answered, and numbers I'm not familiar with are Anywho'd. If you don't want me to know who you are, you really don't need to be talking to me. If Anywho doesn't know who you are, I don't care to know ya.

Tam said...

I don't have a land line, and the cellie has built in ID.

Yeah, it was from Unk., but a few of my friends work at Unk., so I try to answer calls from there.

Digital Falcon said...

The caller was just wrong. You were nicer than I would have been. I don't have caller ID, and I usually don't answer the phone, but I would be torqued if I had gotten that call.

phlegmfatale said...

That kind of game-playing is just insulting. He called YOU and insisted on plying you for additional info before identifying himself? Sheesh.

breda said...

hmmm...I would have hung up right after the caller said,"Guess."

Anonymous said...

"I have a phone for my convenience, not yours."

M.D. Creekmore said...

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LiveWire

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Matt G said...

Well, now I'm a little embarrassed.

See, LawDog and I met this great guy last night, and thought you might like to meet him. Seeing's how I had your cell phone on my phone, I just thought "what the heck?" and gave it to him.

You'd love him. I know that your mutual interest in military history and armament will keep you chatting for hours.

He has these really boss experiences to tell you about, if you'll just give him a chance.

But if you ever go out, perhaps you'd better drive. ;)

Anonymous said...

matt ~

*snork*

Anonymous said...

The last time I had a conversation like that, it was someone put up to it by my then girlfriend... in high school.

D-cups be damned, she didn't last long.

Mike said...

You are remarkably tolerant. Non-serious phone calls in the single digit AM hours normally merit a visit from the evil minions. Is there a Rent-A-Minion service in your area? Can you say franchising opportunity?

Rusty said...

If you're curious enough to know who called you its simple enough, call your provider and ask for a CDR (Call Detail Record) report on your phone. Sprint will do it for a couple of dollars.

I caught a couple of asswipes who showed up on my phone as "Unknown Caller" (who turned out to be drunk ex-friends) with that trick. I wouldn't have gone through the trouble, except they were prank calling me 3 to 5 times a day on my cell phone at work.

They stopped real quick when I started answering unknown callers by asking "Is this Tom, Mike, or Greg?"

Anonymous said...

If you don't mind sinking $15 into it:

(1) Get the caller's phone number either through Caller ID or *69

(2) Visit http://www.reversephonedirectory.com/ and search. You may need to pay to get the details.

Anonymous said...

I am paying for a telephone for me, and my wife, and if I don't want to answer I don't ever - if I miss an important call I think of all the really important stuff I might have missed if I had been a caveman in 50,000 BC. About the same effect. Really, matt g is so wrong, a real man would have told you his name and engaged in meaningful conversation or asked to share coffee face to face and talk. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

New stalker, Tam?

How nice. Let us know if you need us to meet him somewhere for a bitch-slapping.

Unless you just want to shoot him yourself, of course.

Anonymous said...

"Let us know if you need us to meet him somewhere..."

Some bloggers have a fan-base.

Tam gots da posse.

Da posse *comitatus*

Anonymous said...

A *69 will usually freak people like that out. They'll think you know more than they do.

Anonymous said...

Or alternatively:

Wait 5-10 minutes after they call.
Hit *69.
Ask for Threepwood.
When they say "wrong number", ask for their name and/or number.

(Make sure to disguise your voice.)

Hobie said...

You were a lot more polite than I would have been... I hang up if it sounds recorded, the doofus makes no sense, or the person calling just ticks me off. The phone is for MY convenience, not theirs.

Zendo Deb said...

I would find who gave out my number, without my OK, and have their legs broken.

That guy was just an idiot.

That "friend" constitutes a real live hazard.

Anonymous said...

Caller ID is great unless you have friends who call from Private or Unk, Unkk, there's no name on it. With a nod to Tuco on that last one.

Did you take a shower after you finished your smoke to help wash the crazy off?

Anonymous said...

Back when *69 was new and obscure, a woman a couple removes from me used it to return an obscene phone call and ask if she was going to have time for a shower before he came over and [what he said he'd do]. No doubt scared him silly till he learned how to block it.

J.R.Shirley said...

Hmph. More tolerant, indeed. I've had collection agencies hang up on me. Get my damn name right at least...

Billy Beck said...

A reading:

"The telephone, I believe, is the greatest boon to bores ever invented. It has set their ancient art upon a new level of efficiency and enabled them to penetrate the strongholds of privacy. All the devices that have been put into service againt them have failed. I point, for example, to that of having a private telephone number, not listed in the book. Obviously, there is nothing here to daunt bores of authentic gifts. Obtaining private telephone numbers is of the elemental essence of their craft. Thus the poor victim of their professional passion is beset quite as much as if he had his telephone number limned upon the sky in smoke.

I remain opposed to the telephone theoretically, and continue to damn it. It is a great invention and of vast value to the human race, but I believe it has done me, personally, almost as much harm as good. How often a single call has blown up my whole evening's work, and so exacerbated my spirit and diminished my income! I am old enough to remember when telephones were very rare, and romantic enough to believe I was happier then."


(H. L. Mencken, "The Boons Of Civilization", January 1931, The American Mercury)

~~~~~~~~

A common telephone greeting at my desk: "Explosives. Who gave you this number?"

Cybrludite said...

Yeah, that's a real bright idea: crank-calling someone known to be exceptionally well-armed.

Mr. Fixit said...

sounds like a stalker to me. The "quiz" sounds like fishing for more information.

So, whatever happened to that Neo guy?

Be careful.

Walk softly....

Mr Fixit

dr mac said...

Matt G., Tam is your friend, right ? WTF were you thinking ?

Well, at least he owes you one.

7.62x54r said...

I'd bet it's more likely to be an attempt at ID theft.

Anonymous said...

According to Wikipedia's page on Vertical Service Codes, *57 performs a trace.

I don't know if that can be blocked or if only certain phone networks support it. Someone around here must be a phone geek.

Anonymous said...

It performs a trace, but it sends the results to the phone company, who then conduct an investigation and forward it to law enforcement if appropriate. They only release the results to the authorities.

Not sure if it even works for cell phones, though.

Anonymous said...

"They only release the results to the authorities."

Because We're The Only Ones...

Anonymous said...

A common telephone greeting at Billy Beck's desk: "Explosives. Who gave you this number?"

I did some development work for a Naval engineering activity. They answered the number I had for them "This is an unsecure line."

freddyboomboom said...

Triticale, in the Navy you have to answer almost every phone with "this is a non-secure line, subject to monitoring" among the other things you have to say...

At work, when I'm "on call", I have to forward the emergency IT hotline to my cell phone, so when I get an "unknown" call, I answer it with "Emergency IT, what's the nature of your emergency?" I had someone hang up on me last week...

Anonymous said...

Yeah. That's what I wanna do-- call a heavily-armed borderline psychotic and play silly guessing games.

I remember what a crank I was before my first cigarette of the day.

comatus--I don't wannna slap him; I wannna watch Tammy slap him. It would be worth the drive across Tennersee, and I could see the grandkids later.

Anonymous said...

Well, I didn't do it. If I got cell phone harassed more than a few times, I'd probably just go have my number changed, and then inform the original 3 people I told when I got the thing.

Everyone else would either figure it out, and have to go through the re-approval process for the new number, or they wouldn't figure it out, and the calls still stop.

CCO

Anonymous said...



*Ring ring*

"Hello."

"Uh, who is this?"

"Who are you trying to reach?"

"No, just tell me who -" CLICK

Life's too short . . .

Matt G said...

"I'd bet it's more likely to be an attempt at ID theft."

That's what I was thinking, too.

LawDog said...

Sounds like someone watched one too many episodes of Mind Control with Derren Brown and decided to try an experiment with a random telephone number.