...that police department spokespeople get sent to in order to be trained to make the kind of inane remarks they sometimes do.
Some scrote in Minnesota attacked a 24-year old woman and took her keys and her phone. Then he took off her shoes and licked her toes before dashing into the night. Thankfully he was apprehended four blocks down the road.
Commenting on the incident, one "Commander Kevin Casper" said the attack was, and I quote: "weird sexual behavior".
Thank you, Captain Obvious. We out here in the peanut gallery never would have figured that one out without your expert input.
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"Then he took off her shoes and licked her toes before dashing into the night. Thankfully he was apprehended four blocks down the road."
Did they apprehend him bent over and losing his cookies?
Was it Dick Morris? Wait. You said
licked not sucked. Nevermind!
In the spokesman's defense, perhaps his department has had some recent toe-licking cases that were something other than weird sexual behavior. Now, you see, that would be REALLY disturbing.
From the files of Commander Casper:
There'd been a rash of strange incidents involving beautiful young fashion models found naked and unconcious in laundramats on the East Side. Unfortunately, I'd been assigned to issue statements to the press out of our Public Relations Bureau on the West Side. I was across town doing my laundry when I got the call from my Chief.
Wait!
Toe licking is weird?
Ain't admitting nuthun', just saying.
I think the fire department spokesmen go to the same school, at least in ATL. Now that I think about it, so do the DOT spokesmen, although they're usually ladies. I guess you're supposed to feel better about sitting in traffic if a semi-cute chick in a hard hat warned you about in on TV.
Oh yeah, my favorite one is where they refer to a guy who has just intentionally maimed children as "the gentleman"........
Let's not forget the ever-popular "alleged perpetrator" description of the room -temperature ski-masked ex-goblin outside the Stop-n-Rob.
http://minneapolis.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/09/carltondavis.jpg
Check out the toe lickers picture!
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