Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I don't get this.

In the place where I lived my whole life, everything had flowers on it at this time of year. All the trees. All the bushes. The place smelled like a French cathouse of a warm Spring evening. There was so much pine pollen on the ground that you could just about clear it with a shovel. Out of twenty-nine years spent in the South, I think I got a runny nose in Springtime once. Once.

Right now? My eyes... do you read me? Are you copying this five-by-five? My eyes are itching. What in sweet suffering Shiva's name are you people growing here in Hoosierville? Is Indiana not a signatory to the BWC?

24 comments:

Brandon said...

Growing up in the vicinity of Memphis, I've had the opposite experience. If I went an entire spring week without itching eyes (among various other torments), the only rational explanation would be that I'd joined the ranks of the undead. Living in a place where that's not the daily springtime reality is the stuff dreams are made of. I feel your pain!

Jeffro said...

Ragweed? Lots of allergy sufferers are keyed to that out here.

I've been relatively immune over the years. However, ohhh, say twenty five odd years ago, back when Bolivian Marching Powder was in, my visiting aunt brought in a bunch of sunflowers. They dumped a load of yellow pollen on the table. I, wanting to play, broke out the credit card and started lining up the "powder." Just lining it up, mind you. After a few minutes, I'd never been so miserable. So, I can feel your pain.

Joseph said...

I live in San Antonio, and the Dr. just put me on antibiotics for allergy related bronchitis and wants me to take antihistamines year round.
Never had this kinda problem before!

staghounds said...

Long hot showers with lots of steam might help. So I'm told by allergy sufferers.

Verification word, "flutmr".

"Flutmr! Flutmr!" Tamara exploded over and over in an aerosol of human and plant DNA. "Flutmr!"

Roberta poured another drink, thinking wistfully of the days when the worst things about her new roommate were her hissing cats and unexpectedly large coffee consumption.

"Flutmr!"

Zendo Deb said...

That (and the snow) is why people leave the Midwest.

But living in a place where you have no immunity to the pollen can be a bit rough. It was worst when I lived in San Jose. The golden rod (or whatever the hell it was) just about killed me. They tried to convince me eating the local honey (has to be local) would help. I'm not so sure.

benadryl does work if you don't mind being sleepy. (I usually took it before going to bed.)

Earl said...

Wanting to cause fear and fumming, I think that the lack of enough bee population to use up the pollen is your problem in Indiana. But truthfully, if your eyes are really affected I would look a bit beyond the pollen, to: dry eyes - dust from industry, smoke from chemically almost pure fires.... oh, don't wear a full face helmet and sneeze, but you knew that.

Paul Simer said...

I was walking through a yellow-tinted parking lot today here in Jackson, TN, and thought about making pollen-angels, just for you.

Farmer Frank said...

It could also be mold. Indiana is endemic with just about every mold you can think of. Me, I'm allergic to altranearia (I think that's how you spell it or al-tra-near-ia).

For me it's dangerous stuff and part of the problem this time of year is all the old vegetable matter (think corn stalks and bean stubble) in the fields being disturbed by idiots like myself and then being carried whereever by the wind.

Sorry.

All The Best,
Frank W. James

farmist said...

http://www.webmd.com/allergies/news/20060419/spring-allergies-worst-us-cities

Knoxville is ranked 6th worst in the US for spring allergies; Indy is not on the list.

Lucky you.

Jerry said...

See, I'm just the opposite. Indiana, fine. Oklahoma, a slight tickle in the throat. Houston, full blown sinus infection within 24 hours! And I live in the country. We got it all: dust, mold (from corn stalks), and all kinds of native grasses.

Better get thee to an alergist and figure out what's tormenting you.

joe said...

Lets stop talking about this nonsense and get to the real issue.....Just when were you in a french cathouse????

Sean_Galt said...

Consume locally produced honey; it will help adjust your immunity to whatever the foul local substance is (assuming its plant/pollen based.)
It worked for me the last time I relocated.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

When I had it bad here (before the allergy shot series I had), I swore by three things; loratidine, chlorpheniramine, and diphenhydramine. I use the chem names because if you hunt them down you find the ueber-cheap generics.

Loratidine is low-level 24 hour help.

Chlorpheniramine I keep around for an extra boost if I need it, when the loratidine gets overwhelmed. It only lasts 3-4 hours but it doesn't knock you out and it's stupid cheap. It's a different mechanism so sometimes it works when nothing else will.

Diphenhydramine I keep at home. That's the stuff that comes out when I can't breathe through my nose at all or my eyes start to swell shut; it's at home because it used to be sold as a little pill called "nytol" with the obvious connotation.

The Doxylamine (Unisom) based sleeping pills are also incredibly effective antihistamines.

(Dr. Strangegun has no medical training, just 22 years of agonizingly severe allergic symptoms)

B&N said...

you mean, itching eyes are a new experience?

I thought everyone had that same problem during allergy season.

Go figger.

Benedryl or Claritin. Make them your friend.

Jeff said...

It's something we're spraying over Broad Ripple to keep the newcomers inside and to screw up their aim if they do happen to come out! What with them threatening to go strolling about our state parks while our children are fishing. :)

Reno Sepulveda said...

It's all what your body is used to. I have a friend who moved here (Calif. Central Valley) from Indiana four years ago. During their first summer here, the whole family got asthma for the first time in their lives. Something in the pollen mix you've never been exposed to before and bingo you're down.

Fexofenadine (generic Allegra) works for me.

karrde said...

I had someone in my family experience nasty allergies after moving house (two decades ago.)

I was a young 'un myself, and an older sibling had a nasty allergic reaction during certain seasons.

Strange thing was, we'd moved a whopping two miles from the old domicile to the new domicile.

One year, my parents got somebody to come clean out the furnace ductwork. After that event, the allergic reactions ceased.

Is there any ductwork in the house? If so, when was the last time it was cleaned?

Oldsmoblogger said...

This is a particularly bad spring for allergies, because mine only kick up in bad years. I'm finding that Zyrtec handles it pretty well, and I take it only when it's really bad. My oldest son is having a lot of trouble with his allergies this spring.

Jeff the Baptist said...

Regional allergies are a bitch. There is something in my workplace (maybe mold?) that sets off my eye allergies. I go to work normal and by lunch my eyes are itchy and bloodshot. Visine-A is my friend.

Rob K said...

Who knows? I'm native and I've never had allergies. My ex-wife is a native and she's always had them. Maybe something (not) in your diet? I've heard about the locally grown honey cure a few times. It can't hurt to try. Who doesn't like a biscuit with honey?

CAPTCHA: kuhplz : that sound you're making every few minutes.

El Zopilote said...

Allergies- ick. After suffering for my entire life, I finally found out that I was allergic to my parent's house (no joke) when I returned for a visit while on leave from the Army.

When your face hoses snot like the Alien anticipating his next snack, and your eyes and sinus itch so bad that you want to smash your own face with a hammer just to make it stop; try holding an ice cube in your mouth- back on the soft pallet. I have found that sometimes it is the only thing to give relief. (until the antihistamines kick in)

Anonymous said...

What part of "D'oh" did you not understand! Atlanta, Knoxville, and you went further north? you are obviously allergic to The CFN. May I suggest someplace like "The Keys"(not West)?

perlhaqr said...

I'm with oldsmoblogger, zyrtec is the bomb.

For eyes, the prescription only "Patinol" does amazing things. It's an astoundingly effective eyedrop.

Nyx said...

That Yankee I imported from New Jersey is very sympathetic to you. He has yet to see anything growin' here in SE Texas that he just never saw up there in Yankeeland (other than our grass... apparently, people don't have proper yards for the younggin's to play in up there), yet his allergies have gone haywire for the first time in his life. I'm trying to force a spoonful of local honey down his throat everyday to help him with that, but he hates honey. Damn Yankees!