Thursday, April 17, 2008

The jury didn't buy it, and neither do I...

One Jean Pierre Orlewicz, a callow youth of 18, claimed he killed his partner in an extortion scheme in self-defense. This is because his lawyer explained that the jury probably wouldn't buy a story about the victim, Daniel Sorenson, slipping and falling over backwards on a knife 13 times and then somehow accidentally beheading himself and setting his hands on fire. As it turns out, the jury didn't buy Orlewicz's story about stabbing a man in the back 13 times in self defense, either. Go figure.

Outrage for the victim is tempered by the fact that he was armed and preparing to rob a man of $40,000 at the time of his death. In light of that fact, I'm only really sorry that Mr. Orlewicz didn't stab himself a half-dozen or so times while he was about his grisly task.

"Self Defense"... Boy, that just about defines "chutzpah", doesn't it?


Turk Turon said...


I like this one:

"They said his death was accidental. He fell down an open elevator shaft. Onto some bullets."
(Janeane Garofalo)

Ken said...

"Self Defense"... Boy, that just about defines "chutzpah", doesn't it?

In the immortal words of Bill James, I'm not sure whether that qualifies as chutzpah or chutzpidity.

Anonymous said...

That arrogant worthless sh!t bag got what he deserved. At the age of 18 he hasn’t yet contributed a dime to the society, yet he’s got an attitude of a billionaire. He screamed at his parents, told them he wasn’t going to spend a day in jail, called his lawyer runner-boy. What is he? The prince? Well, now he’s got a lot of time to grease up his ass for the real bosses of his block.

Anonymous said...

Well, it was either that or plead guilty.

C'mon. The guy CUT OFF SOMEONE'S HEAD. And you're surprised that he's nuts?

Cliff Pervocracy said...

Orlewicz denied Letkemann's assertions that after the killing, he played with Sorenson's head like a puppet.

Yeek. I know that when I think about how I'd defend myself in a worst-case-scenario, people puppets are definitely part of what I'd be reluctantly forced to do.

I guess he doesn't have anything else he can say though. Some court cases are like... a really bad soccer game. Even when the score is 5-0 against him and there's one minute on the clock, the goalie still has to stand in front of the goal. Just because dumb as it is, nothing else is going to work better.