View From The Porch: Today In History: Assassination.

Monday, April 14, 2008

"But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

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Matt G said...: How much did it suck to be Clara Harris?

1. You can only get an engagement out of your stepbrother, a Major in the U.S. Army.

2. He takes you to a play, where your esteemed hosts are late.

3. And when they arrive, after all but making out in the theatre-box, the tall old guy with the beard catches a bullet and bleeds all over the theatre box.

4. And now your fiancee/step-brother is stabbed and crippled, passing out and making you look like the perfect heel is you ditch him.

5. Well, I guess there goes any chance of seeing the end of the play.

6. After a LONNNNG engagement (2 years? People typically didn't live past 50.), she finally gets to marry her step-brother, making her mother in-law also her step-mother. Nice.

7. After 16 years of marriage and 3 kids, husband shoots and stabs her (hmmm... where'd he learn that), because he's crazy as a shytehouse rat.

8. In 1951, her grave was destroyed for lack of interest.

Yet everybody remembers how bad it was for Mary Todd Lincoln. . .; 3:07 PM, April 14, 2008
Anonymous said...: Well, this t-shirt design is perfect for your neighborhood John Wilkes Booth sympathizer.; 9:41 PM, April 14, 2008
Anonymous said...: And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln.; 11:03 PM, April 14, 2008

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