Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
To avoid the legal nets that entangled Bernie Goetz, just yell "Help! Help! Police!" like Kitty Genovese.
How much did it suck to be Clara Harris? 1. You can only get an engagement out of your stepbrother, a Major in the U.S. Army. 2. He takes you to a play, where your esteemed hosts are late. 3. And when they arrive, after all but making out in the theatre-box, the tall old guy with the beard catches a bullet and bleeds all over the theatre box. 4. And now your fiancee/step-brother is stabbed and crippled, passing out and making you look like the perfect heel is you ditch him. 5. Well, I guess there goes any chance of seeing the end of the play. 6. After a LONNNNG engagement (2 years? People typically didn't live past 50.), she finally gets to marry her step-brother, making her mother in-law also her step-mother. Nice. 7. After 16 years of marriage and 3 kids, husband shoots and stabs her (hmmm... where'd he learn that), because he's crazy as a shytehouse rat. 8. In 1951, her grave was destroyed for lack of interest. Yet everybody remembers how bad it was for Mary Todd Lincoln. . .
Well, this t-shirt design is perfect for your neighborhood John Wilkes Booth sympathizer.
And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln.
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