That's right, this weekend is the 39th annual Broad Ripple Art Fair. That means that in addition to being able to view the Common, or "Broad Ripple", Hippie, there will also be a variety of exotic non-native hippie species on view, as well as tons of confused tourists from Carmel. Here I'll attempt to answer some questions for the lost Hamilton County resident:
Q: Is that patchouli I smell?
A: Yes. Patchouli is the scent of Bolshevism. The Common, or "Broad Ripple", Hippie secretes it from a gland located in their Obama bumper sticker.
Q: Should I feed the ducks?
A: If it would amuse you and you wouldn't mind having ducks following you around Broad Ripple.
Q: Should I feed the kid in the fatigue jacket with three safety pins in his nose and a skinny dog with a bandanna around its neck tied to his guitar case?
A: If it would amuse you and you wouldn't mind having... on second thought, just No.
Q: Am I really seeing two giant arms sticking out of the ground, holding a turtle?
A: You are not only seeing them, you helped buy them. Aren't they pretty? They're a metaphor for the current situation in the executive branch, but we ran out of grant money before we could add the giant bronze fencepost upon which the arms were to be placing the turtle.