Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Overheard at nap time:

When I was little, Grandma would tell me that God had given me a brain and that if I didn't use it, he'd give me an aneurysm. That's a heck of a thing for a grade-schooler to worry about, and I've been mortally scared of waking up with the IQ of an eggplant ever since. As an adult nothing frightens me worse than the thought of Alzheimer's, of having my essential me-ness float off, never to come back, so what happened yesterday morning was pretty rattling.

I've got a pretty good sense of direction. I don't get "lost" in that I don't think I've ever been in a place that I couldn't find my way back the way I'd come, and once I've been somewhere, I can almost always dead-reckon my way there again. Well, yesterday morning somebody misplaced the coffee shoppe that sells filters for the Chemex at Roseholme.

I mean, I knew where I was; I certainly wasn't lost. But where was the ferschlugginer store? I could picture it in my mind, but it wasn't at the expected intersection. Or the other intersection. I had to orbit the block to find the joint, and was thoroughly shaken by the experience.

So I told my roommate about my experience, and my Alzheimerphobia, and she decided that the thing to do would be to awaken me from my evening doze on the futon and check to see that I was oriented in space and time:

RX: "Tam. Wake up."

Me: "Mmpph... huh? Wazzat?"

RX: "What's the date?"

Me: "Huh? I don't know. The 26th?"

RX: "Name two states."

Me: "Denial and confusion."

RX: "Who is the president?"

Me: *pause* "Oh... damn it!"

RX: "You're oriented, all right."


the pawnbroker said...

i was going to suggest a mini-gps implant, but on second thought maybe a little alzheimer's could be a could thing, leading to that elusive third state: bliss. you'd want to be able to switch it off though, in oh, i don't know, 44 to 92 months?


wv: sinnapse...ha!

Liberty Girl said...

You get to nap? In the eveningtime??? *seethes with jealousy*

Jerry in Indiana said...

Maybe someone gave you Girl Directions:

Anonymous said...

Pffft, it's Broad Ripple. You probably just turned by the hippie playing the drums. You should have turned by the hippie playing frisbee golf.

Or, maybe you hit your head on my SUV's hatch harder than we thought.

Shootin' Buddy

Ambulance Driver said...

Cheer up! If it gets worse, you'll always be meeting new people, and you can hide your own Easter eggs!

the pawnbroker said...

"a little alzheimer's could be a could thing"...

that would be "could be a good thing"

fortunately for me, apparently. welcome to the state of bliss, where every day is brand new!


staghounds said...

1. I did not know that we were cousins!

2. I hope that I have at least one friend who will send me off if I can't, or don't know that I should, go. Absolutely my greatest fear, living but not being me.

Crucis said...

Back when I traveled to many places whilst repairing computers, my practice, on overnight stays, was to roam around town and get lost. Then find my way back to the hotel. Made for some interesting times, like that episode when I got lost in south San Antonio around 10PM on a Friday night.

But I seldom needed a map after one of those excursions.

rickn8or said...

I wouldn't worry too much about it, Tam, unless you find yourself reading your driver's license first thing every morning.

Joanna said...

RX: "Name two states."

Me: "Denial and confusion."

See, this is why we love you. Don't ever change.