Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Fair is in Town!

That's right, this weekend is the 39th annual Broad Ripple Art Fair. That means that in addition to being able to view the Common, or "Broad Ripple", Hippie, there will also be a variety of exotic non-native hippie species on view, as well as tons of confused tourists from Carmel. Here I'll attempt to answer some questions for the lost Hamilton County resident:

Q: Is that patchouli I smell?

A: Yes. Patchouli is the scent of Bolshevism. The Common, or "Broad Ripple", Hippie secretes it from a gland located in their Obama bumper sticker.

Q: Should I feed the ducks?

A: If it would amuse you and you wouldn't mind having ducks following you around Broad Ripple.

Q: Should I feed the kid in the fatigue jacket with three safety pins in his nose and a skinny dog with a bandanna around its neck tied to his guitar case?

A: If it would amuse you and you wouldn't mind having... on second thought, just No.

Q: Am I really seeing two giant arms sticking out of the ground, holding a turtle?

A: You are not only seeing them, you helped buy them. Aren't they pretty? They're a metaphor for the current situation in the executive branch, but we ran out of grant money before we could add the giant bronze fencepost upon which the arms were to be placing the turtle.


og said...

"as well as tons of confused tourists from Carmel."

Funniest. Throwaway. Snark. Evar.

Anonymous said...

That's a disturbing statue. Wierd slkinny alien arms holding up that turtle to be fried inthe sun like that.

the gripping hand said...

And they've got it wrong. Everyone knows it's turtles, all the way down.

Noah D said...

It could be worse.

Les Jones said...

Or worse still.

Assrot said...

Yeah, we got'em here too Tam. The funniest conversation I ever had in my life was with a kid that couldn't be over 30 wearing a tie dye t-shirt, army field jacket and hobbling around on a cane telling everyone about how he got wounded in 'nam.

You should have seen his face when I told him 'nam ended the year before he was born and I raised my fist like I was going to bust him 'long side the head.

He dropped that cane and ran so fast you'd have thought his ass was on fire.

He must have moved to a different part of town. I haven't seen him in a year or so.



OrangeNeckInNY said...

"Post Turtles" = Obama
Someone put him at the top (of post).
He doesn't belong at the top (of post).
He certainly doesn't know what the hell to do now that he is at the top (of post).

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Carmel people are just dirty hippies with money, anyway.

They claim to be Republicans, but look how they spend money just like socialists.

Oh, wait.

Anonymous said...

'a broad-ripple hippie'

Seen a few,and not very appealing in those double-wide burnooses.

Too much starch and beer in them there macrobiotics, and ya gotta watch what ya scarf down en masse, during those munchie attacks.

Plus those new Budda Playbox Meditation Games relly play hell with the old frisbee flippin' in the park.

Nothing like a porky guy with his frizzy bald fringe tied back in a ratty ponytail, an overgrown bushy-looking facial thicket, and nice big ol' potbelly stuffed in a pair of a waddle-butted jeans.

Kewl...really kewl. and I ain't even gonna touch the subject of that skanky lookin' ol' lady o'his.

Yeah...patchouli, the wonder drug that says something which smells like old sex, will cover up bad personal hygiene.

Ahhhh...the wonder years. Wonder where I was, what I did, and who i was.

'ressesse'..gets points for impressive use of esses.

J, t R