Tuesday, May 26, 2009

He's kind of like a berserker, only not.

Certain Norse warriors, known as "berserkers", would demonstrate their hooah-ness by charging into combat sans armor (and sometimes sans clothes.)

While that probably wasn't the intent here, it still shows a lot of panache.

Also, we probably need to block this guy's blog from being accessed via .mil addresses. He's obviously a bad influence.

17 comments:

Sigboy said...

Tamalanche!
If I ♥ NY Boxers are a sure-fire way to get into Valhalla, I am at a disadvantage indeed.

Nathan Brindle said...

You should always know where your pants are.

roy in nipomo said...

Didn't that kid ever watch Star Trek and see what happened to "Red Shirts?"

wolfwalker said...

Useless trivia of the day: "berserker" is derived from bear-sarker -- Norse warriors whose idea of good battle kit was a tunic (sark) made of bearskin.

Somerled said...

Battle underwear has evolved--all the way from none required, through red, flannel "union suits" with the prominent rear flap, to pink Mayor-Bloomberg-endorsed boxers.

Jenny said...

Oh that's all kinds of cute.

No stones to throw here. If I tried to do his job, I'd need diapers. :)

Wolfwood said...

Yeah, well, when your stones are as big as this guy's seem to be, pants are more of a hindrance than a help.

Michael W. said...

Didn't Julius Caesar wear a red cloak in battle? Gen. A.P. Hill wore a red wool "battleshirt" going into a fight. No doubt this young man is a student of history. With a 21st century twist.......

Turk Turon said...

IWB = Imaginary Waist Band

And who was that legendary Scottish commander who always wore a white turtleneck sweater in combat, even on D-Day? Lord Lovat?

Rabbit said...

Could that be Jack Churchill, Turk?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill

Here's your Lord Lovat reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Fraser,_15th_Lord_Lovat

Regards,
Rabbit.

Mikee said...

And nobody even notices the silver running shoes, sans socks, on the marine to his right....

Tam said...

If you manage to get your trousers on before you jump in the slit trench, you're gonna get upstaged no matter how outre your footgear is.

Linoge said...

Cute undies or not, something tells me the friendly folks on the other end of his barrel were more concerned with other things than what was hiding (or not) his nether regions...

Joel said...

I understand the underwear. I don't understand why he even owns a red shirt.

Ed Foster said...

According to Count Oxenstierna's Encyclopedia of the Vikings, it was more commonly bare skinned (i.e. naked) than wearing bear, although bear skin caps and capes were supposedly pretty common.

It gets confusing in the latter part of the viking era, where the small time raiders (viking, literally to go up the stream, to raid inland) were replaced by professional corporations like the Jomsviking, who owned northern Denmark, much to the dismay of Denmark's king.

The Jomsviking, although rarely berserkers themselves(they hired those as independent contractors) wore black bear skin tabards over their chainmail as perhaps Europe's first true uniform since the demise of the Roman legions.

Dublin was founded by Norwegians, and brought lots of money into Ireland.

The O'Neill dynasty from Ulster would come down once or twice a century to reconquer the place, but both sides knew it was primarily an act, to remind Sigtrygg or Olafr who they paid their taxes to, and generally, especially after two or three centuries of Irish wives for the nominally Norse boys, they got along quite well.

So it was quite a shock for the Irish to see the "Black Vikings" (Jomsviks) conquer the "White Vikings" (Norwegians), take over the place, and cook dinner over the burning bodies of their enemies.

The following year, the Norskis, along with a good sized army of Scottish and Irish mercenairies, returned the favor, without the tacky barbeque, and got the old place back.

Sadly, the O'Brian dynasty usurped the High Kingship from the O'Nialls, and used the east coast cities as a propaganda vehicle to create a national army, lead by, you guessed it, the O'Brians.

For reference, King Brian was born Brian Kennedy. Some things never change.

The defeat of the majority of Europe's Vikings at Dublin (Clontarf) in 1014, coming after the Scandinavian disaster at Largs in Scotland a few months before, meant the fun days were about over.

With their mystique destroyed and the brotherhood so weakened by the Scots and Irish, the Norwegians finished them off in a rather titanic sea battle south of Oslo shortly after.

The high taxes and lack of perks under the O'Brians led virtually all of the "Gael Gall" (Irish foriegners) to pack up and head for the Hebrides or Iceland.

Even today, the incidence of blood types in Iceland is virtually identical to those of Scotland and Ireland, dramatically different from the Norse counties.

Even more interesting is the fact that Alpine/Celtic types are overwhelmingly type "O", genetically recessive to the Norse type "A", yet 2/3rds of Icelanders are "O". I doubt there is all that much Viking blood in the Icelanders. No suprise, the Jomsviks were gay.

An interesting thing about the Berserker years is that it almost totally depleted Scandinavia's supply of XYY chromosomes.

The incidence of XYY males in Sweden is 1 in 2,000 births. In Norway and Denmark it's 1 in 3,000.

In Ireland and Scotland women of exceptional size were given massive dowries to have children by members of the King's select band of six and a half to seven foot tall killing machines.

In consequence, the incidence of XYY there today is 1 in 100, or 3,000% higher than in western Scandinavia.

Something to think about when next you find yourself standing at the bar in a crowded pub, next to a very large man with a bad complexion.

ravenshrike said...

Mikee, I think the flip-flops that pantsless is wearing still top silver running shoes.

lucky-fool said...

I know in that situation I'd rather have a buddy in his skivvies standing next to me than an empty spot waiting for a guy with pants on.