Sunday, May 24, 2009

Multi-level Wrongness...

This article raises more questions than answers. The short summary is that someone with the finely honed fiscal judgment of that lady with the bucket of quarters at the slot machine on the end has had a fifty brazillion dollar entertainment system installed in his VW Passat. He then had an RFID chip stuck in him, as though he were an AKC stud Cocker Spaniel, that will allow him to unlock and start the car just by standing next to it and beaming pure pride of ownership.

So, on to the questions:

1) A fifty brazillion dollar stereo install. In a Passat.

2) Dude, you microchipped yourself like a Persian Longhair to match a Volkswagen?

3) You stuck an RFID chip in yourself? Srsly? Could you not have put it in one of your Spock ears instead?

4) If you drop your car off at the mechanic's on the way to work, do you have to climb through the Early Bird key drop-off slot yourself?


(A very disturbed H/T to D.W. Drang.)

20 comments:

Mark Alger said...

The squick factor attendant on most of the people who are -- you know -- excited about becoming cyborgs comes in large part, I think, from the undeniable fact that their applications are so lame.

M

TheSev said...

What a dink.

Roberta X said...

See, there's a guy who needs the Saudi Arabian death-dealing RFID implant to put him out of our misery. It's the humane thing.

"Hey have you guys seen my superkeen VW-starting Magic Han--aaaarrrrgh."

He's happy in Dweeb Heaven now, kidz.

Stranger said...

My first thought is the high incidence of cancer among those who have 'chipped themselves. For whatever reason Doc Quack says it is above 50%. And even Quack is bright enough to reject that.

So the dude has hit a two bagger in proving his mental incompetence. First, by the equivalent of gold plating a can of vienna sausage, and second by putting himself on the short list for a Darwin Award.

Stranger

staghounds said...

In- er, ON the other hand, having a car opening chip aboard probably beats the heck out of being locked out of the car far from home on a cold and rainy night.

Having a key attached to the outside of the car somewhere beats both, though.

And, isn't it appropriate that it's a VW? If the Furrier were in power today, I'm sure every Hun would bear a multitude of chips from birth.

Ed Foster said...

Mark Alger stole my line, calling the electro-dependents among us 'Borgs. I think that every time I see someone other than a receptionist wearing a bluetooth earpiece.

I never could understand why, on StarTrek Voyager, the cubes had to go around conquering all the time.

The hive mentality is the ultimate expression of the collectivist ethic, and I'm sure many, perhaps most, of the people on the opposite end of the political spectrum would clamor for inclusion.

Think of it. Everyone exactly the same, everyone shares equally, nobody starves or goes cold unless everyone does, plus immortality.

And the only cost is that of giving up whatever part of yourself it is that makes you unique.

We would have to automate the coffee counter at Starbucks though. The tats/pierced lips and eybrows monkeys would be the first to climb on the bandwagon.

jesse said...

Sounds like I need to finish building my rfid cloning device. w00t, free car!

Seriously, I work in computer security and have been playing around with electronic physical security stuff for a while and cloning rfid chips is pretty trivial in most cases.

reflectoscope said...

It is his money to piss away if he wants, but unless you've got a luxury-type car of the finest type (and thus quiet inside) all the great sound you've paid so much for gets mangled as soon as you start moving. What a dope.

Jim

JHardin said...

Stupid is as stupid does.

And, if he's sitting inside the car and locks the door, does the RFID chip immediately unlock it?

perlhaqr said...

Hunh. And it's not even the guy I know who has an RFID implant.

staghounds said...

Seriously, we ought make chipping a condition for admitting every legal alien. Don't want a chip? No problem, stay home.

You're here, no passport, no chip?

No Immigration hearing, and on the bus.

Tam said...

"Seriously, we ought make chipping a condition for admitting every legal alien. Don't want a chip? No problem, stay home.

You're here, no passport, no chip?

No Immigration hearing, and on the bus.
"

While I grok the sentiment, there's an inevitable downside:

I was born here. I refuse to accept any goofy "National ID Card". I'll be damned if anyone will put a chip in me without my consent, which I refuse to give. Do I go on the bus?

reflectoscope said...

If you got on that bus, where would it go?

Jim

T.Stahl said...

Nothing wrong with a nice Passat Variant 2.0 TDI 4Motion, he?

Tam said...

Other than being as slow as molasses flowing uphill in January? No.

Kristopher said...

If I get my mark of the Beast early, can I have a vanity number?

Anonymous said...

To be fair, that generation Passat is little more than a re-badged Audi A4. For 6 or 7 thousand dollars less.

Full disclosure: I own one.

John S.

Anonymous said...

How about if I just wear the RFID "piece of rice" on a keychain around my neck, with an extra two or three at home as backups. The last thing I want is something injected under my skin that identifies me to any scanner that might be active.
Better yet, just give me some normal car keys (and NOT the electronic type that break when I drop them on concrete), they seem to have worked fine for me for the last 30 years.
I'll leave the RFID to somebodies pet...

T.Stahl said...

Hey, hey! My brother exchanged his 75hp Golf for a 130hp six-speed Passat Variant TDI. I can tell you that it does accelerate quite well and is anything but slow. Less'n 10 sec 0-60mph and a top speed of 125 mph. ;-)

Anonymous said...

National ID card? Don't need one. I know who I am.

It's amazing how people can get all madly exercised In Luv with spam cans. Once on I-75, headed toward Knoxville, a Volvo station wagon breezed past. The ego-plate read "URPNXTC". Now, there are indeed many European-made cars about which I could be ecstatic, but a Volvo wagon ain't one of them.

0-60 in 10 seconds? That's only three seconds slower than a 1954 Olds Super 88. 125 ain't a bad shift point to go to 4th gear. Used to be, "If it don't run, chrome it." Now, "If it don't run, chip it." I guess.

But that's just people, I guess. Guys get all slobbery over AKs and Glocks, but I'll pass on the Bella Abzugs of firearms. I'd rather look at a Britney Spears.

Snark, snark, snark...

Art