Friday, July 23, 2010

Defective? It worked exactly as it was designed to work.

Apparently a retired LAPD cop left both his heater and his three-year-old son unsecured in the car. Junior got his hands on the Glock and pulled the trigger. As guns are wont to do under such circumstances, the Glock discharged, and for once, instead of a tragically injured child, the bullet struck the responsible party like a bolt of instant karma.

Now paralyzed from the waist down and looking for someone to blame it on other than the guy in the mirror, the shootee sued everybody under the sun except for himself, which would be pointless, and his toddler, who presumably had shallower pockets than the eventual defendants: Glock, Uncle Mike's, the store where he bought the holster, and the store where he bought the gun.

The judge ruled against him, although for some reason Chavez was not horsewhipped across the town square for bringing a frivolous suit.

Toddlers belong in car seats.

Pistols belong in holsters on your belt.

Here endeth the lesson.


(H/T to Good Hill Press via Unc.)

30 comments:

Michael said...

I like the second sentance of the newspaper article.
"...was off-duty"

The guy is retired, why not point out that he was a father?

Do these reporters follow a mad-libs style of writing where they take a pre-canned story and plug in a few names and facts?

Boyd said...

Was said adult (I use the term loosely) prosecuted for leaving a toddler unattended in a vehicle (he asked, expecting to hear cricket chirps in response)?

"Only Ones," indeed.

Hyman Roth said...

What "retiree" has a 3-year old?

Tony Randall?

Sarah said...

If he hadn't decided to sue everyone but the responsible party, I'd almost feel sorry for the fact that he's suffering the consequences of his near-terminal stupidity. Almost.

Wolfwood said...

1911 ftw!

(ducks)

Anonymous said...

"What 'retiree' has a 3-year old?"

A governmental employee.

20 years on the job with fat California benefits would allow one to retire at say 42 and father the child at 39.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

Hyman Roth,

"What "retiree" has a 3-year old?

Tony Randall?
"

I was wondering what kind of retiree is 39 years old, but then I remembered that this occurred in Los Angeles, and that I may not understand how things work in exotic foreign cultures.

Anonymous said...

Do you get medical retirement for allowing your 3 year old to shoot you?

Lesson learned: don't give guns to monkeys or 3 year olds. Give them both pants.

Shootin' Buddy

alath said...

"Do these reporters follow a mad-libs style of writing where they take a pre-canned story and plug in a few names and facts?"

Why, yes, that's exactly what they do.

They have about 9 or 10 pre-scripted story lines that they run over and over. The job of being a reporter consists in going out and finding "facts" to fill up these story lines. If they encouter a fact that doesn't fit one of the prescripted story lines, their highly-trained brains are physicially incapable of recongizing it.

The most extreme example in my personal experience was when a bunch of TV reporters showed up at our Level III Perinatal Center, having already decided to run an "Awww... Cute Babies!" story. The fact that nine of the twelve babies involved were critically ill didn't fit the story line, so it wasn't mentioned.

Robert said...

Apparently, he was retired after he got shot.

Tam said...

Ah.

That would make sense. The reporter could have phrased it more betterly.

Mike W. said...

Glocks are evil. This would never have happened with a Cobra Arms Patriot....

roy in nipomo said...

I believe that LAPD's retirement is similar to CALPERS. The very best CALPERS offers for sworn officers is 3%@50 (3% of salary for every year worked and the earliest one can retire is 50 yrs old - also a maximum is set at 90% of salary). Of course, an earlier retirement can be for disability and at any rate up to 100% (for full disability). There are other plans for officers (2%@50, 3%@55m 2%55, etc), but all are maxed out at 90%.

The best CALPERS retirement for non-safety employees is 2.75%@55. More common is 2.5%@55, 2%@55 and 2%@60. Non-safety employees have no cap on their retirement (if they work long enough, they can retire on more than 100% of their salary).

Maybe the officer convinced someone that the incident was "service connected" and is drawing retirement due to his paralysis.

Mike S said...

I wonder why neither the article nor the suit mentioned CA's "safe handgun law" on which GLOCK has been very diligent about keeping all their models listed, until CA changed the requirements to include magazine disconnects, which no GLOCKS have.
But in 2006, all GLOCK models were certified as safe by the mighty state of CA, so there you know they are.

Windy Wilson said...

What, no suit against the evil automaker for having killed the Red Line* in the early 50's, thereby ensuring that our hero the plaintiff would have to drive every where, causing him to eventually have to leave his child unattended in order to get to all the errands he is required to do within the limited time the lack of public transportation has afforded him?

*(Los Angeles's famous light rail system that went BK in the 40's due to low ridership and allegedly bought by the "auto industry" just to kill it in order to sell more cars)

Moriarty said...

A CA Sheriff's lieutenant I spoke to was quite worried about his retirement. Apparently the fine folk in Sacramento have been making noises about stealing from CALPERS to pay for whatever the hell the state does over there.

His solution involves buying as many firearms as he can for investment and leaving The Golden State as quickly as possible.

My son, at the ripe age of seven, while happy to tell you (in excruciating detail) about the wonderful geography of California, he'll also tell you, "They have crazy people in charge."

reflectoscope said...

See, the world makes sense today, because being dumb hurts.

Jim

Kristopher said...

Safety?

Is gun. Is dangerous.

How revolvers have safeties on them ( this decde's "safety lock" abortions don't count ... )? Cops were using them for decades.

( I've yet to see a properly holstered and worn pistol leap out on its own and kill someone. )

Anonymous said...

Windy:

Bringing up the Red Line reminded me of a story an older woman told me when I was living in Los Angeles:

She lived in Huntington Park, named for the owner of the Red Line. One day her mother took her to the beach, and they rode the Red Line from huntington Park to Huntington Beach.

When they got to the coast, as she was standing on the beach looking out on the Pacific Ocean, she asked her mother, "Does God still own the ocean, or does Mr. Huntington own that too?"

:D

cap'n chumbucket

Firehand said...

The teachers retirement system in OK has been effed for a couple of decades; the politicians kept raiding it, and the suckass politicians running the system- since the elected jerks robbing the system were Democrats- let them so as to 'have influence'. That worked REAL well.

On the other side, every time the politicians made eyes at the LE retirement system- which was solvent and determined to stay that way- they received word of the large bag of flaming dog doo that would land on them if they tried. THAT system is still solvent.

If CA is allowed to raid that system, the people in it are screwed.
Yeah, it's off-topic, but thought I'd throw it in after reading Moriarty's comment.

Firehand said...

And you expect him to actually take responsibility for effing up?

in California?

aczarnowski said...

I'm the only one professional enough BLAM!

Somebody had to get that reference out.

Crustyrusty said...

What "retiree" has a 3-year old?

Now waitaminnit, I'm 47, retired 7 years ago, and I have a 21 month old...

It DOES happen :p

Gewehr98 said...

Ditto. I'm 44, retired from the USAF in 2006 at age 40, and already well on my way to a second retirement with my new career. I expect to draw two pensions, because I kinda doubt Social Security is gonna exist for much longer.

People get medically retired well before the 20-year point in a military/civil career, too. A friend of mine is a cancer survivor, the USAF retired her at 16 years' service. My brother-in-law was medically retired from the Orange County Fire Authority after a serious injury just 12 years into his career.

Our brainless paraplegic cop, while his disability is by no means a badge of honor, is probably one of those medically retired types.

Will said...

Windy Wilson:
It was the oil companies that went around buying up the trolley lines and shutting them down, in the early 1900's. Standard Oil was the biggest rail buyer, IIRC.

Crustyrusty said...

@ Gewehr98:

SP?

John B said...

horsewhipped across the town square for bring a frivolous suit.

Tam for Judge!

jeffreyquick said...

The would-be Oedipus fails to kill Laius. But since Daddy is no longer capable, will young Oeddi grow into his father's conjugal duties?

jeffreyquick said...

The would-be Oedipus fails to kill Laius. But since Daddy is no longer capable, will young Oeddi grow into his father's conjugal duties?

Anonymous said...

"Here endeth the lesson."

Tam for the win with a Buffy quote.

BoxStockRacer