Monday, May 14, 2012

It's what that double-barrelled 1911 is backup for.

Actual photos of goofy Siamese-twin AR-15 setup are out. Sure to be included as an option in the next Call of Duty upgrade and the talk of every gun shop commando BECAUSE ISRAELI!

Seriously, if you want to hear more BS about any firearm or firearm accessory, all you need to do is associate it somehow with the Israelis and BAM! it couldn't be more tacticool if you'd sewed it entirely out of black Velcro nylon MOLLE webbing.

I have heard all manner of fanciful tales about the origin of the Desert Eagle, from "Designed for Zahal tank crews!" to "Used by Mossad for long-range assassinations!" And don't get me started about how every Sayeret Matkal troopie supposedly has his micro-Tavor bullpup (which is the best gun ever, of course,) fruited up with cheap-ass plastic Mako accessories like a third-grade schoolgirl's notebook with My Little Pony stickers.

40 comments:

Living in Babylon said...

Those pansies and their limp wristed squirrel guns. I personally plan to use a quad .50 as my bugout long arm, backed up with that 5 shotgun abomination from the movie Undead.

Great movie if you like seeing people punch fish in the face BTW.

Anonymous said...

all you need to do is associate it somehow with the Israelis and BAM! it couldn't be more tacticool if you'd sewed it entirely out of black Velcro nylon MOLLE webbing

See, it's snark like this that makes VftP my first visit in the morning web-surf. Check your mailbox in a couple days, Tam.

jf

Aaron said...

It's the ultimate carry solution for those who proclaim: "Two is One and
One is None".

Joseph said...

First thing I thought of was "oh boy! twice the malfs!"

Also, twice the cleaning or see item #1.

SGB said...

...and the Desert Eagle was used by Israeli astronauts to fight off space aliens.

Anonymous said...

Riddle me this:

Was Chuck Norris awesome because he used twin mini Uzi's or were twin mini Uzi's awesome because Chuck Norris used them?

Gerry

TheOtherLarry said...

And what's wrong with My Little Pony?

montieth said...

Unless it's an Octuple mounted QF 2 Pounder, it's not enough guns. Besides, you add a QF to anything and it has a certain je ne se qua that most arms simply don't possess.

perlhaqr said...

Hah! That's nothin' compared to the AR / AK hybrid I came up with. I'm calling it the ARK-62. On the right side, it takes AK mags and shoots in 7.62x39mm, and on the left side it takes AR mags and is chambered in 5.56, or, if you're extra tacticool, 6.8 SPC.

And then there's the .300 Whisper / .30-30 Winchester double rifle I'm calling the Whispchester 30-30-30...

Erin Palette said...

OtherLarry: Depends on if it's Friendship is Magic, or a previous generation. ;)

That said, I have to point out this picture that incorporates both MLP and TAR-21s, and then mention that I am having a holster made with this same design. :D

Anonymous said...

As a certified genuine taz-paying Israeli, all this puzzles the hell out of me.

--s.

Ed Foster said...

The Sayeret boys refused to give up their M-16 A2's.

Just My 2¢ said...

Let's not forget that a .22LR pistol is a proven manstopper because Israelis.

LabRat said...

I'm still gobsmacked Israel's war dogs haven't had a horribly unfortunate surge in popularity for the same reason.

Tirno said...

It may be battle tested awesome Because Israeli, or it may be unconventional yet practical in teeny tiny narrow circumstances Because Racegun, but you can explain any damn thing BECAUSE ISRAELI RACEGUN.

Concealed Carry .12 Gatling Gun? BECAUSE ISRAELI RACEGUN.

Les Jones said...

If you got shot by those you'd better have two Israeli battle dressings.

Disclaimer: I have IBDs in my first aid kits. They seem awesomely better than plain old rolls o' gauze and athletic tape.

Ed said...

If you really want two guns, go big or go home:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M42_Duster

Twin 40mm M2A1 Bofors mounted on a M41 light tank chassis.

The Jack said...

I think we're overlooking the most important question: Does it have two bayonet lugs?

Also, Erin awesome holster idea. Is it the full Luna or just the phrase?

BECAUSE ISRAELI RACEGUN....

Now I'm thinking of a chicken with a tiny Kippah. Inside joke!

Joe in PNG said...

As da Ork boyz say,
"Never enuff daka."

Comrade Misfit said...

Shades of the Villar Perosa!

(Or maybe the dual SMGs wielded by Darren McGavin in "the Challenge".)

AM said...

Big snafu Tam, everyone knows that it isn't "velcro" but "hook and pile fastener"

But I hear the Israeli's are working one better, some new nano material made from the higg's particles woven into unobtanium to form a temporary bond at the subatomic level. And it is supposed to be tactically silent too when you unfasten it. For whenever you are unfastening something while being tactical.

Angus McThag said...

I love the comment there about making one barrel piston and the other normal AR just to end the damn debate once and for all.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to get one. I'll have one barrel shoot forward and one aft.

Gladorn said...

Anonymous, that is the best comment so far! You win one internets!

On an aside, I'm somewhat offended that you compared "cheap-ass plastic Mako accessories" in an unfavorable light to My Little Pony. Just wait until MLP starts replacing all the pink My Little Kitty rifle mods.

Erin Palette said...

Jack: Full Luna, including the phrase. I'll post a picture of the finished product when the craftsman clears me to do so.

And I'm thinking we need to make our inside joke even more obscure...

Justthisguy said...

Actually, I would kinda like to have a Galil, even as heavy as they are reputed to be. I mean, I ain't doing much marching, at my age. More mass means less felt recoil. The bottle opener is right cool, too.

Gerry N. said...

I've been shooting since before I was 7, I'm now 67 going on puberty. I still dunno wadinell "tactical" is except five to eight pounds of black anodised shit slapped on an otherwise more or less useful gun at grossly extortionate prices.

Can anyone explain "Tactical" any better'n that?

Muchas Thank You.

Gerry N.

Reno Sepulveda said...

My gunshop mantra "Please, just shut up dumbass" followed by the serenity prayer.

Anonymous said...

I thought the Israelis invented the Desert Eagle because, well, they could

rickn8or said...

Gerry, "Tactical" is like adding "Marine", "Aircraft" or "Medical Grade" to your product name in order to triple the price.

Goober said...

Rick - Except "marine" grade stuff actually is a little different usually and typically is worth the extra price if you're going to use it in a marine application. (Marine plywood, for instance, is badass stuff.)

"Tactical" is a word that is wholly interchangeable with "cool" in modern lexicon, so that people can add ornaments to their gun like it's a christmas tree without having to admit that all that bling bling is just there to look cool, because, you know, it's "tactical". The word exists solely to convince posers that they aren't really posers. That's about it.

Tam said...

Goober,

"Tactical" once had meaning as a marketing adjective:

A handgun class would teach shooting and safety. A "tactical handgun" class indicated that it would teach shooting and safety while moving, from the draw, and/or using cover.

"Tactical" radios or binoculars were ones that could get rained on or stepped on and still function, but were not coated in International Safety Yellow rubber.

Nowadays, largely, it means "black and expensive", though.

Lergnom said...

"Twin 40mm M2A1 Bofors mounted on a M41 light tank chassis."
Reminds me of the 40/50 mounted as the roof gun of the Beast in "the Consultant"

The Jack said...

Erin: Very impressive.

Though that means, one day, Oleg will need a friend.

More obscure? That's possible.

Angus McThag said...

The problem with a Galil is finding a good one.

Lotsa dross out there.

Grayson said...

I can state, with complete and absolute certainty, the real purpose of this Yiddish Rube Goldberg contraption.

It was built for the sole purpose of driving sensible, logical gun owners crazy.

Guess what?

It succeeded. :D

Cheers!

Goober said...

Tam;

The real meaning of the word "tactical" carries actual meaning, just like the "marine-grade" plywood that I mentioned above. I was trying to make the point that Rick was making, by saying that REAL marine grade stuff is badass, just like REAL tactical stuff has a good use and purpose.

But both terms have been co-opted by posers and salesmen who want you to believe that their widget is better and more usefuller than the other guy's widget, when in fact all they are is black christmas ornaments designed to weigh your gun down and add a bunch of crap to snag it up on.

I have some advice for any folks out there that want to learn about whether something is really tactical or not - take it with you on a northern idaho elk hunt. I do it all the time, and I can decide quickly which of the junk is coming with me or not, and about 90% of the crap these guys would lug along with them in a "tactical" situation would merely serve to slow them down and add more shit to catch on shit.

As for true tactical firearms training, I think I can sum it up in a couple of sentences:

1.) Find cover. Research into police shootings have shown that the guy that wins the fight is rarely the guy who shoots better. it's the guy who finds cover faster and uses it.

2.) keep moving. Literally. Don't stop moving, ever.

3.) Shoot the other guy while following the rules in 1 & 2.

4.) Don't get shot. This includes not sticking your head out in the same place twice, like they do in Hollywood all the time, and also does not include your goal being to kill the bad guy - your goal should be to move away from the situation and wait for the cavalry unless you absolutely must move in for some reason.

There. No charge. :)

noflashbang said...

Happy to see several MLP watcher(if not fans) present and commenting. Tam you need to be more careful mentioning MLP on the internet these days - the Herd is everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Looks like something Red Jacket would make. We'll probably see it on "Sons of Guns" in the future.

mikee said...

As the only member of my family to miss out on firing my brother's full auto Uzi (I was away at college when he visited), there is sometimes a reason the tacticool rolls off Israeli weapons. I regret going to college to this day, and my baby sister still remembers shooting that Uzi when she was 12.