Thursday, May 31, 2012

Overheard in the Office:

RX: (Down the hall, reading aloud.) "'On the spot where Hollywood would someday grow, two vaqueros were crushing a priest to death with his own ώijήеряεςς.' How's that for the opening sentence of a novel?"

Me: "His own what?!?"

RX: "'Wine press'."

Me: "Oh, thank God. I thought you said 'his own wanker.'"

RX: "What did you think I was reading? Although, there'd probably be a market for that on the internet..."

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a bit in the movie "Re-Animator" where someone was strangled by the re-animated corpse's intestine?

Ah, there it is!
http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/reviews/re-animator/reanimator1.jpg

Brian said...

rule 34

og said...

How would you carry a wanker big enough to crush yourself to death? Wheelbarrow?

Andy said...

I'm guessing the editor for that anthology isn't familiar with Crumb's "Cheap Thrills::-)

RevGreg said...

Rule #34

http://xkcd.com/305/

Robert said...

og: There's a Vaughn Bode cartoon that deals with that exact subject. One of his lizards gets sent to hell and that's his eternal punishment.

Nathan said...

@Robert, man, that takes me back. I'll bet I haven't even thought of Bode in 25 years.

Ygolonac said...

I recall a Trosley cartoon where a fellow was crushed by something large and NSFW, that apparently ejected from a wishing well. Police (firemen?) nearby were commenting about how often it happened there...

Needless to say, this wasn't the "Krass & Bernie" stuff he did for CarToons - took me forever to really notice that *that* artist was the same one doing horrible nasty gags for "adult" mags.

Micki Mahoney said...

Ah, for those halcyon days when we could all have our own wanker. Alas, you just can't get the staff nowadays...

Justthisguy said...

Since we are being weird here, I can't stop myself from noting that, according to a link at Uncle's, Tam is now officially a member of the "manosphere." And here I thought she was just a gun crank.

Keep it up, Ma'am, and soon you'll be all kindsa different crank, just as I am.

Justthisguy said...

Robert, Bode ain't even in it. You need to remember some of those S. Clay Wilson drawings. They are quite strange. One of my favorites of those is "The Meth Heads Fight the Feds to the Finish."

DirtCrashr said...

*Zap!* Boy, that takes me back to Jr. high...

Anonymous said...

I thought you were linking to a John Ringo novel...

Matt
St Paul

Drang said...

Allow me to don the Captain Pedantic hat, and point out that, as Micki Mahoney alludes to above, "wanker" is a pejorative, the Brit equivalent of "jerk", derived from the verb "to wank", and does not, directly, refer to any portion of the anatomy.

I shall now doff the Captain Pedantic hat, lest all and sundry conclude I'm a jerk...

Goober said...

Yeah, but in Amurkka, where I live, we know that wanker refers to a part of anatomy, 'accause we ain't no Britishers and if you don't like that, you can GEEEEIT OUUT!

Ken O said...

Bloomberg falls victim of crushing sodomy attack perpetrated by gigantic big gulp.....

Windy Wilson said...

My thought was that a Wanker was someone on the order of a Nun's Priest (cf Chaucer, for hearing confessions) or a prince's whipping boy (cf The Prince and the Pauper). I would argue that the British usage does reference the anatomical part and action in order to be sufficiently perjorative. Besides, about 25 years ago wasn't there a novelty record by some Brit called, "I'm a Wanker"?

Micki Mahoney said...

@Windy, nope, as Drang said, the word 'wanker' refers to the one who 'spanks the monkey' vigorously and often. The pejorative aspect rests on the fact that he can't find a 'special lady-friend' to do it for him.

Roberta X said...

Goober: no. Wrong. The Brits invented the term and they get to define it. It really ought to be properly italicized like any other foreign word when used in American english. And pronounced "WANK-uh" when spoken.

Able said...

Roberta x

Whilst technically correct I must point out, for those of you who (did something very bad in a previous life and) visit these fair Isles, pronunciation varies.

Wank-uh, the Ox-bridge pronunciation, if used pejoratively would get you a double beatin', one for being derogatory, and two for being a 'posh git'.

Wank -A is the more accepted pronunciation, whilst Wink-A (usually preceded, by Yer Fickin) is the norm in the 'blue skinned, skirt wearing' peoples over the border (a friendly people who will demonstrate just how friendly by giving you a 'Glaswegian Kiss' if you attempt to fit in by using the local patois - NB. can be followed either by a 'Gid Kickin' or an invitation to sample the local delicacies 'a pint O'heavy an a deep-fried mars-bar, hinny', depending only on whether you are seen as a 'sassenach' or not).

[I'm available, at reasonable rates, for further entomological and linguistic assistance - I'll just get my hat then, shall I?]

Justthisguy said...

@Able: Heh. My pastor and his family are Irish (naturalized Americans) and he always complains about the Sassenachs. I give as good as I get by saying "barefoot bog-trotters!" which is reasonable, as his wife is generally barefoot in church and jumps up and down when leading the choir.

M'self, I just stand at attention when singing the hymns, like a stodgy Saxon. I like to think I provide a bit of ballast, to keep those wild Irish from just floating up into the heavens.