Thursday, December 19, 2013

Derp sells well: A continuing series.

Here's a video. The derp starts early, so you don't have to watch the whole thing; I sure didn't.



Here we have the classic YouTube Gun Enthusiast Review of a product that anybody with a shred of knowledge about terminal ballistics, or even just basic hands-on experience of shooting things, will realize has some serious flaws built right in to its basic concept.

How does dumb stuff like this survive on the market? (And the hypetastic claims made about this junk are tame compared to the supposed abilities of some boutique BBs in the past.)

Because a lot of people are buying a gun as a fetish. And by "fetish", I'm not talking about the kind where you hang upside down covered in Saran Wrap while a midget in a clown suit throws pickles at you while yelling "Verboten!" but "fetish" in the anthropological sense, where certain powers, in this case strength and protection, are attributed to an inert object.

The gun is no longer just a tool for making holes in things at a distance, but a magical object that projects strength and wards off danger all by itself, and you can buy a power booster for it in a blister pack for only $24.99!

A gun doesn't keep you safe, okay? Guns don't "save lives". Guns don't save lives in the exact same way they don't kill people. A gun is a tool you can use to help keep yourself safe.

This seems like a good place to link to Kathy Jackson's timely "8 Ways To Spot A Bad Self-Defense Product Before It Kills You" essay.

Like the Romans used to say: "Caveat emptor, baby."

48 comments:

Dwight Brown said...

"...you hang upside down covered in Saran Wrap while a midget in a clown suit throws pickles at you while yelling 'Verboten!'"

Well, I know what I'm doing tonight.

Weer'd Beard said...

I subscribed to that guy for about a month before I realized he was really just another drama-llama who knows a bit about guns, but knows a LOT more about marketing, and is such a narcissist that HE is the commodity.

Gross!

Yeah, and all this "Trick" ammo should be played out by now.

But I guess they still sell homeopathic medicine that statistically speaking likely doesn't contain the stuff they claim is in the box, and people still buy it...

Carteach said...

So they 'invented' what is basically 18th century chainshot for a pistol?

There are SO MANY ways this is a bad idea....

Dave said...

Penetration? We ain't got no Penetration. We don't need no Penetration. The magic triple-keyhole bullet don't have to show you any stinking Penetration.

Tam said...

Carteach,

Like Chuck Haggard wrote over at p-f.com, it's for de-rigging ships in bottles. :D

MSgt B said...

Looks very interesting.

I only got to watch the first ten minutes before my midget got impatient and demanded I return to the garage.


Seriously. I'm buying a pile of that ammo so I can give it away at Christmas...to my enemies.

Bram said...

ATF approved? Is that a thing? I know they don't allow some rounds.

If this stuff was cheap, I would buy it as goof to make funny shapes on paper at the range.

Greg in Allston said...

Come on, can't you SEE that this could well be the greatest invention since the bolas or the pocket fisherman?

Tam said...

Bram,

"ATF approved? Is that a thing? I know they don't allow some rounds."

I don't know if he means they got their Type 06 FFL or if it means it doesn't have any of the verboten materials that make a pistol bullet "armor piercing" under 18 U.S.C. § 921(a)(17).

Roger said...

And judging by the "marksmanship" shown by the average shooter at the range I work at, center mass hits will still be rare. Another answer in search of a question.

Divemedic said...

That ammunition is illegal under Florida law. Since he is manufacturing and marketing it in Florida, he is a criminal in waiting. The statute in question is 790.31. I will share the pertinent parts:
(1)(e) “Bolo shell” means any shell that can be fired in a firearm and that expels as projectiles two or more metal balls connected by solid metal wire.
(2)(a) Any person who manufactures, sells, offers for sale, or delivers any armor-piercing bullet or exploding bullet, or dragon’s breath shotgun shell, bolo shell, or flechette shell is guilty of a felony of the third degree

Anyone who buys it is risking a felony:

(b) Any person who possesses an armor-piercing bullet or exploding bullet with knowledge of its armor-piercing or exploding capabilities loaded in a handgun, or who possesses a dragon’s breath shotgun shell, bolo shell, or flechette shell with knowledge of its capabilities loaded in a firearm, is guilty of a felony of the third degree

Actually load that ammo into your firearm, and now you are looking at 15 years:

(c) Any person who possesses with intent to use an armor-piercing bullet or exploding bullet or dragon’s breath shotgun shell, bolo shell, or flechette shell to assist in the commission of a criminal act is guilty of a felony of the second degree

Tango Juliet said...

Come on, can't you SEE that this could well be the greatest invention since the bolas or the pocket fisherman?

I think these come with Slim Whitman albums if you act before midnight tonight.

Craig M said...

Remington polo shirt-check. Glock poster to hang behind my desk-check. Nerdy friend to parrot my statements-check. Tune in next week to check out my ice cube tray bullets for untraceable rounds in colder weather.

Tam said...

Divemedic,

"two or more metal balls connected by solid metal wire."

1) I'm sure his lawyer could argue that those are clearly not balls, since balls are round.

2) Are we sure the projectiles are connected by "solid metal wire" and not some kind of polymer line?

Anonymous said...

Sounded like the fragments are connected by kevlar fiber. Whatever it is, it's not metal. He may have elaborated later in the video, but I reached my limit after he said ammunition these days have too much stopping power.

jf

Farm.Dad said...

“Bolo shell” ? Hell lets just call them Zimmerman pills and be done with it .

Scott J said...

Wow.

I sometimes feel like I'm buying into hype if I buy Remington Golden Saber over plain 'ol Express or Winchester PDX over white box hollowpoints (although I've at least tested the high end stuff to see how it shoots).

Glad to know there's a whole level beyond me so I can feel not so bad :)

og said...

I honestly expected him to say that the strings would wrap around the opponents gun and knock it out of his hand.

After a little back of envelope calculation, I am inclined to think the conversion of the linear momentum to angular momentum is going to slow that puppy down a good deal. I would just about be willing to bet that a pea coat would effectively stop it.

JD(not the one with the picture) said...

"...you hang upside down covered in Saran Wrap while a midget in a clown suit throws pickles at you while yelling 'Verboten!'" That's from "Fifty Shades of Field Grey", right?

Also, Imma get some of those rounds for my "Judge".

Divemedic said...

@ Tam:
You may be right. However, with the way that this state has been swinging blue, and after watching the Zimmerman witch trial, I would not want to be the test case.

With the massive influx of New Yorkers fleeing the taxes of their old state, but fervently trying to show Florida "how we do things up north" the system here is becoming a lower tax version of New York.

Scott J said...

While on the subject of ammo though Fox News yesterday fanned the flames of panic by making the Doe Run ore smelter closure a lead story under the headline "End of the lead bullet?".

No mention at all of bullet makers like Sierra saying it won't affect them.

Pretty soon panic buying is going to make everything as expensive as the crap you feature here.

I need to quit putting off getting some of my boolit molds converted to make hollowpoints.

Tam said...

Scott J,

"While on the subject of ammo though Fox News yesterday fanned the flames of panic by making the Doe Run ore smelter closure a lead story under the headline "End of the lead bullet?"."

What a bunch of ignorant, behind-the-curve toolbags.

Ambulance Driver said...

"Top off the mag in your heater with a couple rounds of Tetherball TactoBlaster Personal Defense Garrottes, and I guarantee you it will stop a fight immediately!

One hit in the Adam's Apple with one of our 230-grain JBP (jacketed bolo projectiles) will cause immediate hoarseness, effectively preventing your attacker from calling for help, while the remaining three fragments, individually guided by magic Bernoulli elves, will whipsaw around and neatly sever your attacker's head like a ring saw through balsa wood!

And how do I know this will happen? Because physics, bitches! It comes naturally to me!

It comes in two loadings, 230-grain Stoppers (rash), and 185-grain Stunners (whelp). Place your order before midnight, and we'll throw in a Ronco rhinestone stud setter, ABSOLUTELY FREE!"


Yeah, nothing says "Calm down and use your sights," like seeing your first couple of rounds in a gunfight leaving a big Mercedes emblem tattoo on Mookie's chest...

Scott J said...

Oh, and thanks for the link to Cornered Cat where I discovered CCW Breakaways.

I had never heard of them and will now have to investigate further.

Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity I went to the website. No mention of bullet weight, velocity or muzzle energy. Also no mention of how quickly the projectile(s) decelerate, I would suspect that those 3 sub projectiles will act like drag chutes. I hope nobody is depending on these bullets in their emergency survival tool.

Myself, I find the best way to increase hit probability is practice, practice, and more practice.

Al_in_Ottawa

Anonymous said...

How does that guy get away with placing all those gun maker logos in front of his infomercial?

Did someone actually license or allow use of their logos to sell trash?

The Jack said...

Second surface aerodynamic....

Aerodynamics do not work that way!

Wait.... shaped like an airplane wing?

It's a car spoiler for bullets!


I'll confess I'd enjoy seeing this nitwittery unfold on a high speed camera.

But hey they've got a computer model, and that's just as good.

OldTexan said...

I kind of think these are good for slicing tomatoes and hams with a spiral cut. You just drive a nail or spike through your food product, nailing it to a fencepost and then activate the radical, new, best thing in 100 years cutting action by simply depressing the trigger. Cleanup is a snap and this is not Ronco approved for use on humans by the Department of Florida Hucksters at this time.

An illegal adaptation in most states is the old timer trick of using split shot sinkers attached to a thin braided fishing leader in a 12 ga. shell. That was supposed to be kind of wicked at very close range since it would be like a wire cheese slicer.

Thanks for the comic relief.

tailwind said...

The derp didn't come early enough in the video for me.

I find it fascinating how much guys like those in the video can talk without really saying anything of substance.

Robert Fowler said...

Tam said...
Bram,

"ATF approved? Is that a thing? I know they don't allow some rounds."

I don't know if he means they got their Type 06 FFL or if it means it doesn't have any of the verboten materials that make a pistol bullet "armor piercing" under 18 U.S.C. § 921(a)(17).

I have a 06 FFL and I have never seen a ATF agent, let alone having them approve any of my ammo. I think the guy is just in love with the sound of his own voice and wants to sound "important". After all, he is the professional and we are the unwashed masses needing his guidance.

Noah D said...

Actually, I'd like to see one of those in flight, on a high-speed camera.

And I fully admit that my desire for APFSDS-T 12g rounds is about amusement, not utility...

mikee said...

IF it used Larry Niven's molecular wire, capable of slicing through darn near anything at bullet velocities, they might have something there....

Oh, wait, Niven writes science fiction.

Never mind.

global village idiot said...

I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first.

OF COURSE it's not for shooting, it's for selling! Have all of you forgot how much our economy depends on people with more money than sense?

gvi

Legal Alien said...

Maybe they should read up on their FL firearm laws re legality of this projectile:-
790.31 Armor-piercing or exploding ammunition or dragon’s breath shotgun shells, bolo shells, or flechette shells prohibited.—
(e) “Bolo shell” means any shell that can be fired in a firearm and that expels as projectiles two or more metal balls connected by solid metal wire.
Seems to me that this new-fangled piece of artwork is firmly in the realms of what is termed a bolo shell.

Tam said...

Legal Alien,

We've been through this upthread.

In Indiana, it is illegal to carry a firearm on school property.

Can you carry a firearm on a college campus legally in Indiana?

Yes.

Because while a college or university may be a "school" as defined in Webster, it's not a school as defined by IC 35-31.5-2-285.

Similarly, a "bolo shell" in Florida is defined as "any shell that can be fired in a firearm and that expels as projectiles two or more metal balls connected by solid metal wire."

The fragments of this round are not connected by metal wire, ergo it is not a "bolo shell" under current Florida statute.

QED.

Anonymous said...

On thinking about this during my commute, I'm willing to bet that the secondary projectiles are only radially spread out from the center projectile for a few feet from the muzzle while the projectiles are affected by a tailwind. The propelling gases escaping from the muzzle behind the bullet will accelerate past it for the first few feet of it's flight. As soon as the projectiles leave the area of the muzzle blast the tailwind is gone and the slipstream of a few hundred mph will make the secondary projectiles trail behind the bullet where they will act as drag chutes.

I'd like to see a series of targets shot at increasing distances or an ultra high frame rate film of the first 20 feet of the trajectory.

Al_in_Ottawa

Fiftycal said...

Do they make this in a .223?

Thomas Smith said...

I want my "Cookie cutter (ring airfoil) rounds back!

Dwight Brown said...

In other news, I KNEW I should have called in a reservation to German Midgets 'R Us, but who would have thought Thursday was their busiest night of the week?

Now what am I going to do with all these pickles?

Goober said...

Okay, so it’s a 230 grain projectile. It splits into four pieces. Evenly? I don’t know, but let’s just say yes.

230/4 = 57.5 grains per projectile (not accounting for any grains of weight that are in the wires).

He says it’s moving at 1,000 FPS. So let’s look into this and see what it means. What other guns do we know of that shoot a 60-ish grain projectile at 1,000 fps?

A .22 long rifle.

So you’ve got a choice between one hit with a .45 and four hits (maybe?) with a .22. Okay… I guess… but wait! There’s more!

Picture a figure skater twirling. She’s got her legs outstretched, spinning relatively slowly, then she pulls her legs and arms in and starts spinning faster than you thought possible. Then, she extends her arms and legs again, and the rate of spin slows back to slower than her original spin rate.

The further out from the center section that those orbiting sections travel, the slower the rate of spin of your projectile. How slow? Depends. My guess is that what you’re looking at here is a remarkable lack of stability and accuracy with this thing because it is working as hard as it can to eliminate any twist from the rifling. Also, if the center section is heavier at all, it will travel faster after a time, leaving the trailing projectile in a cone behind the center projectile. The orbiting projectiles will also be experiencing side drag from the spin that the center won’t be, so the whole rig will tend to pinwheel as the center tries to spin faster than the satellites, also reducing the ‘spread” on the satellite projectiles.

Also, the drag from all of that crap will reduce velocities very quickly. Were I to guess, the terminal performance of this round would be just awful, especially considering that you wouldn’t be able to get any penetration because the wires would keep the bullets from penetrating at all. The awfulness would grow exponentially the further away from your target you are. My guess? It wouldn’t make it 25 yards with any accuracy at all (probably fall apart before then) and 25 feet might even be pushing it.

This is so full of derp that I can’t even imagine these guys keeping a straight face as they are presenting this. It has to be a troll.

Keads said...

Um, NO!

John said...

by ATF approved they mean the ATF knows it will not hurt ATF agents if fired at them, or any other living being for that matter. what a bunch of idiots. so much derp my brain hurts and i do not even know where to begin.

Anonymous said...

This has to be a joke. Originally posted on The Onion, right?

Goyo said...

"leaves the tip of the gun" Yikes. I'm glad they included the animation; I was confused for a bit by the advanced terminology.

Kirk Parker said...

I couldn't get past the host's repeated use of "full feature video". Ummm, what??????

And some of you watched for 10 minutes? I admire your stamina.

Jennifer said...

If only it planted flowers too.

Anonymous said...

"So they 'invented' what is basically 18th century chainshot for a pistol?"

....and despite 3 centuries of improvement in materials, the idea is still made of Fail.

"....Like shooting a hand grenade."

Not.

-jimbob86


Steve Florman said...

Derp made The Blaze:

"High Tech Bullet does Something Pretty Cool"