Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Protocol Officer's Nightmare

They cut in on the local morning news, which was telling us important things like which schools would be closed and where the wrecks were, to show President Barack "The Bride At Every Wedding" Obama get up to speak at Mandela's funeral.

When it became obvious that Captain MeMeMe was going to drag out his oration, they cut back to the local news.

On the stage with all the regular heads of state was President-For-Life Robert Mugabe, a glowering reminder of what exactly the big deal is about the man they're planting today: Say whatever you will about the state of South Africa today, it could have been Much, Much Worse.

Communist fossil Raul Castro was there, and Obama shook his hand as he made his way to his seat, which should give the internet plenty to talk about today.

Not known if there is any truth to the rumor that the protocol officer responsible for the seating chart was found in a closet, hugging his knees and whimpering as he rocked slowly back and forth.

20 comments:

Mark Alger said...

What struck me was... WHEN have you EVER heard Obama say, "God bless America"? Yet, he called down God's blessing on the people of South Africa.

That bilious taste in your mouth: yes, it has a cause.

M

staghounds said...

If only shaking hands was all we did with these tyrants.

Anonymous said...

Actually protocol is pretty easy if you know the official rules of the game.

What's hard is all the jerks thinking they know better who have HUGE egos.

I'd imagine you have to be like the sergeants and PFC's directing parking and traffic at NATO when all the generals show up for coffee & donuts at HQ.

"No sir, respectfully, you cannot park there and if you do, that 50tonne ARV over there will lift your car unto that trailer and you can bail it out impound personally 10km away. Yes sir, I have that authority. Here's my boss on speed dial..."

Except civilian protocol officers need a diplomatic service that's willing to make it stick too.

Paul said...

All of the people on that stage have one thing in common. even the one they put in the ground. they all know better than you how to lead your life.

I am sure he negotiated some havana's from cuba for his next blow and ho get together.

Old NFO said...

NOT the job I'd want at anytime... I don't deal well with egotistical assholes...

Divemedic said...

I don't think that Obama has ever figured out the truth: When you are the President, you are not seen as a man. You are the embodiment of a nation. You cannot act as normal people do, you must remember that it isn't about you, it is about the nation that you are representing.

John Balog said...

It's kind of damning with faint praise that the best that can be said of Mandela is that he resisted the urge to go full genocide when he got power. Ah well, the world has one more good Communist.

John Balog said...

It says a lot about the lowered expectations the world has for Africa that the deceased terrorist is getting hagiographied for not going full genocide after taking power. Ah well, one more good Communist...

Also, you can tell how broken up the world leaders really were by the way they were flirting and taking selfies at the funeral.

KM said...

@Paul - Agreed. The 'powers that be' can all think better than us.
Just ask them...

Anonymous said...

BHO is now campaigning for the office of Secretary General of the UN.

If any man or woman can kill off the United Nations it will be Obama.

Gerry

staghounds said...

When King Edward VII died in 1910. former President Roosevelt happened to be in England and was invited to attend the funeral. It was a huge pageant and procession, which was governed by ancient medieval rules.

The various presidents of republics, having no titles of nobility, were assigned to march behind the Emperors, Kings, Dukes, and Barons.

The President of France found it unreasonable that he had to follow a bunch of titled nobodies, and told Roosevelt so.

T. R. said,

"For God's sake, keep quiet. This is a funeral."

Joel said...

Oooh, think of the fun he could have in the UN! "If you like your national autonomy, you can keep your national autonomy! What? Those Pakis in the blue helmets? Just ignore them."

John Richardson said...

I wonder what the protocol is about taking "selfies" at a state funeral.

http://twitchy.com/2013/12/10/funeral-selfies-obamas-selfie-face-flotus-furious-face-at-mandelamemorial-pics/

From the look on her face, you'd have thought Michelle was the protocol officer having to deal with such things.

Sebastian said...

That has to be her iPhone, since he's not allowed to have one. How did the conservation go after the selfie:

Thorning-Schmidt: That photo turned out nice. I'll send it to you.

B.O.: Oh, you don't have to bother with that Helle, it'll be in my NSA briefing tomorrow.

Sigivald said...

Mr. Alger asked: What struck me was... WHEN have you EVER heard Obama say, "God bless America"?

Well, me, never. But then that's because - just as with President Bush before him, going back my entire adult life - I never listen to any of his speeches.

I voted against him twice, too, and think he's a terrible President.

However, people who do listen to them have heard him say it: In fact, they keep saying he always does so, or did as of 2010, at the end of pretty much every speech of any size.

(And plenty of wackos* also agree, in opposition to him.

* Wacko because he's confusing "establishment of religion" with "mention of God as civil religion"; there is no requirement that the President never mention a deity. Wacko.)

Resolved: On the evidence, President Obama has not only said "God Bless America", but has probably done so publicly, on camera, a few hundred times.

Next?

Shrimp said...

Well, at least he didn't bow down to Castro. Or did he...

Anonymous said...

Twitchy shows that after Barack had too much fun with the Danish PM, Michelle had to have him switch seats with her.

In the photos after the switch the Danish PM is subdued, and BHO looks positively petulant.

iinteger said...

Let's get something straight: Mandela isn't pedestalised because he "decided not to go full genocide". He's beloved because he managed to back down the 80-some percent of the South African population that had been on the brink of a genocide that the world had, up to that point, considered inevitable - because some hotheads had gotten ahead of the game and were already starting.

Sure, he had communist allies - because the communists were the only people who were willing to aid the ANC cause, even before the formation of MK. But anyone labelling him a "good communist" is missing all of the other faces on that podium, and the very point of the protocol officer's dilemma. *Mandela brought people together*. Everyone he could, every opportunity he had. He was that rare thing - an actual statesman, and a peacemaker. The idealist that believes we could all get along if we just communicate, and the realist who went out and made that happen.

Frankly: show some goddamn respect.

LoFan John said...

Well said,iinteger. To say that Mandela "chose not to go full genocide", as if it were as easy as choosing to read Asimov instead of Clarke, is childish oversimplification. According to people who are in a position to know, the man exerted himself to avert a catastrophe. That doesn't sanctify him; But where will we all be, if later acts can't possibly help atone for past misdeeds?

Solaratov said...

iinteger said..."Frankly: show some goddamn respect."

For an unrepentant communist and murdering terrorist?

Not in this lifetime, lil fella.