Just kidding. As one does when one is disrespected like that, both whipped out their gats and sprayed bullets wildly on the crowded street, hitting pretty much everybody but the person they were shooting at. The shooters left, and the people who were sober enough to scatter did so, leaving a drunken few to play the whole "Stop Snitchin'!" game with the po-po and EMTs who arrived to clean up the mess.
Earlier that night, IMPD officers responding to reported gunfire on the east side spotted a man in an alley with what appeared to be a Kalashnikov-pattern rifle. They ordered him to drop the gun and instead he raised it and opened fire on the officers, killing one and being critically wounded by police bullets. Rushed to an emergency room and revived to stand trial, it turned out that the police already had glamor shots of the shooter already on file. This is my shocked face. (Not feelin' real squeamish if the prosecutor wants to go after the death penalty on this one; I mean, it's not like there's any chance they got the wrong guy.)
Last Friday, the local news had an IMPD sergeant on to discuss the ongoing festivities. Probing for a soundbite, the immaculately coiffed talking head asked the cop what he thought was the reason behind the violence. The sergeant rambled off something about "more weapons on the street, and more people willing to use them" before saying that he thought a big culprit was the economy. People, he said, even criminals, were depressed about the economy...
"Damn, dawg, my portfolio is in the crapper! My broker done warned me this would happen if I didn't diversify my damn investments! And you gots to invest, 'cause you can't be knockin' off convenience stores when you're all old an' grey-haired an' shit! Damn! I's so depressed about this economy, Imma go bust a cap in this fool cracka-ass cop."I'm sure that's the problem, Sarge.