Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Boy, Rolling Stone must have been desperate for some filler this week. The piece, provocatively titled "The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America" purports to list the firearms "causing the most harm". These firearms would be:
  • Pistols
  • Revolvers
  • Rifles
  • Shotguns
  • Derringers
Wow... Gatlings didn't make the list, then?

In other news, the five most dangerous automobile types often involved in DUI fatalities are:
  • Sedans
  • Coupes
  • Vans
  • SUVs
  • Pickup Trucks


Beaumont said...

The author of this piece, apparently one Kristen Gwynne, states that pistols are defined by their "built-in barrels". Obviously hours -- no, seconds -- of research went into this journalistic jewel.

fast richard said...

Is Rolling Stone hiring high school students to write their articles now? Or, is the writer still in middle school.

gth871r said...

Wonder if grape makes the top five for ammo?

Ken O said...

Sadly, the number of our clan who click on this story will no doubt encourage the geniuses at Rolling Stone.

Fred said...

I'd be willing to bet pickups are the number one on that list... at least around here (if we're talking about single vehicle DUI accidents.)

Skip said...

So, no hammers, knifes or fists?
Vehicles and fire prolly don't count.

Cormac said...

I just read it... And I feel like I've been trolled

Part of me just can't believe that was meant to be a serious article (I know, I know... Rolling Stone)

RogerC said...

Use it to argue for loosening the restrictions on submachineguns. After all, they're causing less harm (whatever the hell they mean by that) than derringers, so they obviously don't need regulating as much.

Joe in PNG said...

Hunter S Thompson would not approve.

The Jack said...

People fretting about the evils of derringers are up there (and about as informed) with those fretting about throwing stars and switchblades.

skidmark said...

Do you really expect us to believe that convertibles driven by hot chicks in skimpy bikinis did not make the top 5 most dangerous automobiles?

stay safe.

Dr_Mike said...

Fred, I assume sedans came in higher because our host lives in Indy, home of I Must Patrol Drunk.

Cop cars are souped up (and sauced up?) sedans.

Plus, you know, the old phrase "my gun has killed less people than Ted Kennedy's Oldsmobile."

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't the list read

1) Gangsta's guns

2) NYPD guns

3) LAPD guns

4) SWAT team guns

5) Barney Fife's guns


Anonymous said...

Where is "IMPD patrol cars" on your most dangerous automobile list?

Shootin' Buddy

Montana said...

Everybody knows us rednecks in flyover country drive pick-ups. We kill way more than sedans...

I made it to page two of the Rolling Stones article. That's when I knew it was just a troll piece.

og said...

Next issue: The four types of men most likely to commit rape:

1: Fathers
2: Brothers
3: Uncles
4: Sons

Aaron said...

I'm just glad that Rolling Stone has layers of editors and professional fact checkers - all of whom must be bug nuts ignorant about firearms to let this dreck pass through as an actual "news" article.

Even scarier, many a Rolling Stone reader is now busy nodding their heads sagely about the dangers of these particular guns.

TBeck said...

They can have my .45-70 derringer when they pry it from my broken, bleeding fingers!

Scotty said...

Ooh! I wanna play:

Types of state leaders most likely to kill their own citizens:
1. Communists
2. Socialists
3. Fascists
4. Liberals
5. Derringers

John A said...

Not going to give them a point in their site meter.

But "all guns are dangerous, and can even kill" is absolutely the same as "all rocks are dangerous, and can even kill." Ban rocks!

Or televisions. Not the shows (well, unless you can die of boredom) but the sets. A Chicago Tribune article last year mentioned that from November thru February five pre-school children died in Chi - one a month - when a family TV toppled on them. OK, not as many as killed by guns there in a weekend, but still, "save one child," right?

Oh yes, England has closed the "loophole" for antique firearms - seems someone managed to fire Great-grandpa's WWI souvenir of some pistol I'd never heard of using some caliber I'd never heard of, so now even match- and flint-locks are treated the same as, say, an Olympic target pistol (store and fire only with permission on a military base).

I hope they never watch Mythbusters©, especially the one in which they construct a cannon of ducktape and use matchheads to generate the propellant gases. I am also reminded of a prison break of decades back using the hollow leg of a bed as a shotgun barrel - to which the response was to replace inmate's beds with solid-leg bunks.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Well, we are talking about a Rag that thinks Mickey Bloomberg is the Greatest Gun Expert since JMB.

BTW, what DOES Colorado do with those Highway Funds they get from the Feds, since they don't seem to have any roads?

Kristophr said...

The most dangerous fish in the Americas:

1. Sharks
2. Sharks
3. Shark-nado
4. Piranhas
5. Sharks

Rob K said...

I'm still not sure that piece wasn't contracted out to the Onion.

Leatherwing said...

She identifies herself as a misandrist, so maybe English is not her native language.

Ted N said...

Smells like bong water, everytime I see a Rolling Stone link. Funny, that.

Critter said...

I helped in the comments. :)

Scott said...

Who is the most dangerous guitarist?

Rick Derringer...

Grayson said...

Rolling Stone magazine is still being published?

I thought they went the way of the dinosaur when Hunter S. Thompson croaked!