Friday, April 02, 2010

Rejoice, Comrades! The Five Year Plan has been met!

The nomenklatura will be receiving the first electro-ZiLs from Autograd soon!
The first customer for the upcoming Chevrolet Volt also happens to be its largest investor: the Obama administration.

The White House said Wednesday that the government will "purchase the first 100 plug-in electric vehicles to roll off American assembly lines" before the end of the year. The Volt, which GM describes as an extended range electric vehicle, is the only model fitting that description.
Should a member of the lumpenproletariat wish to hamper himself with one of these drab people-movers, however, he's still sierra oscar lima; there's no firm word as to when regular "civilian sales" will commence, so we're stuck with our old-fashioned rear-wheel-drive gasoline burners for now. Bummer.


Anonymous said...

Большие приветственные восклицания утехи для работников! Победа!

This is double plus good. And, did you hear, the choco ration is being raised 5 grams.

Shootin' Buddy

Joanna said...

the choco ration is being raised 5 grams.

Jesus wept. Don't even joke, man.

Seriously, at the rate things are going, we'll be lucky if we're not all riding old-fashioned rear-wheel-drive thigh-fat burners, instead. After all, a healthy proletariat is a happy proletariat!

Anonymous said...


No, "Bimmer". Fixed it for ya.

"I think I could live with this car for another 50,000 miles with no complaints."

Three and a half years down the road so to speak, I'm guessing that 50K is on the clock now. Complaints?


Tam said...

Only when it snows.

I might need a new top before too long, too.

Andy said...

If someone makes a car that's a thigh-fat burner, this nation would be happy indeed.

I did a full electric conversion (well, with 3 others) of a diesel Rabbit in school *mumble* years ago. After mating the electric motor to the VW tranny, we could stick it in 5th gear and go from standstill to somewhere north of 50 thanks to the torque curve of the motor. I say, somewhere north of 50 as we ran out of parking lot to top it out. I do wish we had gotten a Karmann Ghia like one of the other teams, but the Rabbit did make battery compartments easier.

In an urban environment, I can see something like that as being handy. One typically doesn't commute far, it's got space for the groceries, you don't have to fight traffic to get into the Quicktrip. Save the fuel burner for the weekend. Tam can say the same about her bicycle, I guess, though the Volt wins in bad weather.

Battery maintenance is a future cost(we used deep cycle marine batteries on the Rabbit), but battery research is making that better all the time.

OA said...

I still haven't had it sufficiently explained to me how coal burning cars are better for the environment (or my power bill, for that matter).

Boat Guy said...

'Cause we serfs aren't supposed to make the connection between "electric" cars and where the electricity comes from...
"Coal powered" is truth in advertising, not exactly this administration's strong suit

Joanna said...

"Thigh-fat burner" means "bicycle", which I'm trying to work up the guts to ride to work in the mornings. The trick is getting past that last high-traffic area without turning into a long, red smear on the pavement.

And do these hippies seriously not realize that electric cars still use energy? And that energy has to come from somewhere?

Starik Igolkin said...

Take it from someone who has driven most of Soviet passenger cars: if your analogy holds with regard to quality, reliability and safety, having those available only to the government will be a good thing. And if those are the only cars available to the government, we'll have smaller government in no time ;)

Andy said...

Yarg. I should have guessed that. Never post before coffee, I reckon.

I don't mean to say an electric car is a perfect vehicle. TANSTAAFL after all, one is merely just changing the problem.

It is, however, easier to find multiple sources of electricity, and some places are better situated than others. For example, Iceland, where over 99% of electricity is geothermal and hydroelectric (never mind their own economic collapse, this is Science at work!).

Weer'd Beard said...

"the government will "purchase the first 100 plug-in electric vehicles to roll off American assembly lines"

I mean technically didn't the government "purchase" all of these little coal cars when they bought GM, and this presser is simply saying they'll be retaining ownership rather than sell them to the unwashed masses?

Mikee said...

Just out of curiousity, how does teh EPA count electric car performance when determining fleet vehickellish "gas mileage" for CAFE standards?

And is there some number of cars, say 100 or so, that must be sold for a model to be counted amongst the fleet for CAFE standards? And if your hybrid or electric car gets a gazillion miles per gallon of gas (or lump of coal) can you then continue selling your Earthfu**er SUVs, which are actually in high demand despite their 15mpg fuel consumption?

Just asking, because I never can bring myself to think of the Obama administration acting in an altruistic manner.

And who will be forced to use the deathtraps with no gas mileage? I bet it won't be anyone above the rank of the lowliest House staff intern. More likely they will be sent out as part of the federal police equipment supplement....

D.W. Drang said...

Just out of curiousity, how does teh EPA count electric car performance when determining fleet vehickellish "gas mileage" for CAFE standards?
Google it, there was a minor scandal--in the libertarian/conservative blogs, at least, the leftosphere ignored it--because the EPA was using some BS formula that gave them something like "2500-equivalent MPG."
IOW, some .gov drone pulled a number out of his forth point of contact.

perlhaqr said...

Uncle has his new tactical car, I have my old one. Colander not included. ;)

His is getting quite a bit better gas mileage, though... :(

2yellowdogs said...

Briskly, full speed ahead. Complete 5 year commitments in 4 years.

Means, don't be a counter-revolutionary slacker, Tam!

Anonymous said...

I just wanna see one cross Terlingua Creek with water above the headlights.

Possibly a shocking experience...


RWC said...

"We're going to lead by example and practice what we preach: cutting waste, saving energy and reducing our reliance on foreign oil, all benefits of a transport powered by hope and change and unicorn farts" Obama said.

WV - riversi - what this administration needs to do a helluva lot of

Sigivald said...

I believe the reason the State is buying the Volts is that (relatively speaking) nobody else will, given their price and capabilities.

It's to cover for how shitty the product GM's been hyping for years is, rather than Soviet-style taking the goodies for the Apparatchiks.

(They'll all be going into the motor pool, I bet, where I imagine they'll be avoided wherever possible.)

(Yes, some hippies will lust for anything "electric" because they're brainwashed. But, still... meh. I can't get my Soviet up over this.

It combines "buy American even if it sucks" fever with "look at how GREEN we are!" posturing, both of which are too ordinary, tiresome, and still relatively harmless...)

John A said...

"The Volt, which GM describes as an extended range electric vehicle, is the only model fitting that description."

Gosh, what a coincidence!

Now to find a Tweety and Sylvester cartoon that shows Granny's electric runabout.

Tam said...


That was intended to be the subtle message sent by my choice of links... ;)

GuardDuck said...

"It combines "buy American even if it sucks" fever with "look at how GREEN we are!" posturing, both of which are too ordinary, tiresome, and still relatively harmless...)"

Ah, but when 'look at how green we are' posturing turns into 'look at how green we can force you to be' laws it's not very harmless anymore.

Anonymous said...

The govenment ain't buying those overpriced, underperforming battery bags, we taxpayers are. And considering the net loss of building battery packs, the cost of generating the 'trons to charge those packs, and the ultimate disposal problems when those battery packs have to be replaced, this display of the stupid is strong even for the ignos running the country at the moment.
Not to mention that we taxpeyers have already bought and paid for these things a year or so back.

monkeyfan said...

I had that "But where will all that 'lectric power come from" discussion with a lawyer friend last year who triumphantly claimed that we would all soon be flitting about in an electric car utopia thanks to the wonderful guiding hands of the Dems whose figurehead promised that "electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket" for the good of mankind.

He just couldn't seem to grok that the energy required by electric vehicles would also have to be produced by some means...And seeing as he and his fellow travelers were so adamantly against Nuclear power and caribou-killing snowbilly go juice, he and his fellow 'green Gaian heroes' would be replacing the evil oil infrastructure required by their BMWs with a certain existing power generating infrastructure. Only their new magic green infrastructure was really an old viable one vastly expanded to support their future coal-powered disposable earth-fucking battery packs on 12 inch wheels with all the advantages offered by half the range, inferior cockpit climate control - the use of which would drastically reduce range, burled nothing dashboards, and the need to retrofit their McMansions with yet another proprietary wall wart (with attendant charging jacks) that were a couple hundred times bigger and more expensive than any he has bought for any of his other IGadgets...Combined. Oh, and all that sweet earth loving coercive goodness was going to be financed by his tax bracket...And even so, only monied parasites suckling at the withered capitalist hind teat would be able to 'afford' any of it.

Pesky thermodynamics.

Linoge said...

Something tells me that, somehow, some way, I will manage to be happy with my gas-guzzling, Earth-humping, hard-riding, nowhere-near-efficient monstrosity.

But something tells me that was part of your point ;).

At any rate, my car is green, so I am good to go!