Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Nuh-uh. No way. Not for love nor money.


Observe the AP photo to the right. See that "U"-shaped gizmo? Do you know what that is? That, my friend, is a big ol' aluminum catwalk with a glass floor that sticks out over the Grand Canyon. When I say "sticks out", I mean like some seventy feet. And when I say "Grand Canyon", I mean a four-thousand foot deep hole in the ground.


The (Hualapai) tribe will include access to the deck in a variety of tour packages ranging from $49.95 to $199.00. They'll allow up to 120 people at a time to look down to the canyon floor more than 4,000 feet below, a vantage point more than twice as high as the world's tallest buildings.


Nope. No way. Not Mrs. K.'s child. The Hualapai couldn't pay me $49.95 to $199 to get out there. I'm light-headed just looking at that thumbnail on my screen. I'd rather juggle live rattlesnakes, or some other appropriately Southwestern vacation adventure thrill; at least if the rattler bites you, you don't plummet four thousand feet to your doom, screaming the whole way down. For all I know the crafty Hualapai are just waiting for me to get all the way out to the far end before they blow the explosive bolts and send me to the canyon floor for some 19th Century territorial slight that I had nothing to do with.

Brr.

The things some folks find fun...

32 comments:

Marko said...

I'm kind of anticipating a very entertaining future news event centered around the spectacular failure of that structure.

Something about the image of a hundred-odd loudly-dressed overweight tourists plummeting to the bottom of the Grand Canyon in a cacophony of screams gives me the chuckles.

Ambulance Driver said...

ROFLMAO...

Tam's afraid of heights! Who woulda thunk it?

Kevin said...

Who's taking bets on how long it is before the first suicide by jumping over the glass barrier?

And how long before the first BASE jumper takes a header?

Or am I repeating myself?

Ahab said...

Oh man, that looks AWESOME. I would definitely do that...while my wife waited patiently on solid ground.

LawDog said...

Oh, hell no.

3yellowdogs said...

That's OK, go ahead and call me a wuss. There isn't any way in HE\_\_ you're going to get me on that thing. Certainly not without at least a harness and rope firmly secured to something on terra firma.

Nothing gives me the willies more than heights.

Dang.

B&N said...

Tam,

Kind of strange that you are acrophobic considering your predilections toward personal transportation, i.e. crotch rockets.

Jumpers, either suicidal or adrenaline junkies? Sure.

Deaths? Of course.

Structural failure? Highly unlikely, but anything is possible given the right, or in this case, excessive parameters.

Me? No way in HELL you are getting me on that thing.

BobG said...

I like flying in aircraft, but if I walked out on that my vertigo would kick in and I would probably have a stroke on the spot.

steelghost said...

Sounds like fun. Wish they had said it was polymide laminated glass though. That's one of the types of bullet resistant glass. However three inches if etched is enough to support around 25 lbs per square inch, most commerial floors are rated at 100 lbs per foot^2, is think, been a few years and my memory isn't perfect. I suspect everyone will be asked to take off their shoes, so that a stress nothing cracks/scratches the surface.

steelghost said...

Crap, got to quit typing when hungry. should have been: "is think" = "I think"; and "a stress" was supposed to be deleted. sorry about the lousy english.

phlegmfatale said...

seeing nothing but 4000 feet of empty air below my feet is not my ideer of a good time.

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, that's a three-screamer at least! Actually though, the deck scares me less than the thought of what that 14-mile dirt road leading in might be like. Driving on the edge of shit like that scares me way more than walking on it.
Seriously though, it seems that they could make even more money by providing, for an additional $20, a harness and 100 feet of Bluewater II connected to a serious anchor, a short distance back from the deck. That, I could handle.

Tracy

Kit said...

You'd probably get bored of screaming long before you hit the ground. Not that that's a recommendation try it. ;)

Rabbit said...

I'm not keen on heights anymore, since I saw a guy bounce while rappeling near him off some cliffs several years ago.

They should have a cleanup crew nearby with plenty of disenfectant if anyone blindfolded me, walked me out there, and tugged off the blinders. Liquid stool makes a mess.

To quote Ron White, the odds of me encountering such a tourist trap are 'bulllsheeeeit'.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Brian said...

As you walk out onto the catwalk, just keep murmuring to yourself...

"Lowest Bidder. Lowest Bidder..."

Anonymous said...

steelghost,
It appears from pics that they make you wear surgical type booties over your shoes.
http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20070321/i/r2312657394.jpg?

Brian said...

Glass floor: nice touch.

Nate said...

They want 50 bucks to go out there? Nope, sorry. I'd go out there, in a minute, and by myself while the BSU sat in the truck. But I wouldn't pay 50 bucks for the privilege.

Brandon said...

Not this overweight tourist, nosirree. I'll throw rocks from the edge of the canyon or fly a 30-year-old Cessna through it, but I ain't walking through that thing.

BobG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BobG said...

f you want to go out on places like that, try driving on a little road called Schaeffer Trail outside of Moab, Utah; driving it scared the hell out of me even when I was younger and dumber.

One view

Another view

Hobie said...

I'll be standing in one of the support buildings, NOT on that thing.

Anonymous said...

Bobg, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Ain't no DAMN way I'm driving or (especially) riding on that road. Walking maybe; in a vehicle, HELL no!

Tracy

BTW, I've been to Moab a few times too, but I stay away from the edge roads.

Anonymous said...

Lemme see if I remember the math from back when I was jumping...

Hmmm,4,000 feet drop; it takes 1,500 feet to reach terminal velocity in about 15 seconds,

now we have 2,500 feet left at terminal at about 6 seconds per 1,000 feet, thats, um, another 15 seconds.

So 30 seconds to hit bottom. Try looking at 30 seconds go by on your watch, and think of watching the canyon floor coming up at you that long.

Least you'd have time to say your prayers...

Anonymous said...

There is a *BIG* business opportunity here. Think suicidal lefties, hippies (redundant?), and other assorted social reprobates. It's on Indian land so it shouldn't have to obey White Man's Law.

$50/jump times millions of jumpers. Do the math. Gold mine!

And the rest of us get more space, cleaner air, less global warming, no Patchouli oil & BO stinking up town square when said feebs march around like indignant zombies.

Priceless!

Homer said...

Hmmmm.... $50-$200 to walk out to the end and back. Is there a 50% discount if you go only one way?

I think Anonymous may be on to something. Installing a coin operated gate to a diving board at the end might be a money maker.

Anonymous said...

Tracy,
The wife and I went out to Grand Canyon West during a trip to LV last year. The long drive on the dirt road doesn't go anywhere near the canyon, so no worries there.

Unlike the South Rim, there are no railings at the canyon edge anywhere at GCW, so anyone wanting to base jump or just plain off themselves wouldn't need to bother with the extra expense of going out on the skywalk.

I'll take the "danger" of the skywalk tour over the 40mph winds and sleet we experienced out there - nearly got blown into the canyon. 8^)

Diamondback said...

I just waiting for the first group of teenagers to go out there and start jumping up and down.

Anonymous said...

Would me explosively $h1tt1ng myself cause a stress fracture?

And would I have to pay for the ruined booties they fit you with?

There'd be no stopping it. That's the scariest, dumbest thing I've ever seen. I just hope they get video when the damn thing hurtles to the bottom.

Anonymous said...

Oh look! A new place to go base jumping...

db

Kim du Toit said...

That thunderous roar you hear in the background is The Mrs.

Kim du Toit said...

...applauding Tam's words.