Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Now that's just creepy.

93 pounds of underthings. Ninety-three pounds.

Wrap your head around that for a moment. When I schlep two weeks worth of laundry to the wash-'n'-fold, straining at its giant Hefty bag, and they throw it on the scale, it comes out to somewhere between fifteen and twenty pounds, blue jeans and SIGTac cargo pants included. And it doesn't include underthings, thankyouverymuch. I'd rather wash those by hand in the sink than force some poor stranger to handle my unmentionables.

Apparently, though, there are some folks who really enjoy handling stranger's unmentionables; enough so that they run around stealing them from apartment laundromats.
Police found enough underwear in his bedroom to fill five garbage bags, Tennant said.

"He said he had a problem," Tennant said.
No kidding he had a problem.

The thing that creeps me out about it is its very alienness. I mean why...? What...? Just... eewww! All manner of bizarre scenarios pop unbidden into the head. "It puts the Woolite in the sink, and then it puts it in the basket." When someone clipped my favorite Nine Inch Nails tour tee shirt from the laundromat I was simply pissed, but I understood why: It was a cool tee shirt, and some amoral scumbag wanted to wear it. Had it been underthings, though... well, ick.
The underwear will be held as evidence until the case is resolved, after which their disposition is uncertain, Tennant said.

"Would you really want them back?" he asked. "I would say not."
Uh, no thanks. You can keep 'em. Vickie's Secret is always having a sale, so I'll just go get some, er,... untainted ones, 'kay?

What kind of world is it when you have to guard your laundry to keep some perv from making off with your underwear?


theirritablearchitect said...

"It does what it's told and it puts the lotion in the basket"

Silence of the Lambs

I laugh at that little bit every time I hear it. Sick, but funny.

lizbeast said...

Eww. Sadly, that guy probably has a clueless girlfriend who dismissed his fettish as a "quirk". Sick sick sick.

BobG said...

I have this feeling that most of the women in the apartment building where he lives are suddenly feeling the need for a hot shower to feel clean. And when you think that he probably sorted through a lot more their skivvies looking for "the right one", a lot of them are probably considering throwing out all their underwear and buying all new stuff.

Dr. StrangeGun said...


THERE's the really creepy music video I was talking about....

Anonymous said...

"...from making off with your underwear."

Didn't you mean, "making it with your underwear?"

Tam said...

Y'know, I was so trying not to go there.

Anonymous said...

I'm having an interesting mental picture, well maybe interesting is the wrong word. You suppose he'll get prison time? How much underwear do you have to steal to rate a felony. I can see it now, Cellmate question: "what're you in for?" You answer: "Felony Woman's Underwear Theft" Why do I think prison isn't gonna be fun for this guy?

Alcibiades said...

Stealing?! How unethical!

He should've just bought used panties on the internet like the rest of us.

JeanC said...

The really creepy thing is it happened in the town next door to me :P


Makes me so glad I have my own washer and drier and I always used the laudromat at the mall when I was apartment living.

Anonymous said...

What is really sick - men's underwear would disapear from the laudry rooms on every Army post I was stationed at.

They always faded out of the washer, never out of the dryer, and at times stuff never made it into the washing machine.
This was all " boy on boy" action at that!
Not sure I wanted to know which one of my baracks mates were into my dirty laundry.