Thursday, March 29, 2007

Slow fuse burning.

It no longer seems radical to say this: There's a crash coming. All manner of behavior is getting excused by the widening political schism in our fair land, and most of it goes without any official censure.

When I first learned to drive, I was terrified of freeways. One of the very first times I attempted to merge into traffic, the driver to my left wouldn't give way. I still remember the crunch of gravel under the tires as my lane gave out and I rolled onto the shoulder, guardrail looming ahead as I got on the brakes. This is the real reason I've always driven fast cars since then; not because I'm some cool speed demon, but because I was never going to get trapped like that again.

It may happen to some kid today because she has the wrong bumper sticker.

Christian Trejbal of the Roanoke Times, whose best-known gaffe thus far was comparing me to a convicted sex offender, has now surpassed himself. In a recent editorial he confessed to a laundry list of mental disorders: passive-aggressive behavior, projection, and serious anger issues among them. You see, that teenage girl grinding to a halt in a spray of gravel on the shoulder of a Virginia highway today may be doing so because the hilariously misnomered "Christian" didn't like her choice of bumperstickers,
If a vehicle sports one of those ironically misguided fish-eating-the-fish-with-feet, forget it.
or maybe he doesn't like the Explorer her parents bought her for graduation because they thought their daughter might be safer in a larger vehicle,
I treat them just like the gas-guzzling, road-hogging sport utility vehicles I find equally morally bankrupt: I don't yield to them.
When a grown man can, in public, describe his snits of politically-motivated road rage and remain not only employed, but insured, then the crack in the body politic is past the fix-it-with-Krazy-Glue stage. The best part is where he states "I assume people of all political persuasions follow similar driving maxims, even if subconsciously." No, Christian, only crazy people do that. Crazy Democrats, crazy Republicans, crazy Greens, crazy Libertarians: If you're out there taking out your political frustrations by playing tag with total strangers in two tons of high-speed steel your sanity is, to put it bluntly, highly questionable.

At least there's one silver lining in this dark cloud: Just remember, Mr. Trejbal, during your next joust with some "morally-bankrupt" SUV, the following bit of doggerel I learned in driver's ed. Maybe they never taught it to you. It goes like this,
"Here lies the body of old John J.
Who died maintaining his right of way.
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong."

(H/T to Ravenwood.)


Anonymous said...

There's a word for this tool. No, not idiotic, though that applies too. Petty. Driving rudely just because of some disagreement with the perceived views of someone you've never met is downright petty.

I have two primary goals when driving. Trying not to die is fairly obvious, but the more important one to me is not to kill anyone else. Apparently our columnist is quite happy to run the risk of someone someday ending up dead because he didn't like their bumper sticker and blocked them.

Screw petty, that is crazy.

Anonymous said...

The craziest libertarian driver I've ever known of was a guy who was in the habit of tossing a "sig heil" out the window at passing cop cars.

Lame? Yep.

Stupid? Ayuh.

Harmless to others? Hue betchum.

This Trejbal guy's a menace.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

I wonder what his column will read like after someone yields *through* his car.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed that some people, usually driving tiny shit-cars plastered with leftist bumper stickers, go out of their way to cut me off in my old SUV. When I give the wheel a hard jerk in their direction, they ALWAYS back the hell off.


Yosemite Sam said...

What is particularly silly is that Trejbal voluntarily lives in a rather conservative part of Virginia. If it annoys him so much, he is free to move somewhere more to his liking.

When I moved to the Northeast from Texas, I took it as a given that I would be living among and working with people with whom I might vehemently disagree.

I see bumper stickers every day that I find silly and somewhat objectionable. But all I do is shake my head or chuckle and continue on my way. I once thought that this attitude was standard practice with most adult people. If Trejbal is typical, I may have been mistaken.

SpeakerTweaker said...

He gonna end up dead. Not if; when. Because, simply, he's forgotton one thing: there's a good chance that there's someone else out there with their head just as far up their @$$ with exactly the opposite political views as his, and that guy ain't gonna yield, either.

Or maybe he'll get lucky and just take himself out of the gene pool one day.

Was that harsh? It sounded harsh.


Rob K said...

This makes my miss my `87 K5 Blazer.

And I think the Xian fish eating the Darwin fish is kinda' funny; certainly no more stupid or lame than the Darwin fish.

Anonymous said...

If you want to up the degree of difficulty, try making the daily commute with a SCV license plate.

Ambulance Driver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

So what is this idiot going to cut off SUV's with?

A Honda hybrid? Or some other green skateboard?

Unknown said...

Like the dealer ad brochure for the (real) Hummer says: "Never underestimate the power of intimidation."

Anonymous said...

I was reminded of this video when I saw Christian's latest scribblings.

Christian is living (for the time being, that is) proof that Liberals are incapable of realizing that some choices lead to success and some choices lead to failure. Every serious student of the Liberal psyche should see this video. Twice. It's worth every minute of your time.

Christopher said...

That's why he hates guns; he's not able to be responsible and hence doesn't believe that others can.

Anonymous said...

Alex - interesting video. I think I'll have to think about that. Is this a valid summary?

Thesis One: Equality of Outcome is desirable, as it's fair.
Thesis Two: It's Not Right to judge differences
Conclusion: In order to meet both theses, I must tear down successful behaviors and support unsuccessful behaviors, so as to preserve diversity and maintain fairness. Or in his language "support the evil and denounce the good."

Is that a fair summary?

Anyhow, to the author.. ugh. What a nutcase. Thing is, I prolly drive not to far from him sometimes (southwest VA).... now I'm thinking about finding another of those "Peace through superior firepower" stickers. :D

And yeah... next time he gets in an accident, he's gonna get absolutely raped in court. Poor thing.. "sow the wind...."

Goldwater's Ghost said...

rob got there before I could...I miss my '86 K5 Blazer...something about actual steel bumpers that makes folks shy away from cutting you off in traffic.

Now, if I wasn't married with kids, I'd still have it, and right about now I'd have the money for upgrades...350ci engine, lift kit, bigger tires, winch, and some 'fog lamps' at just the right height to blind Prius drivers from behind.

OldeForce said...

Heartless: Mine was a '78 full-size Ford van. Looked like the plumber's truck, but made up as a camper inside. 351 truck motor, 4-speed manual trans, and two 9 inch driving lights above my [steel] bumper. They'd go right across the top of the trunk of a full-size sedan - and light up the inside of said car even at high noon. Rarely had trouble merging into traffic. Kaylee: Right! His words will come back to bite him - I can only hope.

Jay.Mac said...

Trejbal's kind of thinking isn't exactly isolated-

"Back in 2004, when Bush seemed to win the Presidential election for the first time, I made a vow. It was that in future years, if I happened to see an elderly homeless person holding out his hat, I would lean down and ask him who he voted for in 2004. If he said "Bush", I planned to step over him and walk on."

-From The Huffington Post

Jay.Mac said...

Just caught this- Rosie *spit* O'Donnell and co. on The View- not only her comments but the applause of the audience when talking about 9/11, the War on Terror and Iran.
The gap between left and right in the US (and the world) is light years wide now.

Anonymous said...

I drive a 1991 Explorer. When I put on the blinker to indicate I'm merging and the driver behind me in the lane I'm moving into speeds up to prevent my moving over, I move over anyway. On I5 / I405 (near Seattle) this happens a couple of times a month. I have yet to find anybody whose desire to be rude was not exceded by their desire to NOT have dents in their car.

The person trying to cut me off is almost always driving a small car of recent vintage. No idea why people try this kind of crap, but I'm not one to passively accept rudeness.

Anonymous said...

Tam, you forgot "crazy asshole."

On the upside, next time he's in an accident, the other party will have some outstanding evidence to use against him in the lawsuit.

Draven said...

Here's my response to his little tirade- odds are, they won't publish it....

Mr. Trejbal....

I'd like to recommend any of the several very good universities in the immediate area around Roanoke to you. It seems in your previous education you missed a few classes that are vital to someone working in your field- namely, a class on the subset of economics called 'demographics'.

Specifically, you should see if one of these fine universities offers a course that covers the demographics of the region that your employer is based in.

Recently, you've managed to shoot yourself in the foot and then run over it with an SUV while somehow keeping it inserted firmly in your mouth.

And people like you working in dead tree media seem to be unable to understand why your circulation figures are headed into the toilet bowl and out the plumbing into the septic tank of the economy.

tsk, tsk.