10. Muslim converts on Easter.
Okay, I can see why this is being watched: A vocal anti-jihadist gets rather publicly baptized by the Pope hisownself. Pretty newsish.
9. China puts out its Tibet version.
We all do want to hear China's rationale for going all Tienanmen on the world's leading exporters of hippie philosophy and general Shirley MacLainery.
8. Pregnant woman tortured to death.
Gruesome, but it definitely has the "If it bleeds, it leads" thing going on in spades.
7. Former radical back in prison.
A clerical error that lets someone out of prison... whoops! ...a whole year early because of a typo is news in anybody's book.
6. Pope celebrates Mass in thunderstorm...
And isn't electrocuted, which I suppose we can take as a good annual evaluation from his boss. Lots of Catholics on the planet, which explains lots of eyeballs for this story.
5. Troops kill shaved militants.
I don't care how prudish you are, you clicked on this headline. You know you did.
4. Man goes on stabbing spree at mall.
He must have noticed the "No Guns Allowed" signs. Definitely news.
3. Richardson: Speech key to support.
A Friend Of Bill's jumping ship to Obama Nation in the middle of the campaign is pretty noteworthy. Lots of eyeballs will follow that.
2. Sailors trapped in sunken ship.
Ongoing drama! Sailors trapped in Davy Jones' locker! Heroic rescue attempts underway! Look!
But the number one most clicked-on, most popular, most eyeball-grabbing bit on CNN right now, in the midst of calamitous shipwrecks, tortured moms, shaved militants, missing felons, and presidential politics?
1. J.K. Rowling: I considered suicide.
Sigh. Y'know what? I'm suddenly considering it, too.