Tuesday, December 16, 2008

L'audace, l'audace, toujours l'audace!

Okay, suppose you've violated your probation by doing a whole mess of dope, and your probation officer calls you in for a whiz quiz. You just know for a fact that you burned a hole in the bottom of the cup, but the sample is safe in the P.O.'s locked chain-of-custody fridge, for which you do not have a key.

What would you do? I mean, if you were in that situation, and also a complete moron?

Why, you'd break in and steal the whole locked fridge, of course!

I mean, it's not like that would provide them with a nice, short suspect list or anything; no need to call out CSI: Alachua County for this particular case of appliance theft.

Ten out of ten for boldness and daring, but minus several thousand for proper flowcharting.

9 comments:

Matt G said...

I thought about that, too. And daring? Man. At some point over the weekend, there was a probationer that committed a burglary, loaded up a refrigerator on a dolly, wheeled that 'fridge through the probation office out to his waiting pickup, and loaded it into his pickup before driving away.

I kinda have a hunch that the actor had an accomplice, or at least a Tommy Lift.

I also would really like to get a copy of the recording of the BOLO.

Somerled said...

Well, maybe he is another one of those ex-Disney child stars who's addicted to cocaine and heroin.

No doubt Chairman Obama has included erecting enough rehab centers to truly help such misfortunates in his list of public works initiatives.

BobG said...

"...and this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?"

rickn8or said...

Didn't think that one all the way through, did he?

og said...

You can tell this was not a geek. A geek would have drilled two holes in the fridge, used a borescope to find the offending sample, used a syringe and tubing to empty the contents, and replace them with uncontaminated... contents.

Not that I would know about anything like that, nuh uh.

Sidenote: Being the only person in my company who neither drinks nor does any kind of drugs, I'm often tapped by the.... less scrupulous to provide... samples. I do not participate in ths behavior. They do keep asking. Who knew ANYTHING that came out of me would be in ANY demand?

Now go get a hook and jam it up your nose and kill those brain cells.

Mike W. said...

I love stupid criminals!

Anonymous said...

Just tip the safe over so all the samples spill, and mix.

CAR said...

Why do you think they call it dope?

HTRN said...

Og, your hypothesis is a little off.

Geeks are into lockpicking in a big way, and shimming open a padlock is childs play if you know how.