Thursday, May 07, 2009

I am but an egg.

My fantasy boyfriend was apparently in fine fettle in Sydney the other night:
America has wound up with a charming leftist as a president. And this scares me. This scares me not because I hate leftists. I don't. I have many charming leftist friends. They're lovely people — as long as they keep their nose out of things they don't understand. Such as making a living.

When charming leftists stick their nose into things they don't understand they become ratchet-jawed purveyors of monkey-doodle and baked wind. They are piddlers upon merit, beggars at the door of accomplishment, thieves of livelihood, envy coddling tax lice applauding themselves for giving away other people's money. They are the lap dogs of the poly sci-class, returning to the vomit of collectivism. They are pig herders tending that sow-who-eats-her-young, the welfare state. They are muck-dwelling bottom-feeders growing fat on the worries and disappointments of the electorate. They are the ditch carp of democracy.

"Envy coddling tax lice..."

Swoon.


(H.T. to G.R. Durand.)

21 comments:

Kristopher said...

Both barrels of O'Rourke ... tasty.

B Smith said...

Although I hesitate to use the term "man-crush", I'll make a rare exception for O'Rourke...MUAH !!

Anonymous said...

Very nicely done, though the 50 percent below average quip always bugs me (statistics fail, etc)

Steve said...

P.J. O'Rourke lives in the next town over from me. I finally met him last fall. He helped us spread some gravel for a Trailhead parking lot in town. He looks like a regular local on his tractor.

Marko and Mark Steyn are both in the same corner of the state. Must be something in the water here in NH.

atlharp said...

Hey Tam,

Email him, he might send you a pin up! LOL!

In all fairness he had me at "returning to the vomit of collectivism."

Maybe you can get a calender of him like the Jonas Brothers....

Tam said...

I want to be his padawan learner... :D

atlharp said...

Here's some more beefcake for ya!

Sizzlin'

LOL! Enjoy...

reflectoscope said...

Women want him and men want to be him.

Jim

mts1 said...

I've been reading PJ since the 1980's when he still wrote for Rolling Stone. He is the best non-fiction writer alive, for my opinion. Why? He always boils down what takes other writers a chapter to say into a two or three sentence anecdote. Last month, I just re-read his economic book Eat the Rich.

Who else on earth can make a book on economics both understandable and entertaining?

rickn8or said...

Can you imagine the writing of P.J. O'Rourke and Ann Coulter's love child?

Noah D said...

Always loved his stuff. Holidays in Hell, Modern Manners, Republican Party Reptile ('pants-down Republican' :) ). It's been a real treat reading his stuff as he gets older.

Jason said...

That is awesome Tam, thanks for sharing.

OrangeNeckInNY said...

"The US Government is going to take over the American car industry. I can predict the result - a light-weight, compact vehicle with a small carbon footprint using sustainable alternative energy. When I was a kid we called it a bike."

Now, that's funny right there.

pax said...

It is funny.

It's also more likely to be a Trabant. Only not delivered as quickly.

Bob said...

He had his invective mojo working for this one, it wasn't phoned in.

Thanks for linking it, Tam.

BryanP said...

I have this sudden urge to dig out my copy of Modern Manners and reread it.

Nathan Brindle said...

He's the best. And that's a fact.

J.R.Shirley said...

Pretty good. I don't know that I agree with this statement (though it's a commonly repeated "fact"): "Fifty per cent of people are below average in intelligence."

I'd have to see the metrics, but I don't believe this to be the case. I believe less than 50% are below the mean, because the IQs of a relative few (are so incredibly low, lower than virtually any genius is high) drag the average down.

Anyway, minor quibble.

John

Breda said...

HEY! He's MY imaginary boyfriend!

nbc said...

Ooh, girl-fight.

Time to fill the pool with jelly...

wv: robiting (how does google know?)

Carl H said...

I always buy old O'Rourke books when I see 'em. Then give them away to recent college grads and other deserving noobs. The poor young sods just left 16 years of mollycoddle and haven't had anyone really challenge their carefully spoonfed PC view of the world yet.

Makes me feel like I'm sowing dragon's teeth.