Friday, February 26, 2010

The Health Department has issued a Smug Alert:

Slow Children At Play, Slow Cars In Park:
I drove by a new public building in our county the other night, looking the place over when I had a few minutes to kill. The first TWO ROWS of parking were posted. Not handicap. Not "county vehicles"... but "LEV/Fuel Efficient Vehicle Parking ONLY".
I suppose there has to be some sort of consolation prize for diving the sluggish little penalty boxes, else people wouldn't do it; it must be the big box of finger-wagging self-righteousness that comes with the car.

30 comments:

Carteach0 said...

I'd like to see the definitions they assign to those terms. I'd also like to see a lawsuit about equal access to government services for tax payers.

That would be a fun ticket to fight in court! I kind of wish I lived there, and had a big 'ol SUV to park there.

Weer'd Beard said...

I'd Totally park my pickup in one of those! for a 1/4 ton pickup with 200 HP it's REALLY fuel efficient!

JayG's Hemi-Ram also gets damn good mileage on the highway when you think of what a monster that thing is!

Nathan said...

And the lefties accuse conservatives of fomenting class war. Tsk, tsk.

Turk Turon said...

From The Simpsons...

Lisa has gone to some sort of environmental confab where she meets some Hollywood enviro-types:

Lisa: Hey, You're Ed Begley, Jr! Is that your new solar-powered car?

Begley: I've gone beyond solar. My new car is powered by my own inflated sense of self-esteem.

wv: zoomm

Swear to God!

Robb Allen said...

If we could only recycle sanctimony...

B said...

As a licensed Professional Engineer and a Leadership in Energy & Environmental Design (LEED) Accredited Professional, I can tell you exactly why they dedicate the first two rows of spaces to hippie-mobiles.

The US Green Building Council (a not for profit group that makes money of issuing credentials) has developed the LEED rating system to evaluate the energy efficiency and sustainability of a building design. There are certain design prerequisites and many optional design features which earn points in the LEED rating system. A certain number of points is required for a building to be LEED Certified (they even get awarded a plaque to display in the lobby).

Of course, municipalities and other building owners are all over this chance to publicly brag about their green-ness like flies to a composting toilet.

One of the design elements that earns LEED points is dedicating at least 5% of the parking spaces to "low-emitting and fuel-efficient" vehicles and giving them priority locations.

Of course, these parking designations are not enforceable (like handicapped spots) unless such a restriction is written into the local code. The typical punishment for violators is a smug-laden note left under the wiper.

So there you have it.

Jay G said...

I would buy a 3500 Ram diesel and convert it to run on biofuel.

JUST BECAUSE.

A Texan said...

Hey, what county is that? I want to know so that I can avoid ever giving those obnoxious bastards running the place a single penny.

I'd love to park in one of those spaces with a Ford Earthfucker, errrr, uhhhh, Expedition and claim that when parked it IS a low emissions vehicle.

Seriously, I imagine that there's room there for a lawsuit. Doesn't that violate the Interstate Commerce Clause? Probably not, but it'd be fun to see the wacko Libs go nuts over having that very abused portion of the Constitution used against them for a change.

Newbius said...

Only LEV? Does this mean I get to park my "CARB-Certified ULEV" Acura TL there too? It really IS low emmission, even though it has >250 HP. Or, maybe the eco-weenies were trying for something a little less...normal?

Anonymous said...

Put a bumber sticker on your H2 that says:

This vehicle fueled by whale blubber. It's renewable energy!!

Gerry

Joanna said...

I guess you could count "cripplingly high levels of self-satisfaction" as a handicap ...

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

It makes me want a car powered by a radioisotope thermoelectric generator (RTG) just to watch the hippies go into full blown seizures from the competing knee-jerk reactions.

After all, it would be a zero-emissions electric vehicle, but it's that evil nuclear power (oh, horrors)!

Stuart said...

Jay G: Most diesels will run biodiesel without any mod. The diesel motor was origonally designed to run on peanut oil but my favorite is the guys who add a second tank along with a switch and run (filtered) reclaimed frier grease. It makes their truck smell like french fries. One of these days I want to pick up an old diesel and play... it sounds like fun.

s

theirritablearchitect said...

"there has to be some sort of consolation prize for diving the sluggish little penalty boxes, else people wouldn't do it; it must be the big box of finger-wagging self-righteousness that comes with the car."

B beat me to it. No doubt, I can point you to the LEED criteria.

What a god-awful piece of shit it is.

OA said...

Stuart, if one doesn't at least change the fuel lines biodiesel will eventually eat through them (unless they're designed for it). Also, if one doesn't remove the glycerin from the grease it will build up in the fuel system like plaque in one's arteries.

reflectoscope said...

This makes me want to park a LAV-25 on three or four of these spots, and leave it running.

Jim

perlhaqr said...

Does make me wonder if they'd try to ticket the TDI Jetta.

Skeptic said...

Someone beat me to it. This is all about LEED points:
You can expend effort to make the building more energy efficient.
You can use some sort of renewable system to make the development produce some of its own energy.
Or you can put symbolic signs on 1-in-20 parking spaces.

skeptic said...

perlhaqr -
AFAIK the only difference between the Californianized Ford Focus with the official PZEV sticker and the Ford Focus sold in the USA is the length of the warranty on the emissions system.
It would be a pity if the only reason you could be barred by local law from using the space would be because the vehicles sold in your region didn't have the right warrantee

Pathfinder said...

Reminds me of that great Simpsons episode where Ed Begley Jr. gets into his custom car powered only by his smug sense of self-satisfaction!

og said...

If I could make a car that runs on irritation I would be able to drive directly to the moon on just watching the evening news.

jeff said...

sweet! So once I get my Vette I can park right up front!

Kristopher said...

Jay G: Biodiesel?

Hell, run it on dead hippies.

Les Jones said...

LEV vehicles are actually pretty common. Darned near any Honda is LEV or even ULEV (ultra low emissions vehicle).

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I'll double park my SUV and leave the motor running. If I can, I'll triple park. PLEASE come to my hometown.

ToddG said...

Smart plan. Now my non-LEV, high-HP, low-MPG sport sedan will have to drive around the parking lot looking for a spot, polluting the air those smug Prius owners have to breathe.

tjbbpgobIII said...

When you go into a neighborhood that has a sign "Slow Children Playing" you know it's a white neighborhood.

ZerCool said...

(Thanks for the link-love, Tam!)

Ironically enough, this new building, with said signs... is, indeed, the County Health Department.

To the folks who referenced LEED - wasn't aware of that, thanks for the info!

Scott said...

As B said: "Of course, these parking designations are not enforceable (like handicapped spots) unless such a restriction is written into the local code."
Exactly. Ignore them.
Our regional drug store chain was bought by CVS about a year ago and remodeled to include these same parking slots. I park my truck in them all the time.
Not a peep from anyone.

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