Thursday, June 10, 2010

I did not know this.

There is an entire TeeWee series about the security force at the Mall of America entitled Mall Cops.

They have not yet covered Food Court Team Six, but I am awaiting the inevitable fast-roping rapid deployment of retail security specialists as soon as skaters are sighted.

This is maybe the most awesome thing that has ever been on television. Did you know that the elite Mall of America security force has its own bomb-sniffing Cocker Spaniel? I nearly lost continence at that point. I guess you had to be there...

22 comments:

Keads said...

I thought you were kidding, but link confirms. God help us!

What caliber for Food Court Team Six to kill the Sbarro's pizza?

Or bad clothes from the GAP?

TJP said...

How the hell do you train a Cocker spaniel to do anything but growl at old ladies and nip children?

Actually, that explains a lot about how the TSA selects suspect passengers.

Ken said...

Really? Our spaniel (cocker/Cavalier King Charles cross) is a durn love sponge, not to mention a cheese vacuum.

Justin Buist said...

Well, GunKid gets out of prison in a few months.

I wonder if they're hiring?

Grant Cunningham said...

Please, please, PLEASE let it star Gecko45 and his secret Ninja boots!

cryptical said...

About 10 or 12 years ago I used to spend a little time at the mall upstairs in the food court. The mall cops back then had a react squad of about 5 or 6 guys wearing dark coveralls and combat boots, with the pants legs bloused. Some big guys IIRC, and they invariably showed up about 5 minutes after any trouble ceased.

Montie said...

I had heard of this show, but I haven't yet seen it. I keep picturing Kevin James in my mind as I ponder its many plotline possibilities though.

RevolverRob said...

Those mall cops take their jobs seriously. They train hard, so you're safe inside the Mall of America.

To be honest, Mall Cops and Security guards scare the ever living crap out of me. It's FRIGHTENING that someone carries a gun with some pseudo-authoritarian badge, with handcuffs, and is authorized to use deadly force to prevent a theft in the mall.

The absolutely WORST encounters I've had with badge wearing people have been rent-a-cops. I've had to call REAL cops to keep the rent-a-cops at bay.

-Rob

maddmedic said...

Heh...I live 30 minutes away from Hugedale (All malls up here in the Twin Cites end with dale for some damn reason. Except for MOA)
I can attest from 1st hand experience as a visitor, customer and as medic whom responded to more calls then I care to think about in t hat damn place.
Them dudes are...ummmmm...errr...what was it Mom said if you can't say something bad...no thats not it....
Well anyhow they ranged from spectacularly stupid to arrogant, wannabe cops.
But a show? Well some pretty stupid and bizarre crap happens at that place and it is a good think Bloomington Police have a sub station there. Often saves the Mall Cop from themselves!!

D.W. Drang said...

I figure someone from Discovery Channel heard, er, read intertoobz gun peepul talking about Mall Ninjas and completely missed the joke...

Mr.Wolf said...

An English cop friend, some years ago, spent time on some sort of exchange with a West German police force. I don't remember all the details, but I vividly recall the look on his face when talking about the police dogs.
The official police dogs were (surprise) German Shepherds.
And the official plainclothes police dogs were Cocker Spaniels. (And, yes, all the villains knew it.)
I would have asked him if there was an official plainclothes police uniform at this point, but could never get him to stop laughing long enough to answer.
Ah,those zany, wacky, let-it-all-hang-out Germans!

Best wishes.

Divemedic said...

The plan is to take multiple .338 Lapua hits to the back while your partner lays down covering fire, IIRC. Aren't they using Duck tape to hold the second trauma plate in place?

Lissa said...

MALL NINJAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Anonymous said...

How does a cocker spanial alert to a bomb or dope detection?
Pee on the floor.

How does a cocker spanial give an all clear signal?
Pee on the floor.

They must have one hell of a dog handler and an endless supply of papertowels.

Gerry

Sarah said...

I always DID want to see Gecko45 preserve innocent mall shoppers' anal virginity on the job.

Tam said...

I was somewhat disappointed that nobody rescued the mayor's nephew on the episode I watched.

Crotalus (Don't Tread on Me) said...

So, "Paul Blart, Mall Cop" is the real deal, huh?

aczarnowski said...

Good lord. *shakes head*

I really need to ratchet up the "moving away" time table...

aczarnowski said...

BTW, RevolverRob, "security personnel" in MN carry under the same permit that the rest of us non-cops do. There's no special 007 card for those guys or anything; just pushing the envelope of citizens arrest, open carry (most just carry pepper spray that I've seen), and the use of presumed consent to arbitrary rules by being on the premises.

Anonymous said...

The "Mall Cops" in the show are trying to overcome the negative reactions from everyone's viewing of the "Paul Blart" movie -- and failing miserably.

B Woodman
III-per

George said...

Yes, many moons ago, I was a rent-a-cop (private investigator, process server et al)
I had a 2 year degree in Justice Studies, and was actually trained in laws of arrest, pistol use, etc. Sadly, most of these folks, then and now, are underpaid, undertrained, and undermotivated. Watch 'Armed and Dangerous'. I've actually worked with those guys!
Sadly, these guys get much of the same flak as cops, but many aren't armed, and have no backup, they just wear the target (badge).

Joat said...

If I knew when they were filming, it might make a good day for an Open Carry at the Stall of America day. Last I heard you get illegally detained and given a tour of the back rooms of the mall if your seen carrying there without a badge.