View From The Porch: Query:

Friday, June 18, 2010

Query:

Regular-sized zip-loc sammich baggies are really only sized for PB&J on Wonder Bread or balogna and mayo on Roman Meal. If you want a grown-up sandwich, say, deli-cut pastrami and swiss on seeded rye, you need the "XL"-sized zip-loc sammich baggies.

Given this fact, how come the Fresh Market only carries the one size, and it's the bitty ones?

27 comments:

Joanna said...: Because real sammich-makers use waxed paper and a frilly toothpick, punk.

/ducks and runs; 2:47 PM, June 18, 2010
Carteach said...: Because Fresh Market is a HIPPY market, and poly bags are too environmentally yucky poo poo.

Wrap your sammich in something biodegradable, like a lunch bag made of real hippy skin.; 3:06 PM, June 18, 2010
Stuart the Viking said...: Maybe it's because the scrawney hippie chicks at the fresh market couldn't eat an XL sized bag of that rabbit chow that they eat and, like most hippies, they can't think beyond their own frame of reference to see that others might want the XL sized bags. I blame a severe animal protien deficiency.

oh... as long as I'm insulting hippie chicks anyway... they smell funny too.

s; 3:49 PM, June 18, 2010
Tam said...: Fresh Market's really a lot more yuppie gourmet than vegan hippie, actually.; 3:58 PM, June 18, 2010
Joanna said...: Oh NO joke they are. It's like a vortex of smug.; 4:12 PM, June 18, 2010
Crucis said...: They want you to use waxed paper so that by the time you get home, the bread will either be soggy or dried out and likely to taste like sawdust.; 4:36 PM, June 18, 2010
Anonymous said...: "Because Fresh Market is a HIPPY market, and poly bags are for carrying your stash in." TFTFY; 4:47 PM, June 18, 2010
theirritablearchitect said...: ...'Cuz they're Commie Pinkos, and carrying the 20 mil, H-D, quart size, dual zip-loc bags for real food would negatively reflect upon the store, what with it being in the middle of hippie central, as you've previously described at length.; 5:09 PM, June 18, 2010
Mr.Wolf said...: They say that nothing on the internet is ever really lost. It just floats around 'out there' somewhere for ever.
It occurs to me that this blog will be wonderful material for a doctorate in a century or two. 'A Snapshot Of A Sane Woman In The Crazy Years', perhaps.
I love the singing hippy up the tree.
'Jayne Austen Book & Gun Club'. Damn, I wish I'd thought of that.
Then we get a Peanut Butter and Jelly (which is seedless jam, right?) sandwich.
Long pause for thought, with an ear cocked for the frantic hum of Lord Sandwich spinning in his grave.
Then, as if it doesn't have enough problems already, you take this poor sandwich and imprison it in non-permeable plastic, instead of wrapping it kindly in a large paper towel.
Can we have more snaps of the Book and Gun Club, please? They are all wearing the hat his mother knitted, and everything.

Best wishes.; 5:12 PM, June 18, 2010
Ed Rasimus said...: What do you want to put a deli-cut meat on seeded rye sandwich into a zip-loc for? Put it on a plate, sit down and eat it. Have a cold beer and a dill spear with it. Watch a baseball game or NASCAR race. Make snide remarks about World Cup pansies. (Hint: use fatty NY Deli pastrami. Heat in microwave for 45 seconds, then pile high on the rye. Melting swiss cheese on it is optional.); 5:14 PM, June 18, 2010
BobG said...: "Fresh Market's really a lot more yuppie gourmet than vegan hippie, actually."

Most yuppie gourmets that I've met are nothing more than rich hippies who also eat meat.

Contrary to what most younger people think, sixties hippies were not a bunch of vegetarians like the ones now, that came years later. I've seen many a stoned hippy in a greasy spoon chowing down on burgers during an attach of the munchies.; 5:40 PM, June 18, 2010
Tam said...: Ed,

Yeah, this is that awesomely fatty stuff.; 5:44 PM, June 18, 2010
Weer'd Beard said...: Plastic wrap. It's like a size-your-own bag!

That or paper towels work wicked good too, so long as you don't pack yer sammich right next to the ice pack in yer lunch pail!; 6:14 PM, June 18, 2010
Crucis said...: Ed, my wife makes those except she uses Onion Rolls instead of Rye.

Yum!; 6:20 PM, June 18, 2010
Anonymous said...: "Cause they hate you & you suck.

:)

sv; 6:29 PM, June 18, 2010
New Jovian Thunderbolt said...: I blame the NRA. They won't protect our free speech, and now they won't advocate for ample baggies. Bastards! Return my dues and stop sending me magazines!; 6:38 PM, June 18, 2010
JohnW said...: Cartoon (Playboy? New Yorker?) from the late sixties: Two hippies sitting at a table, one holding a baggie and saying, "Wow, man, did you know a sandwich will fit in one of these?"; 6:57 PM, June 18, 2010
global village idiot said...: Used to be every grown-up used to know how to wrap a sandwich using wax paper.

Don't wrap it like fast-food joints wrap their sandwiches. Do it the right way. Take enough wax paper so that when you lay the sandwich in the center, the long bits extend up about 6" above the sandwich. Make the ends meet and roll them toward the sandwich. Then fold the other ends in a manner similar to that used on Warsaw-Pact bullet packets, only fold the ends UNDER the sandwich.

The sandwich will stay wrapped like this whether in a paper sack or lunch box.

Sheesh, I've gotta explain EVERYTHING to you kids...

gvi; 10:17 PM, June 18, 2010
George said...: In an unrelated, but important FOOD comment, LOLLYPHILE (of S.F.)
is discontinuing it's BACON FLAVORED LOLLYS, due to the oil spill (I just received an email from them in this regard).
SO, if you like those Chocolate-Real Bacon Lollys, better hop to!
P.S. Mayo, not mustard on bologna?; 10:35 PM, June 18, 2010
doubletrouble said...: You hit it gvi!
I thought that was a (my) family secret.
Must've come from packing lunch pails during the last depression...; 10:36 PM, June 18, 2010
Anonymous said...: Last week the late-night food cue here was "pizza", and I had none. Now I am craving pastrami on rye with melted swiss cheese and a pickle, and there is none of that for twenty miles around either! (Must anticipate Tam..must anticipate Tam..)
NCDave; 11:18 PM, June 18, 2010
Bubblehead Les. said...: Sigh. Wife's back on Weight Watchers, and I'm lucky to sneek in an extra bowl of Cheerios. Also GVI forgot to mention that the wax paper helps to keep your sammich from exploding when you put it in the office micronuker. P.S.: What's a Fresh Market? All I have in my neck of the woods is Giant Eagle, or I can go down the road to the Giant Eagle, or cross the railroad tracks and head south to the Giant Eagle.....; 12:06 AM, June 19, 2010
Joe in PNG said...: NC Dave:
You have it easy. Twenty miles? I've got to fly to the next country over (Australia) at great expense for a pastrami on rye.
And I don't know if the Aussies would even know how to make one if I did head that way.
And pizza? The stuff here makes Dominos look good.

Oh, well, at least I can get good meat pies...; 12:46 AM, June 19, 2010
Anonymous said...: That is "query", Tam. Maybe you're supposed to cut your sammich up into cute little finger pastramionrye sammiches so that they, and you, fit in.

I don't think the quers like you using that word, though. But it's okay if they do. Perfectly good word hijacked. PC is some dumb shit.

AT; 11:16 AM, June 19, 2010
TheSev said...: Perchance, have you asked them why?; 2:53 PM, June 19, 2010
Bubblehead Les. said...: Dear Joe in PNG
Well, at least you don't have to pay $50-$60 for a rack of lamb, if you can find it. As for pizza... I smell a business opportunity!; 3:20 PM, June 19, 2010
Joe in PNG said...: Nah, it's only the very few folks from N. America that don't like the local pizza. Seems we have an irrational desire to put this "sauce" stuff on it.
However, the Chinese resturants here are incredible.; 5:30 PM, June 19, 2010

View From The Porch

Friday, June 18, 2010

Query:

27 comments:

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