Friday, June 11, 2010

Scratch the right spot to find a statist...

Bazbeaux Pizza in Broad Ripple, the greatest pizza restaurant in the known universe, had a fire in their kitchen last night!

They have 17 “traditional” toppings (including carrots and jalapenos) and 37 “exotic" toppings (from andouille sausage to crab meat to pine nuts) and they may have to restock them all! Ladies and gentlemen, there is a fire station right across the street but due to... er, something or other that I don't know or understand but probably having to do with budgets or science, it doesn't have fire trucks, just rescue vehicles, and therefore Bazbeaux's kitchen burned until the sprinkler system put it out. This is a travesty of a sham of a mockery of a sham of a travesty!

Forget oily pelicans in Louisiana, we need squillions of federal dollars, as well as fresh pine nuts and andouille sausage, right here in Broad Ripple, pronto!

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wait, an oven caught fire???

The source of the fire is an oven catching fire at 6AM?

Shootin' Buddy

theirritablearchitect said...

What the fuck is it with you people out there who've just gotta put weird shit on pizza?

Who's ever even heard of such a thing as carrots on pizza?

If I wanted carrots, I'd eat a frickin' salad.

Whatever.

Have it your way.

Ed Rasimus said...

You get your federal funds for pizza toppings as soon as you find an enumerated power in the Constitution that says a thing about fire engines anywhere.

I'd say you've got a local election coming up that is just screaming for a new administration at whatever level is chartered to deal with public safety. City? County? FPD?


And then Bubby-dough or whatever needs to have insurance next time if he didn't this go-round. (Of course, in Chicago when I was a tadpole, fires in restaurants were usually related to either poor business or bad public relations with connected Italian guys.

Tam said...

I demand federal tax dollars to support senses of humor in Kansas and Texas! Millions for jokes, but not a penny for tribute!

(IrritableArchitect: I like them because I can get a pizza with bacon, feta, and capers from them. From Cardboard Hut? Not so much...)

D.W. Drang said...

1) I'll put whatever I want on my pizza. Applies to putting beans in chile, or even (shudder) ice in whiskey.
2) I think fire departments are reasonably a (local) .gov function. Can't really get behind the whole El Neil "All Volunteer" FD or, worse, your insurance company sends out it's guys. Either takes too long to respond, among other problems, or gets confusing. (Have to make your home insuarance decisions based on who has the closest service, most up-to-date equipment, or...?)(Roman history geeks know that part of how Crassus--or was it Pompey?--made his pile was running fire fighting scams...)
3) Looks like the sarcasm key is busted. Although I caught it without spotting the "T'hee" tag. Oh, well.

aczarnowski said...

Soft goat cheese is the queen of all fancy pizza toppings.

[ insert Homer Simpson impression here ]

The bacon/feta/capers combo sounds like a princess very close to the throne though.

Tam said...

It'll get you your weekly sodium intake tout de suite, that's for sure. :)

Nathan said...

I believe that the reason there is no fire truck in the Broad Ripple fire station is because IFD does not currently own an engine that will fit in the garage there, and nobody wants to pay to enlarge the garage to fit modern fire apparatus.

For years IFD kept a superannuated pumper in Broad Ripple but I imagine upkeep on that machine probably became unreasonable. So the Broad Ripple firehouse was turned into a glorified first-aid station and fire runs into Broad Ripple now come from 56th and Illinois.

RevolverRob said...

If, hippy dippy Austinites (who won't dig a whole without certifying it with the Texas Historical Society) can modify a fire station that was originally designed to house a horse and water buggy fire truck. You Hoosiers ought to be able to accomplish that task too....Just sayin'...

-Rob

Anonymous said...

What Nathan said is probably the reason. Also, a fire dept. usually has more fire calls to the less affluent parts of town, and positions fire apparatus accordingly for quick response to those areas.
As a footnote, now I am hungry for pizza and there is none for twenty miles in my part of NC.
NC Dave

reflectoscope said...

I wouldn't do carrots in particular either, but pine nuts? That is a hell of an interesting idea. Maybe I'll see if Brigid has a dough recipe and go to town (meaning go to the kitchen instead of to town, but I digress).

Jim

Tam said...

Bobbi really likes the carrots on the pizza. Can't stand 'em, myself. Thankfully, they do halfsies.

D.W. Drang said...

Sikh-owned place across the street does chicken, feta, and ginger.

Fancy place downtown (downtown Suburbville) does prosciutto and arugula, which was great, until The Won put me off arugula...

Joel said...

Everybody's a critic. But I was young and foolish once myself. Once I thought the idea of pineapple and ham on a pizza was ridiculous. Now I know anything else is heresy.

Ken said...

@aczarnowski: I dunno as I'd go as far as that, but I'll allow as to how we got a guy in town makes a pretty durn good prosciutto and goat-cheese white pizza.

Joanna said...

As a footnote, now I am hungry for pizza and there is none for twenty miles in my part of NC.

Now that is a true travishamockery.

LabRat said...

I am so depressed. Our local pizza place has plenty of options for topping... on terrible pizza. And we ran Pizza Hut and Domino's out of town.

...*sigh*

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a nest of swallows or a tortoise den on that pizza place property? Call it in, they'll have a disaster crew there by morning.

NC Dave and 'Rat: two words: tomb. stone. (ok, I'm no gourmet pizza snob, but I've got a hot slice of pepperoni in my hand and you don't, so...)

AT

rickn8or said...

@ Shootin' Buddy:
"The source of the fire is an oven catching fire at 6AM?"

Such things are usually the result of several months of negative cash flow.

Tam said...

Bazbeaux ain't hurtin'. They've been in the same location for a long time, they don't advertise, and they have a line like they're giving dollar bills away every evening & weekend. I don't know about their other two stores, but the Broad Ripple one's got to be making money.

Old Grouch said...

@Reflectoscope, etal:

1. Acquire this book. (Don't use my link, use Tam's, so she gets a cut.)

2. Absorb chapter 22: "Perfect 10-minute Street Pizza".

3. Follow Steve's directions.

4. Enjoy.

Matt G said...

The travesty here, is that someone considers carrots to be a "traditional" pizza topping.

Lergnom said...

I have a copy of his first edition, just on the strength of the ad on his blog describing it. The writing was beyond awesome. Sadly, the page isn't there anymore.

theirritablearchitect said...

Cardboard Hut it is in my sleepy bedroom community...so the Kraut and I have to make do with making it all ourselves on our own stone, and it's delicious.

Still, carrots on pizza? Even by way of mentioning it, you've ruined it for me. I'll always think about those now when eating my traditional sausage, pepperoni and feta.

Oh well, I guess I'll have to manage.