Thursday, December 09, 2010

Admitting you have a problem is the first step...

I'm not trying to be judgmental here, but if you find yourself getting all liquored up and then driving off down the street while watching wank videos on your portable DVD player instead of, you know, the road in front of your car, then you have a problem. Several problems, as a matter of fact, and the one with the cops is probably not the least of them...

(Although it's not clear whether IMPD pulled him over to write him a ticket or offer him a job...)

Speaking of the IMPD, fire Frank Straub!

10 comments:

staghounds said...

1. More than twice the legal limit in Indiana for non IMPD officers.

2. Was he truly either watching or driving? More glancing and rolling.

3. Sometimes that 15 minutes is no fun at all.

D.W. Drang said...

Wasn't there a similar case a few weeks ago, in which a woman was doing more than just watching the vid?

Rabbit said...

I used to see a heavily metalflaked red Buick with rims that cost more than the car on the highway every night when heading home. There were no less than 5 large (maybe 17 inch) LCD screens visible from outside the vehicle, all showing stuff that would have been banned in Boston.

.....CLIFFORD said...

What? Didn't this guy read P.J. O'Rourke?...

http://www.heretical.com/miscella/reptile.html

BobG said...

Was he driving with one hand? Never mind, I don't really want to know...

Anonymous said...

C'mon no jokes about driving a stick?

Really?

Living in Babylon said...

"Applicant shows a skill at multi tasking and is obviously ambidextrous. He shows an impressive aptitude for observation of sordid acts while patrolling."

"Hell, if this guy can pass a drug screen, promote him straight to Detective. If not, there is always TSA."

DirtCrashr said...

By God at least he wasn't talking or texting on a cell phone!
Was it a hands-free device?

Matt G said...

"C'mon no jokes about driving a stick?"

Or steering with a suicide knob?


_________

I once responded to a call of a truck driving all over the road. I got in behind it, and videotaped it almost striking a bridge abutment. I stopped it, and got up to the semi-tractor cab, and the guy had no explanation for why he was all over the road, other than the sun was in his eyes. Huh. It wasn't in my eyes. It wasn't in anyone else's eyes. Truth be told, the sun was just rising about 270 degrees from the direction of the highway, that morning. But when I got him to step down from the cab, he had to pull up and button his trousers.

I explained that I was writing him a ticket for Fail To Maintain a Single Lane. He was irritated, and said that he had not done anything wrong. I explained that he absolutely had the right to fight the citation in court, at which time I would present video evidence and testimony of everything that I saw. EVERYTHING.

He paid the ticket.
I didn't shake his hand when we parted.
Ew.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there an NBA player that was driving, watching, and lovin' himself when he crashed a couple of years ago?