Monday, December 20, 2010

Lighten up, Francis.


One of the staff members at a popular firearms board posted the following:
"At the local gun range I see all those zombie targets for sale, and can't help but feel it makes us gun owners look really juvinile [sic]. I train against lifelike images of real bad guys, not undead corpses."
i r srs shooter! guns r srs business! I mean, God forbid anybody should have any fun with their heater...

Well, that's the short answer, at least. The longer answer is more complicated.
  1. Zombie targets are seen as more socially acceptable in some circles than photorealistic people. What's antisocial about shooting at made-up monsters, after all? You get to shoot an anthropomorphic target, the people on the next lane over get to train their 8-year-old daughter to shoot her Cricket without feeling a little uncomfortable, and everybody's happy.
  2. Zombies are one of them metty-for things, serving as a symbolic stand-in for whatever end-of-the-world scenario preys on the zeitgeist at the moment. (Currently it's economic collapse and rioting in the streets; in the '50s it was commie infiltrators and in the '70s it was post-nuclear wastelands...)
  3. Amongst Gen X and Gen Y types, who have grown up with a media saturated with portrayals of "survivalists" as racist far-right looney-tunes, it's a way to be prepared for any eventuality without your friends thinking you're about to move to rural Idaho and start yelling "Sieg heil!" a lot. Remember: If you're prepared for the dead to rise and walk the earth in search of human brains, then getting laid off at work or getting socked by a Cat 5 hurricane is really no big deal. Crack open a case of Spam and drive on...

42 comments:

ViolentIndifference said...

Stripes reference. Nice.

Jay G said...

And in certain clubs in MA, you can't even shoot at humanoid targets anyways...

(I really wish I were making that up...)

Julie said...

photorealistic images are banned here - not sure about zombies though ...

ViolentIndifference said...

Snowmen. Someone needs to make targets that look like snowmen. It would be hard to argue that three stacked snow spheres are humanoid.

Two to the top coal button, one to the carrot.

Tam said...

Zombie snowmen!

Standard Mischief said...

I've never even been to a (pay) range where they let you use realistic targets.

The club I used to belong to actually had it in the bylaws that the only realistic targets you could shoot at were of generic white male people.

Shooting at a photo of your boss or ex-SO, or that commander in chief of corpses-men that's been to all 57 states might be stress relieving or fun, but if something awful ever happened to those people, your harmless little stress release would not look good as an Exhibit A.

genedunn said...

You just made the list, buddy. And I don't need nobody touchin' my stuff!

docjim505 said...

Sounds about one step up from complaining about people playing "Halo" or "Quake" instead of "Call of Duty"!

Wonder what his opinion is of people who shoot at bullseye targets...

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

~whistle~

TBeck said...

Bah! Everybody knows that scissor-wielding veloiraptors wearing jetpacks are the true threat to humanity.

On a more cheerful note, I shoot at a municipal range and they sell photorealistic targets at the counter. God bless Texas!

ZerCool said...

Does he use Big-Boy Rules when he shoots, too?

Anonymous said...

Currently it's economic collapse and rioting in the streets; in the '50s it was commie infiltrators and in the '70s it was post-nuclear wastelands...

Man, I must really be paranoid: I'm prepping for all three.

Breda said...

Clowns. We need clown targets.

Alan J. said...

Killer Clowns from Outer Space! Better yet, Zombie Killer Clowns from Outer Space!

Anonymous said...

We had at least two woman come in and tape pictures of their soon to be ex-husbands on Q targets. I had to call them off the range and tell them it was a no-no by they rules.

We let them vent for awhile, then sent them back on the range sans pictures. They came out smilling in both cases after shooting an hour and no further problems.

Gerry

Tam said...

Breda,

Clowns are way too scary. :o

TBeck said...

I'd be willing to pay a little extra to bust a cap into Pennywise.

RWC said...

Bunch of coulrophobics around here :-P

Discobobby said...

Thanks, you just destroyed any hope of productivity we had at work today.

You don't want to know where my twisted little team took "Two to the top coal button, one to the carrot."

ViolentIndifference said...

Disco: Also an effective strategy.

Sarah said...

RWC: I don't fear clowns. I just hate them. :)

RWC said...

Same here Sarah ;-)


http://www.shootingrangetargets.com/Zombie-Clown-Targets-Jingles-103-1001-00.htm

I guess it was inevitable.

Robin said...

Mimes. I want to shoot mimes.

RWC said...

Robin,

Howzabout Zombie Mimes?

http://static.myextralife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/zombie-mime-blog.jpg

Ambulance Driver said...

"Two to the top coal button, one to the carrot."

ROFLMAO.

And since I doubt it snows in Mozambique, we'd have to rename it the Manitoba Drill.

Cemetery's Gun Blob said...

I don't get those fantasy sport shooters either.

;)

Kristopher said...

Damned ... sounds like a new shooting discipline to me.

ZASS, Zombie Action Shooters Society.

You have to dress up like a Gecko_45 mallninja, shout one of Gecko_45s catchphrases, and then take down slowly moving targets with tactical-tommy weapons.

The more useless rail gadgets, the higher the score!

Discobobby said...

ZASS: Yeah, but I'm having a hard time convincing Mrs. Discobobby to assemble a rifle while another competitor repeatedly shoots me in the back to test my layered armor. Something about "darwin", I couldn't really hear her....

On the up side, I could see how running around with a 40 pound rifle, 65 pounds of cheap battle-rattle and an armored golf cart could do wonders for my cardio fitness. Rule One: Cardio. And I can give the airsoft stuff to the kids to play "Taunt The Mall Ninja" and practice zombie schoolyard defense tactics to keep them sharp. You can't start them learning good habits too early.

RWC said...

Screw the rifle, I thought the golf cart was equipped with our modified surplus Shrikes

Discobobby said...

Shrikes are impractical for zombie defense, area weapons tend to be inefficient. Mrs. Discobobby's NEF single-shot 300 WinMag, on the other hand, is perfect for those far standoff distances.

Wait, she just said I'm a "tool". That's, like, handy in many tactical situations, I think. She digs my mad zombie tactical skills. This ZASS thing is a great way for Elite Operators like us that are single to meet like-minded babes. Mall hours and all the on-call mission time make it hard to date, and the Victoria's Secret by the food court asked my single teammates not to hang around and stare.

I'm a lucky man, Mrs. Discobobby totally understands our way of life. She keeps it really covert by eye-rolling and snarky comments - how cool is it that my babe never breaks cover? WAY cool. She's training the kids to do it too! What a woman! I'm the luckiest Operator in the world.

BGMiller said...

I've been shooting Gnome targets of late that I downloaded off teh interwebs. The folks at the range just chuckle. The only person that really raises an eyebrow in the girlfriend. Apparently sitting and watching the ol' idiot box and coloring in gnomes with a box of Crayolas is just a bit too weird for her. Not my fault that I prefer the color contrast.


BGM

Linoge said...

Some people just cannot stand the prospect of other people having fun in a way that has absolutely no impact on anyone else.

Unfortunately, that is one of those shortcomings that bridges the gap between anti and pro.

TBeck said...

One encounter with the walking dead does NOT make one a necrophiliac!

RWC said...

On a lighter note, Brian Aitken is free. Good job Christie.

Geodkyt said...

BMiller:

Remember, "Once you go gnome, you'll never go home!"

Peace out.

Anonymous said...

"Currently it's economic collapse and rioting in the streets; in the '50s it was commie infiltrators and in the '70s it was post-nuclear wastelands..."

I'm currently trying to write my playlist of "Best End-of-the-World Scenarios". I have zombie communist infiltrators rioting in the streets of a post-nuclear wasteland after the economic collapse. They are also fighting roving gangs of cannibalistic cannabis-smoking clowns.

Did I miss anything?

-Mongol

global village idiot said...

For truly inappropriate and uproariously funny targets you must, it seems, go to Bisley:

http://www.fmft.net/archives/002246.html

(5th picture down, for the kids playing along at home)

gvi

keith said...

I shoot at a members only range and you can shoot whatever you're willing to bring (paper only).

I'm too cheap to buy the fancy zombie or Osama or target looking targets so roll my own - mostly letters of the alphabet spray painted on cardboard.

I really like ventilating lower case "i"s. I just hate the letter i.

Keith

mikee said...

When I lived in Maryland a decade ago, I shot at a little outdoor range north of Bawlmer. My favorite targets for 25 yard pistol practice were Marshmallow Peeps. You know, the bunnies & ducks for Easter!

Amazingly resilient when hit with 22LR, surprisingly explosive when hit with anything centerfire, they made great reactive targets. And they were biodegradable, or at least disappeared between visits to the range. I suspect the local opossums helped.

These worked fine fresh out of the store, but if I had some in the range bag for a week or two, they stiffened up considerably and worked even better.

Zombie Peeps, anyone?

John said...

This whole thread is fulll of win. Nice work everyone.

RWC said...

Discobobby,

Of course the shrikes aren't that effective. That is why I am requesting lobo's for the mall tactical suppression teams.

WV: amsplec....don't know what it is but it sounds tacticool so I wants it :-P

crosswiredmind said...

zombietargets.net has zombie clowns