Sunday, December 12, 2010

Overheard in the Hallway:

My roomie is in her room. The TeeWee has cut on. I am in the hallway.

Voice on TV: "Ask me what it's like to sleep on a cloud!"

RX: "Ask me what it's like to ride a camel."

Me: "What did you say?"

RX: "I said, 'Ask me what it's like to ride a camel'!"

Me: "Oh, thank gawd. I thought you'd said 'Ask me what it's like to ride a clown'!"

RX: "Oh, clown rodeo! There's the cowboy in the chute atop ol' Bozo. He's a mean one! The gate opens and off he goes, bucking across the ring..."

Me: *helpless, shrieking laughter*

RX: "...and then they have those specially-trained bulls to distract the clowns and keep 'em from trampling riders when they get thrown."


I have not been able to get the image of clown rodeo out of my head all morning...

27 comments:

TBeck said...

American clown rodeo is actually descended from a Spanish sport where men in too-tight, sequined pants bravely face off against irritable, chain-smoking French mimes.

BGMiller said...

God(s)......

Can you imagine the carnage if one of the clowns got loose and managed to get into the stands?

What load for clowns? I'm guessing they'll require something with serious knockdown power.


BGM

Anonymous said...

300 grain semi-jacketed confetti points work for me.

Anonymous said...

As TBeck alludes, Clown Rodeo is a watered down version of the real deal, tired old clowns that are safer for the wannabe clownboys to rope 'n ride.

The original Clown Fighters, otoh, are fearless as they face the newest and fastest of the painted-face monsters...many have left it all right there in the ring, and when the main event (three rings and three clowns at once) starts, all bets are off and carnage often ensues.

But it is all worthwhile, as the long sharp stickers accumulate in the devilish and outlandish costumed characters that belie the evil and maniacal nature of the beasts, until at least one of them lies bleeding and dying, having honked his last nose and driven his last tiny car; a threat no more.

AT

Roberta X said...

Must>Have>Pictures!

(VW: "hatering." OMG)

Tam said...

Oh, man, these answers are killing me.

AT's was poetry.

I wonder if Hemingway aver covered a clownfight (or lucha del payaso as it is known in its native land)?

BGMiller said...

Tam,
I don't know about Hemingway's clownfighting experience but I think Ruark had some wild clown experiences. On one of his safaris with Harry Selby I think he pulled a tag for a Lesser Livingston's Jokeabeast. If I'm remembering the story correctly he and Selby came across a herd of Jokeabeast denned down in an old Land Rover. Ruark was shooting one of Karamojo Bell's old 7mms.

BGM

JB Miller said...

Those clown guns are dangerous.

Those BANG flags can poke your eye out!

George said...

Send in the clowns, don't bother, they're here...
@JB - replace BANG flags with SQUIB flags, much safer!
And I thought clown rodeo was she didn't remove her makeup first?

Ed Rasimus said...

Ruark and Selby creeping up on the herd of Livingston's Jokeabeasts was the coffee splutter moment of the week. Karamojo Bell's .17 caliber elephant gun was covered in last month's G&A which I read now only for the reinforcement of my opinion that literacy is no longer a pre-req for a writing career.

wv: "costoy"--a Russian tragedian sold in paperback versions at a member's only discount warehouse.

Crotalus (Dont Tread on Me) said...

You two are certifiable! :oD

Worst clown to ride: Pennywise, from Stephen Kings "It".

staghounds said...

Yes- when the Pierrotador fights so well that the crowd insists he be given both ears...

Actually I think clown rodeo is more cruel than clownfighting. Have you seen where they tie that "bucking handkerchief"?

BGMiller said...

Ohhhhh.....
Now I understand why when they pull the hankie out of a pocket the end of the string of hankies and flags is a pair of boxers.

It all makes a little more sense.

'Course now I'm just a little more worried about that squirting flower.

BGM

og said...

clown rodeo

Clown wranglers.

thesev said...

I have not been able to get the image of clown rodeo out of my head all morning...

Thanks, Now we can't either... Heh.

og said...

Ride 'em. clownboy!!

og said...

Damn, right to the spam filters again.

Matt G said...

"Well daggum, that was a pretty good ride, don't you think, Gus?"

"Damned if I know, Rusty-- I can't bear to look at them dadgummed clowns; I get the shivers."

Anonymous said...

Anybody remember the Bud Light commercial for "Lawyer Rodeo" that everyone but the Bar Association loved?
LittelRed1

Joe in PNG said...

Sadly, a few decades ago during the Running of the Clowns in Pamplona, many of the clowns were able to break free and then hide out in various national governing bodies... thus the EU was born.

Anonymous said...

Joke all you want, but messin' with clowns is scary business. A friend and I had cornered one downtown a few years ago, when suddenly 12 more sprang out of a nearby Kia...

Even today the sight of a balloon animal triggers my PCTSD.

Antibubba

Anonymous said...

"Must>Have>Pictures!"

No can do, RX.

Identities of the Clownfighters must be protected, as their dangerous sport is shunned by outraged PC clown patrons, and they are legion; painted-on smiles and the free balloon animals that Antibubba mentioned are treasured by the mentally and constitutionally infirm, and hippies.

As we speak they are pushing for passage of laws against Clownfighting and punishment for its practitioners. So it is critical that we conceal the identities of these heroes who see through the rainbow-hued-and-haired facade and into the manipulative, controlling, black heart that beats inside, and who bravely risk their own psyches to protect mine and yours, in a fight to the death.

AT

Jim said...

Look, the clown riding is all well and good, but the real skill is in the stand up comic-roping. Them buggers move faster than you think.

Jim

TBeck said...

What makes the North American clown subspecies so dangerous is the cooperative hunting tactics. Several clowns will attempt to distract their target with random sprays of water and colorful bunches of flowers as the last member of the pack low-crawls up from behind to tear out the prey's ACL. Suffice it to say; when the little clown car rolls to a stop, you know it's on!

Joe in PNG said...

Now if you want to talk about tough, those rodeo bulls are freaking tough. It takes a lot of guts to get into that arena, much less to get between some poor stunned clownboy and a crazed, pie slinging 300lb Hobo clown. I'd sure want more than just a half ton of muscle and a set of razor sharp horns if I was face to face with one of those clowns.

BGMiller said...

Where do they find a barrel big enough for the bull to dive in to when the clown gets danger close?


BGM

Roberta X said...

They use those huge French wine barrels. But you have to make sure they're empty or the bulls just dive in and refuse to come back out.