Sunday, April 10, 2011

It's a special thing that mommies and daddies do.

When I was little, I thought that part of growing up involved a magical transformation whereby things you previously thought were icky now seemed exciting and thrilling: Things like staying inside of a perfect, sunny weekend morning and watching a bunch of people on the television sit in chairs and talk about politics. Alas, that transformation never happened, and I still find it icky, albeit for different reasons.

Back then, it was icky because it was boring and I couldn't understand half of what they were talking about. Now it's icky because it's boring and I realize that they're a pack of self-important jackanapes and poltroons without the brains God gave a turnip and all the finely honed grasp of ethics and consequences exhibited by your average neighborhood crackhead, but with better clothes.

The televisor cuts on to the local news automagically, since I'm a convertible owner and bicycle rider and I'd like to know if we're planning on having weather of some sort that day, plus I find it reassuring to know that the city did not burn down around my ears the night before. On the weekends, however, once the weatherchick finishes her spiel, morbid curiosity overcomes my self restraint and I click over to CNN or FOX News or, God help me, MSNBC...

The fact that more television sets don't die gruesome, sparking deaths from a .38 or a thrown brick every Sunday morning depresses me no end when I allow myself to think about it.

25 comments:

Alan J. said...

I know exactly how you feel, Tam. If every member of Congress for the last 50 years had been passengers on the Titanic, they would have been the ones rearranging the deck chairs to admire the view and talking about how they can settle all our budget problems by selling snow cones.

With the exception of Megyn Kelly, I've long since given up on watching the talking heads because they're just a bunch of boring a**kissing weasels that sold their own integrity in the quest for ratings and being a member of the "In" crowd. My only consolation is that the longer they play these games, the more likely it is that the Tea Party will be a growing force in the future.

Southern Belle said...

I know what you mean, Tam.

By the way, what is a jackanape?

Tam said...

An impudent scoundrel putting on airs to ape its betters.

BobG said...

I stay away from news on the TV. It's bad enough reading what those idiots are doing, I don't want to watch them also.

Marja said...

Hmm. Maybe you should move to Europe for a few years. Might look a bit better after you got back.

Ken said...

Hmmm. You appear to have rolled straight through O'Rourke and on into Mencken. The times'll do that to a person, I grant.

Paul said...

I've talked to europeans. They think we are running a comedy.

I've quit watching fox news after about 11 am. They are all getting you mad about something you cannot change.

The next election is very important. VOTE.

rickn8or said...

Paul, yes VOTE.

But watch the ones that count the votes like a hawk, and trust none of them any further than you could throw a piano.

JHardin said...

For a very long time I've been wishing that my TV remote had a "pain" button.

I bet Comcast would make sagans of money if they could make things that interactive, rather than just allowing you to interactively opt-in for marketing crap.

Crotalus (Don't Tread on Me) said...

MSNBC, Tam??? QUICK, EVERYBODY!!! INTERVENTION!!!

Will said...

I get my weather from the 'net. If I run into a "newscast" on tv, it feels like I've accidentally opened a door onto a porn film set. Too icky all around.
BTW, Tam, you are significantly upping msnbc's ratings by tuning in. Stop encouraging them! :)

Comrade Misfit said...

My suggestion: Catch "your local on the eights" on the Weather Channel and check your local news in the dead-tree press (or their web page).

Let the Sunday morning bobbleheads and bloviators jabber to themselves.

LabRat said...

Personally I get my weather report on weekends by pressing my palm flat to a window, then opening it and sniffing the air.

But then, I really WOULD rather be drenched than interact in any capacity with politics on a Sunday.

Marja said...

Paul, I am a European. Finnish, actually. We have an election this week, which might right now be coloring my views a bit.

Cond0010 said...

"The fact that more television sets don't die gruesome, sparking deaths from a .38 or a thrown brick every Sunday morning depresses me no end... "

Hmmm... this way ain't bad either, Tamara:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP9dlTornbM#t=57

Bubblehead Les. said...

There's no News on the News Channels.

There's no Weather on the Weather Channel.

You're down to ESPN and the Intertube.

I'd save that Sunday Morning time for a long, hot soak with a Kindle and a nice bowl of Reconstituted Cream of Wheat with Honey.

Or after a nice cup of Jamaica Blue Mountain, you could hit the reloading bench.

Trust me, you'll have plenty of warning before you need to put on your Wookie Suit.

loren said...

Tam,
Once upon a time I had a cliff top house in the Colorado mountains. Used to get up early on Sunday and go out to the hot tub (sunken and on the cliff edge overlooking a few million acres of public National Forest) and watch the sun come up with a coffee and Baily. Came back in after an hour or so and put some Bach on the stereo. No sound other than what I or the elk made. No phone or computer and the 3 channel TV only came on for Star Trec or football. Did a lot of things since then, but that was the best time of my life er than when my son was born.
Do yourself a favor. Simplify your life, get away from the city. Ignore the pundits on TV since their either wrong, lying or unimportant.

Anonymous said...

Tam:

When tee-wee went high def, we went tee-wee free. Don't miss it. I get all the weather reporting I need off the intarwebz, and all the news I need off the blog aggregators.

If you really want to trash a tee-wee, come out to Boomershoot some fine spring and bring one with you. I'm pretty sure Joe will set it up for you in the target field at pretty much any distance you want, and put a flag on it that says 'TAM'S TARGET', or some such, or maybe he'll just make an announcement on the PA that it's yours and for everybody else it's a no-shooty. Previous targets have included multiple stuffed purple dinosaurs (Barney), personal computers, monitors, laptops, and other assorted objects to which participants developed an animus.

Plus you could blog about your Boomershoot experience too. Pretty sure Joe would enjoy having you come out.

BoxStockRacer

WV: nomist - goodies scarfer?

Joseph said...

I quit watching those things long ago. I cleaned my guns this morning after I got soaked yesterday at the match. My mind is free from fret, for I know my arms are ready.

Earl said...

I am of the oppinion that having to watch stupidity, and commercials to pay for what I already hooked up to... drives me out to the range for exercises in logic and reason, clean simple straight shooting I can only lie about once I leave the target area and have policed up my brass and restored my bravado... maybe MSM has a use.

wv - prove (way to go Google!)

Anonymous said...

Jackanape: def 1: The result of crossbreeding a jackass and a chimpanzee. def 2: A politician of any party.

cap'n chumbucket

tickmeister said...

About 4 years ago, DishTV proposed to raise my rate to about $390.00 per year. Told them to shove it, no TV since. Never missed it, and my dementia is progressing at a much slower rate now.

Go thou and do likewise.

Buzz said...

Damn, loren, is that place available for cheap?

Sounds like heaven to me, including the Star Trek and football!

tom-the-impaler said...

On behalf of poltroons across the globe, I DEMAND you take that back!

John B said...

I'd venture a conciliatory pat upon the shoulder, but I'm afraid of losing the hand in question.

every time I bring anything gun-shaped into the living room, Dad shuts off the TV.

I walked out with a soldering gun last week, and he promised to keep the news turned down.

I had just come out in search of a water bottle.