Sunday, April 10, 2011

Somebody please wake me up.

I thought I overheard one of the talking heads on the TeeWee this morning say that Donald Trump had come in second in a New Hampshire phone poll, and I thought "That can't be right," but it turns out that oh yes it is.

Donald Trump? Donald &*$%ing Trump? Are you $#!*ing me? There are people who look at this character and think "Wow, now that's presidential timber!" Who do you want for his running mate? I'm thinking Paul Reubens could lend a bit of gravitas to the ticket, myself.

Okay, this is all a bad dream, right? This is from watching all those cheesy dystopian SciFi movies and I'm going to flip the channel and Richard frickin' Dawson is going to be telling Arnold Schwarzenegger that "It's time to start running!" Except, oh wait, those vapid jackholes on the left coast actually elected Ahnold to be their real-life governor. Twice.

Please, somebody, give me the pill I take to get out of this madhouse. I don't care if I wake up in a submarine and have to eat reconstituted Cream of Wheat with Keanu Reeves for a dining companion for the rest of my days; it's got to be better than this.

63 comments:

Loki1776 said...

Somehow this seems appropriate.

BobG said...

Looking at the caliber of people the Stupid Party is coming up with makes me wonder if they want Obama to be re-elected. Most of those assholes I wouldn't trust with the keys to my car, let alone the keys to the government.

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

I think it's less that people think he's presidential material than it is that they think he's better than any other options that are on the table right now.

The really disturbing part is that they're not all that far wrong.

Shane said...

You gotta remember the people that Ahnold was running against -- starting with Gray-Out Davis.

Anonymous said...

Meh, this means nothing yet.
1st: Romney
2nd: Trump
3rd-4th: Gingrich and Huckabee

I have this feeling that a whole bunch of stuff is going to happen over the next year. We may not recognize the field by then, candidate or playing.

Tam said...

Anon 10:56,

That's not the point. The point is that better than one in five people in a telephone poll responded to the idea of Donald Trump as president with approval, rather than derisive laughter.

TJIC said...

> I'm thinking Paul Reubens could lend a bit of gravitas to the ticket, myself.

LLOL!

Anonymous said...

I tend to think of it as replacing one "Clown" with another!

Jimmy said...

I say see if we can get Roslin/Adama on the ticket.

John said...

Pat Paulsen/Alfred E. Neuman `12!
"What, us worry?"

In my cynical moments, I think we're going to wind up with Mitt Romney running as the Republican candidate.

It's the sort of prospect that makes an all-zombie Reagan/Coolidge ticket look pretty appealing.

Jim said...

It it will ease your mind a tiny bit -- but I don't think it should -- he's running ran only third in first-caucus Iowa polls.

I suppose everyone saw that Jesse is proposing a Ventura/Paul ticket.

Alan J. said...

OK, here's a storyline straight out of left field. Colin Powell looks around and sees that the Republicans are running a field so weak that almost anyone could beat them like a rented mule. He says, "Hey, I'm well respected by D.C. and the rest of the world, the Right will love me because of my military background and ties to the glory days of Reagan, and I'll look rightwing conservative when compared to Obama. The Democrats can't attack me because I'm black, and Obama is self-destructing politically. I can even offer up someone like Pawlenty as an outsider for VP. It's a lock!"

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Tam. It's real, and it's NOT spectacular.

jf

JD said...

Trump has no shot at a win, but at least he can be a good attack dog and force Obama to deal with him. I hope he keeps briging up the things that the politically correct folks won't talke about. He could make this uncomfortable for O

Ed Foster said...

Alan J., I cribbed this from a comment I left on "Say Uncle".

Powell? A slight disconnect with reality there. A C student in a mediocre community college who finished dead last in OCS at Benning but got a markup with the “7.62 pencil” because of his race.

A man who wrote himself a decoration for “helping a soldier out of a crashed helicopter before it burst into flames”, although it was only an autorotation with no fire at all.

A soldier who never fired an angry shot, but who again wrote himself a purple heart for a pungi stick he supposedly stepped on during an inspection tour.

A man whose only political comment while in uniform was a defense of taking from the rich to help the poor, and who went on record with the statement Schwartzkopf was wrong, and we should never invade Iraq, simpy quarantine them for 2 or 3 years.

Considering that they were probably no more than 2 years away from an atomic bomb (Al Baradei’s estimate at the U.N.), it would have resulted in radioactive comtamination of much of the world’s oil production facilities as well as most of the U.S. military.

The Republican equivalent of Barack Obama, an empty headed totem, Peter-Principled well above his natural level of competence, which would be something like night manager of a McDonalds. I doubt he could handle the morning rush.

John Stephens said...

Every election I wonder, "Why would anyone smart enough and sane enough to make a competent President even want the job?". I guess people have finally run out of answers.

Wayne said...

John Thune

Jim said...

Alan: Maybe not so left-field.

Some of the smart political ops I listen to think there's a reasonable chance the GOP will nominate someone not even mentioned so far.

Joseph said...

Sometimes I wonder if the GOP is stuck in a time warp...they keep running the same guys every election. There has got to be a decent, electable conservative out there who isn't the typical "old rich white guy" mold.

Chance said...

Not all of us in CA voted for Arnold.

Ancient Woodsman said...

...and not all of us in NH were called for that poll.

Anonymous said...

Whatever...I'd take a super rich professional wrestling enthusiast over an Obama reelection any day of the week...

Comrade Misfit said...

Imagine Donald Trump versus Dennis Kuchinich.

The government would make a mint processing passport application...

Tam said...

Dennis Kucinich is less risible than Donald Trump.

Oh, sure, I don't even agree with him on the color of the sky, but I'll at least grant that he stands by his principles, kooky as they are.

Donald Trump? Jesse Ventura? Al Franken? Arnold Schwarzenegger? How long before we replace the electoral college with a reality show or a Texas cage match?

"Hurry! Dial 1-900-GOP-VOTE or 1-900-DEM-VOTE! Only 99 cents a call! Kids, ask your parents first!"

perlhaqr said...

In my cynical moments, I think we're going to wind up with Mitt Romney running as the Republican candidate.

Which would lend credence to a theory that the US really wants a Democrat in office, no matter what letter he has behind his name.

How long before we replace the electoral college with a reality show or a Texas cage match?

I have a Thunderdome available for rent. (I'm not joking, actually.)

ODIN said...

Does it matter? The numbers are in the country is broke. It will not matter who gets elected by the time any of them get the nomination they have already prostituted themselves to many different high paying pimps. Trust me no one will change the downward spiral we are on. The bright side is once the collapse finally comes we can rebuild and make it better with the hardiest part of the people who survive.

JimB said...

If they run that RINO Romney it will be the first time since 1968 that I'm staying home. Romney helped run Massachusts into the ground. Why give that plastic bullshitter a shot at the whole country.

Anonymous said...

"Please, somebody, give me the pill I take to get out of this madhouse."

Sorry Tam but this is one of the layers of hell. Don't you remember going to the light?

You guessed wrong and the Big Guy doesn't forget.

Good news He does allow cold beer and good food.

Next time cut the blue wire.

Gerry

global village idiot said...

A long time ago my ma once told me, "gvi, in America, anyone can be President!"

Sadly, she was right.

But seriously, y'all - It's 18 months until election 2012. These guys are the juggling poodles and dancing girls. The star attraction hasn't even made it to the expo center parking lot, let alone center ring.

gvi

WV: frongsqu (n). Region in Southwest China known for signature traditional dish of braised tadpole and silkworm in mushroom sauce.

Ed Rasimus said...

Not surprising at all. When you elect a president on a platform as nebulous as "hope and change" what do you expect. When you list the top ten most respected women in America and the list as Madonna, Paris Hilton and Joy Behar on it you get the picture. When people pay $75/seat to see a Charlie Sheen rant?

Try giving those poll respondents a list of names like Pawlenty, Daniels, Walker, Christie, Jindal, Ryan, etc. and ask them to identify their jobs.

Liberal control of public education from pre-K to grad school has dumbed the population down to the point where democracy is not a viable form of government anymore.

Ed Foster said...

Alan J., something I cribbed from a comment I made on "Say Uncle".

Powell? A slight disconnect with reality there. A C student in a mediocre community college who finished dead last in OCS at Benning but got a markup with the “7.62mm pencil” because of his race.

A man who wrote himself a decoration for “helping a soldier out of a crashed helicopter before it burst into flames”, although it was only an autorotation with no chance of fire at all.

A soldier who never fired an angry shot or commanded troops in action, but who again wrote himself a purple heart for a pungi stick he supposedly stepped on during an inspection tour.

A man whose only political comment while in uniform was a defense of taking from the rich to help the poor, and who went on record with the statement Schwartzkopf was wrong, and we should never invade Iraq, simpy quarentine them for 2 or 3 years.

Considering that they were probably no more than 2 years away from an atomic bomb (Al Baradei’s estimate at the U.N.), it would have resulted in radioactive contamination of much of the world’s oil production facilities as well as most of the U.S. military.

The Republican equivalent of Barack Obama, an empty headed totem Peter-Principled well above his level of competence, which would be something like night manager of a McDonalds. I doubt he could handle the morning rush.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Trust me,having eaten Reconstituted Cream of Wheat on a Submarine is no where near as Bad as electing......er, well, er, sigh! Better bring a jar of Honey, it goes down easier.

dr mac said...

You were almost responsible for a death by laughter.

Anonymous said...

Ed: Wow. Scanning the comments, I was about to say Powell is just a (slightly) darker version of the usual suspects we've been served up as the 'pubs purported top choices as of right now. But I think you handled his dissemblance
rather completely.

About what we've been served up though; does anyone doubt that these polls are subject to, let us say, subjectivity? MSM has always tried to tell their (that's right; their) opposition what they think and believe and stand for. Don'tcha know they're having some fun with this potus contender list?

Or could 'pubs be having some fun of their own? We get a few N'Hamsters in this part of Fla of a winter; I've found some pretty wry humor among them, and who wouldn't find pwning a poll so that freak with a dead badger on his head comes in second darkly but uproariously funny? So that's what I prefer to believe.

Otherwise, we might have to surmise that everybody but the wackjobs have abandoned the old GP for the new TP. You know, the folks that rocked Barry's world 11/2/10? Ed Rasimus mentioned a solid list, but left out Rubio who for many reasons both very substantial and totally superficial could be the total surprise package that every non-socialist voter might be looking for.

But whatever the reasons behind it, you gotta admit that the TOP GOP list in this poll and on NBC the other night, is too funny...but we better use the next year and a half wisely.

AT

Kevin said...

Comedian Lewis Black during the 2000 election:

"In my lifetime we've gone from JFK to Albert Gore. In my lifetime we've gone from Ike to G.W. Bush.

If this is evolution, in a few years we're going to be voting
for PLANTS!"

Donald Trump: The Phil O'Dendron Candidate.

og said...

You wish you were cynical enough.

Bottomline, we're going to get Newt, and I'm going to vote for B. Hussein Obama. Or a yaller dog. I'd vote for a yaller dog.

warlocketx said...

At the very least, Trump has presided over nontrivial projects.

I don't want him as the Republican candidate, but we could do worse. And probably will.

Regards,
Ric

Tam said...

Og,

You (and half the other commenters here) seem to be missing my point: I did not say that I think Trump will be the GOPcandidate, or even a quarterfinalist for the GOP nomination; I said that it goddam dismays me to think that anyone smart enough to answer the phone thinks he's worthy of even being considered for the job. Seriously, I'd vote for Paul Reubens first. He's more statesmanlike, public wanking and all...

Spud said...

Sides that, a man that rich should be able to afford a better rug.
Although he is experienced with bankruptcy, might come in handy for the nation....he did it and came out richer...soooo..?

og said...

"You (and half the other commenters here) seem to be missing my point:"

Don't disagree in any way. I was responding to John's comment about being cynical about Mitt Romney.

wolfwalker said...

Joseph: There has got to be a decent, electable conservative out there who isn't the typical "old rich white guy" mold.

There are lots of them, I'm sure. But most of them don't have a national reputation, and none of them are fool enough to risk subjecting themselves to the MSM reputation-grinder. They saw what happened to Sarah Palin, to Scott Brown, to Governor Walker, and especially to Joe the Plumber -- all so they can go to Washington, disinfect the oval office, get sliced'n'diced by Congress and the DC media for four-to-eight, and accomplish absolutely nothing. And they wonder "Why bother?"

gvi: It's 18 months until election 2012.

But it's less than 12 months to the first party primaries and caucuses. Probably less than six until the last reasonable starting date. 'Dark horse' candidates may still be possible, but how long has it been since anybody won either party's nomination without showing well in the early primaries?

Mark Alger said...

Maybe "derisive laughter" wasn't one of the available checkboxes on the survey form?

Ya never know...

M

Spud said...

Ya know tho, Mormon lore has it that the last U.S. President will be Mormon. Romney ?

Mossyrock said...

Donald Trump is a circus clown...and will bring NO dignity to the Republican party....

Joseph said...

I'm voting for the best president in the future of mankind, President Lindberg! http://is.gd/ZPUPqr

Joan of Argghh! said...

Good lordy if a pollster asked me today I'd say Trump because it's way too early and people need to chill. I've already said and will say whatever to throw the Left off the track.

And I will say this, after kicking it around on my own blog: Trump can be our Biden: accident insurance. And then keep Boehner as SOH. More insurance.

Tremaine said...

It was a hover craft, and they did have guns....lots of guns. Woa.

Alan J. said...

Ed, in my most deeply cynical moments; I sometimes wonder if you're not right, in that our public education from pre-K to grad school has dumbed the population down to the point where democracy is not a viable form of government anymore. As Glenn Reynolds says, "When something can't go on forever, it won't."

Which then makes me also wonder if Robert Heinlein didn't have it right in Starship Troopers when he wrote that the great Democracies of the 20th Century failed because they voted themselves into unsustainable largess followed by disaster.

I always pull myself out of that funk by remembering that whatever happens in Washington, at heart we're all still Americans. A free people, with liberty - the means to defend it, and a history of over 200 years of kicking the ass of anyone who tries to take it away.

Anonymous said...

As seen elsewhere: "How did Trump get to be so popular in certain political circles? Here’s my take: when all we have to choose from are fools, ceteris paribus, Americans tend to choose the most entertaining fool."

tom-the-impaler said...

Am I alone in remembering Trump Punted an old lady out of her house to make way for some expansion of some sort? You KNOW that'll come up during an election cycle right? And she'd be on every station telling of her life on the street eating cat food, and hello Obama's second term.

global village idiot said...

Joan of Arrrrrrgh may be on to something.

Could we all be wasting bandwidth seriously considering the ramifications of a wicked, prankish version of the Bradley Effect?

I'm thinking of the opening line of every Candid Camera episode. "I'm Alan Funt. We thought it would be fun if..."

gvi

Jim said...

This is what happens when sheeple conflate the wildly disparate concepts of an American Idol "vote", with the precious right of the Citizen to cast his or her Vote in participation in their own governance as a member of We the People.

They think the leadership of this nation is the equivalent of a game show based on mindless popularity, rather than a meritocracy guided by competence, experience and skillful accomplishment.

Given the present administration, it appears that they effected the former, and eschewed the latter.


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

staghounds said...

Assuming that there was no fifth choice, "none", or "don't know/no preference", Trump would have been my solid #2 choice.

At least as said above he's made a payroll, built things, and is no one's b!tch.

theirritablearchitect said...

"...I'd vote for Paul Reubens first. He's more statesmanlike, public wanking and all..."

Ah, come on. That's all that politicians do, wank in public.

It's a spectator sport of sorts, and the latest wanker to inhabit the Anal Office is rather good at it all, if the reaction by the proles is any indication.

Jeeze.

perlhaqr said...

Ed Foster: Lt. Col. Allen West. Normally, I'd say a freshman congressbeing would be a lousy candidate for President, but, apparently that doesn't actually matter...

Stretch said...

Better Half's theory:
Helmet and seat belt laws have allowed the stupid to live and breed a better idiot.
Thus we have Trump leading polls and Jersey Shore.

SpeakerTweaker said...

Please, somebody, give me the pill I take to get out of this madhouse.

Sister, when you get that pill, you'd better get a bottle, and you'd damn-well better share!



tweaker

Sebastian said...

"Hurry! Dial 1-900-GOP-VOTE or 1-900-DEM-VOTE! Only 99 cents a call! Kids, ask your parents first!"

You jest, but I am not convinced this method would result in measurably worse results than our current method. Hell, I'm not sure randomly picking names out of a phone book would either.

I've often pondered, in fact, whether if we treated serving in Congress like jury duty, we wouldn't have a better result than what we have now. Especially if you do some equivalent of voir dire to make sure the person has basic cognitive skills, and isn't the type that might be storing jars of urine in the basement. Actually, even if you didn't do that, the result might still be be better.

Ed Foster said...

Perlhaqr: I'll check him out. At the moment I'm not qualified to comment, but if you think he's worth a look, I'll look.

I'm actually being two-faced here. If I say "It's all going to fall down" I'm disregarded as a Chicken Little fan. So I pretent it's important who we elect.

Even a complete Tea-Party government couldn't get us out of this mess, as we're way too far behind the curve. The present entitlement state should have been dismantled back during the Eisenhower administration, and now it's too late, by decades and tens of millions of lives.

The idea that demography is destiny is so obvious it should be inked indelibly on the inside of every voter's eyelids but it's not.

We've created a class of slugs that now makes up roughly 40% of the population, most of which would sit down, light up a J, and starve to death rather than take their honest place in a lassez-faire society.

To maintain a reasonable Social Security net for everyone now over mid sixties we would need a minimum of six people working for everyone collecting. To maintain the rather extravagant promises of Bush II and his kid brother Barry, we would need eight. Last time I looked, said ratio was less than three to one and dropping fast.

I'm finally disgusted enough to admit publically that it can't be fixed. The Republicans won a great "victory" getting thirty something billion taken out of the budget after half a month of wrangling. During that same half month, the national debt increased fifty-four billion.

The only thing Congress can do (and stay in office) is to raise the debt ceiling, otherwise known as inflating/debaseing the currency, which punishes everyone who's been fool enough to put money in the bank or think they can get by on a fixed pension or annuity.

California, as usual, leads the country by example, but only by a few years. The first place they'll cut if law enforcement, the last place will be welfare payments. Welfare recipients vote, and the prime motivation of almost all politicians is to stay in power.

Those willing to work will be marginalized and ignored, except on April 15th.

How bad will it get? I really don't know, but I'm glad I have my discretely defensible seven acres several miles off the nearest road wide enough to have a stripe down the middle.

I doubt I'll have to fight off hordes of screamers, but a small hillside barn with a couple of head of Dexters and a few dozen chickens, all subtly ensconced behind some trees, far away from the prying eyes of the taxman, might just prove the difference between surviving comfortably and living on cheap starch off the back of a National Guard truck.

Alan J. said...

Staghounds, whenever I think of the idea of a President Trump, I'm reminded of a solid #2 as well. Pretty much like the last one I dropped off at the local big-wigs swimming pool.

perlhaqr said...

Ed: He's better than some, but I was mostly being cynical. His most important qualification this election cycle is that he's black.

If we're chatting up people we'd actually like to see win, I'm sticking with Gary Johnson, even if he's got all of a half point more chance than Ron Paul did last go 'round.

But ultimately, I agree with you and Billy Beck. We're flat fucked. We are--to quote the man himself--not voting our way out of this. As you and he have said, there's principles involved here, principles of how things actually work, and those principles are being violated. And while we can disbelieve in gravity all we want after we've fallen off the cliff, the sudden stop at the end is going to suck.

Tam said...

There's hard history coming, all right.

Matt G said...

Funny how identical our reactions were, Tam. I got very amazed, and then all at once very tired and sad.