I thought I overheard one of the talking heads on the TeeWee this morning say that Donald Trump had come in second in a New Hampshire phone poll, and I thought "That can't be right," but it turns out that oh yes it is.
Donald Trump? Donald &*$%ing Trump? Are you $#!*ing me? There are people who look at this character and think "Wow, now that's presidential timber!" Who do you want for his running mate? I'm thinking Paul Reubens could lend a bit of gravitas to the ticket, myself.
Okay, this is all a bad dream, right? This is from watching all those cheesy dystopian SciFi movies and I'm going to flip the channel and Richard frickin' Dawson is going to be telling Arnold Schwarzenegger that "It's time to start running!" Except, oh wait, those vapid jackholes on the left coast actually elected Ahnold to be their real-life governor. Twice.
Please, somebody, give me the pill I take to get out of this madhouse. I don't care if I wake up in a submarine and have to eat reconstituted Cream of Wheat with Keanu Reeves for a dining companion for the rest of my days; it's got to be better than this.