Attention New Hampshwegians, or whatever y'all's proper demonym is: Announcing Professor Tamara's Weather Control Service!
If ever you are suffering from a withering drouth or a blistering heat wave, just call 1-800-BRR-YUCK and arrange for Prof Tam (Doctorate Of Climate Control Voodoo from Draw Tippy Turtle U.) to fly to your fair state on trash day at Castle Frostbite, where it is a dead cert that she will be schlepping the trash can down the steep driveway to the muddy roadside in piss-pouring icy rain that needs only a couple guys in coal-scuttle helmets trying to push a tank out of the ditch to look like a scene from the Russian Front.
Guaranteed success rate! Never failed yet!*
*Well, we're two-for-two, at least.