Saturday, June 30, 2012

Would you say we're headed into a zone of danger?

Sitting in traffic in the Zed Drei yesterday evening, with Kenny Loggins' piece of classic '80s Velveeta blaring from the speakers, I noticed the car ahead of me, a Toyota Camry that had been hit everyplace but the ashtray and seemed composed of equal parts Bondo and primer, had a bumper sticker that was the absolute height of irony...

(click to aggrandize)

At the Marsh supermarket in Broad Ripple, I saw that the new S.W.A.T. was on the shelf. Also, Peter Kokalis was on the cover of Shotgun News in an article entitled "Last-Ditch Treasures" looking for all the world like he is about to fire a VolksGewehr built by disgruntled slave laborers who hadn't had a wink of sleep in weeks due to 'round-the-clock pastings from the Mighty Eighth and Bomber Command... without wearing any eye protection.

Wear your eye protection and Drink Your Ovaltine!
(this picture may also be enlarged in the standard fashion)


24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've always thought Peter K was kind of a douchnozzle, after reading a column or review by him many years ago in SOF which included the phrase describing a weapon as "regarded highly in the circle of armed professionals in which I travel"

Even my younger, much less worldly self saw the putdown in that, and I've always thought of that bit whenever I see his name mentioned. YMMV of course, but really, condescend much?

Graybeard said...

The dood in the bondomobile may have an incentive to push that bumper sticker. Getting hit on that surface is usually not your fault.

Joseph said...

Tam,

Might I take a moment in light of the circle and arrow on the SGNews to encourage you to follow your God-given talent at photo editing.

They say you know art when you see it and that, my dearest, is art.

Shrimp said...

I don't know, Graybeard, most of those look like Reverse Gear Oopsies. Otherwise known as "What the hell did I just hit? I didn't see anything back there when I got in."

Tam said...

Graybeard,

The bow and both broadsides matched the stern. This was one of the most comprehensively dented automobiles I have ever seen. I doubt it has ever been out of the driveway without knocking off one corner or another.

Al T. said...

Robert K. Brown bled for Peter Gee's asshattery. I lost a lot of respect for Peter Gee after reading his second or third (and last IIRC) self written magazine in the '90's. Gratuitous insults seem to be his MO.

Anonymous said...

OK, so the Camry owner "drives by ear."

Um, wait, whats up with that magazine at about 7:30 from Shotgun News?
Outdoor Passion?
Do people really claim to buy that just for the articles?

GBBL said...

Lana.

Lana.

Lana!

Bubblehead Les. said...

Hey, don't blame the Guy in the Toyota.

He just bought it from an IMPD Cop.

Britt said...

GBBL said...
Lana.

Lana.

Lana!

1:12 PM, June 30, 2012

WHAT?!?!?!?!

GBBL said...

Danger zone!

og said...

The battle cry around here is "Your car LOOKS like that because you DRIVE like that!"

HerrBGone said...

that sticker may very well be the lynch-pin that's holding the whole car together. * pictures the Bluesmobile's end on the sidewalk outside the tax assessors office *

Brad K. said...

This is just awful, all you folks decrying a glittery "Monster" energy drink sticker or three! I mean, just because the dents on the car, with a driver under the "energy" influence, match dings on poles, fences, stores, cars, and pedestrians from here to Chappaquiddick (sp?), that is no reason to make fun of a guy that bought a Camry because it was the only car on the lot that started the second time!

It is a shame, though, to see a Toyota used to damage so much of any neighborhood. I bet the "drive Safely" sticker came home from school with the kids. Funny, I don't notice any "my kid is an honor student" sticker. . . I wonder if that kind of thing runs in the family?

But wouldn't that make an excellent car to sell Avon products with! "Look, Mom! It's the dinged Dong lady!" Or would that be "marital aids"? Anyway, Monster is a perfectly ordinary energy drink, even if the impact is written, large, all over the car.

fast richard said...

Maybe the irony of the Drive Safely sticker is intentional. If it is unintentional, the owner might want to cut back on the energy drinks and get some actual sleep before venturing back out in public.

Frank W. James said...

Tam: The guy in the picture on the front of SGN is NOT Pete.

It's a buddy of his, who he always uses in his illustrations...

All The Best,
Frank W. James

Anonymous said...

Outdoor Passion cover blurbs:

Deer Camp; how to know when it's time to move the Biffy.

Feelings for your Hunting Partner's Wife? Remember, he's armed too.

Is it ok to take the last slice of bacon?

Equitable ways to decide whose turn it is to do the dishes.

Who should get the top bunk? A study.

Four Wheeler fun; making your girlfriend get off and hitch up the tow cable in that tree across the crick.

Why one thirty pack each isn't enough for a weekend.

Matt
St Paul

Drang said...

Apparently, SWAT Magazine is not sold from the rack in WA. I've looked. Not sure I need another magazine subscription...

Kristopher said...

It might be Gecko45's new ride.

Anonymous said...

GBBL is a man of impeccable taste.

Paul, Dammit! said...

The Braille method of parking.

PhilaBOR said...

I LOVE that mag rack. I've got to visit the Marsh if I ever make it to Broad Ripple.

Tam said...

Frank,

"Tam: The guy in the picture on the front of SGN is NOT Pete.

It's a buddy of his, who he always uses in his illustrations...
"

Ah. I did not know that. :o

Pakkinpoppa said...

My local Meijer doesn't carry SWAT but they do the SGN. And I haven't bought that one for the articles in quite a while.

Meijer has fish for sale, though since I've only seen....3...get sold, I think it's to get parents to shop there rather than the Kroger and Giant Eagle on the other corners of that intersection. It works for me...though the fact they have a decently stocked and reasonably priced ammunition aisle doesn't hurt either.