Thursday, June 28, 2012

Oddly, I am not overcome with sympathy.

I don't normally go full Godwin this early in the morning, but my first thought when I saw this quote...
I got to wondering, as embarrassing as it is for passengers, how must a TSA agent feel to have to grope the smelly crotch of some dude who hasn’t bathed in over a week.
...was "I know, right? I mean, as bad as it was for the Jews in eastern Europe, what about the poor Einsatzgruppen? They probably had blisters on their trigger fingers by the end of the day!"

Seriously, you're failing to engage my sympathy by telling me what a humiliating drudgery it is to violate the hell out of my rights.


Living in Babylon said...

Times sure are tough.

I mean, just the other day I was raping this puppy and it clawed me with it's back feet, right on my inner thigh. Now I have an infection and the puppy keeps claiming that he's the victim.

Weer'd Beard said...

Those bastards almost make it worth it for me to grow a good crop of crabs before I board my flight...almost.

Phssthpok said...

Crabs are more trouble to get rid of than a decent case of three-day-crotch-rot.

Harder to, um, 'detect' too. Not quite as 'in your face' obvious (especially if yer wearing a kilt! ;) )

Robb Allen said...

Just... go here.

Because I simply cannot top the comments there, and it's as apropos as it gets.

mikee said...

Where is there a Michael Hawkins to start an epic comment thread when you need one?

Robb Allen, you beat me to it.

And I refer readers of that thread to comment 90 therein, where Mr. Hawkins takes, if not exactly a bow, at least a well deserved wave at the crowd.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

That comment thread is full of win.

Tam said...

I believe I referred to it as "The best comment thread the internet has ever seen." :D

perlhaqr said...

Hunh. I read that same line the other day, and my reaction was just to laugh. I figured he was just being funny.

Tam said...


"I figured he was just being funny."

God, I hope so.

(Although I have actually felt sorry for a TSA agent before, too. There was a guy at IND who was trying to be all cheerful and joke-y while I was loitering in the security zone to see if they wanted to check my guns or not.

He noticed me sitting there, and piped up with "Hey, guys, I promised this young lady she could fly on an airplane today! Let's not make her late!" in that tone of voice that goofy uncles use when trying to cheer you up by chucking you on the shoulder.

"You poor bastard," I thought to myself, "Trying to be human in a job that is fundamentally inhuman, and you just don't seem bright enough to wrap your head around it. I bet you really think you're making the world a safer place, too.")

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Guy I know who works at a fairly high level at IND (but not in TSA) told me not long ago that IND does not tolerate assholish behavior from TSA. And I've noted the times I've flown that while IND TSA are not always the friendliest people on earth (especially at 0-dark-30 when they haven't quite woken up), they don't generally tend to mess with you.

YMMV of course; I only fly a couple of times a year and try to avoid it even then. But my wife, who flies quite a bit, has never been bothered, at IND or anywhere else. (She flies out of RSW a lot, and RSW seems to get a lot of TSA complaints. All those blue-haired grannies I guess.)

B said...

New TSA slogan:

"Keep your eye on the balls"

Brad K. said...

A mosquito bite irritates me, then irritates me again. I mean, the bite itches. And it itches, too, because I know that only female mosquitoes bite, and that they require the blood of mammals, including people, to fertilize their eggs. So not only am I getting bit, I am contributing to the robust population of the next generation of mosquitoes.

So, tax money pays the salaries of TSA, right? *slap*

JimB said...

January Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:

Terrorists Discovered



Hemorrhoid Cases

Enlarged Prostates

Breast Implants

Natural Blondes

It was also discovered that 535 congressional representatives had no balls
Stolen From Rodger TRKOF

Chris said...

What would the TSA agent groping this odd fellow think?

They grab for his crotch to supposedly check for unauthorized extra stuff and come up with nothing instead?

Bearman said...

He was!

Thanks for sharing my toon here. Maybe this TSA toon I did would be more to the liking of this audience haha

Kristophr said...

The TSA can lave my nethers with their tongues ... and neglect no the taint.

Keads said...

I normally invoke student/teacher privacy in the Concealed Carry classes. I will broach it here.

I fear that these people, so drunk on so little power they have in the polyester uniform bolstered with limited views on what is really going on boggles the mind.

And they relish it. She actually asked to take a picture of my Surefire E2D flashlight. "OMG, that could be a weapon, I must show it to my superiors". Well of course it could, why do you think I am showing it to you?

Sadly, after an eight hour class, I could not refrain from being uh, less than professional. Know what? The verbal softballs I threw all day did not stop her one bit.

This is the problem. I tried to fix it. She is made of Teflon. Smart simply does not stick.

As long as we have these people making slightly more than minimum wage, we have a problem.

Anonymous said...

As long as we have these people , we have a problem.
Fixed it for you