Thursday, January 30, 2014

My breakfast means I love Hitler.

There are probably 1488 delicious, fatty, Applewood-smoked strips of racism there.
This is the problem with the gun-nut wing of the blogosphere being overrun by conservative Bushbots: Y'all get everybody talking about how much they love bacon while snickering behind your hands like you're getting everyone to chant "I'm Sofa King! We taught it!" because you realize that saying "I love bacon!" is just a secret racist dog whistle for "I hate Jews!" and we all fell for it.

Well, I'm not falling for your Hitler food trickery anymore!

(Incidentally, you know how dumb this sounds? This exactly how dumb it sounds to say that Democrats want to put you in concentration camps. "But, Tam!" you say, "I can trot out some progressive blogger who really does want to put bitter clingers in reeducation camps!" And I can go find a nutbag who likes guns and thinks The Joooz are running the world without even needing to power up my Google-fu, so let's not get into the whole I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I? thing.)

44 comments:

Bram said...

I love bacon and don't think the average Democrat wants to put me in a concentration camp.

I don't think the average Democrat has spent a second thinking about where "progress" ultimately leads. To them, France, Argentina, Venezuela, and North Korea are just anomalies, not milestones on the road they want to travel.

Tam said...

*taps side of nose* ;)

Angus McThag said...

I blame Smith Enterprise's "new" skull logo for starting the idea that gun owners were National Socialists who only eat bacon to show their hate.

Tam said...

Oh, Jesus wept, they're using an actual totenkopf.

That can't be cluelessness, it's got to be malice. Then again, sufficiently advanced cluelessness is indistinguishable from malice...

Jess said...

I'm thinking you bought two pounds and froze three.

stay safe. said...

And yet I'm positive that THEY have been contemplating how, when and where to put me in a concentration camp - but assuredly not because I like bacon.

Let's just hope that THEY have not learned from the last time actual concentration camps were used (not gulags, re-education centers, or killing fields). Being both a gun-nut and a history-nut can be useful. ;)

stay safe.

Tam said...

http://youtu.be/hn1VxaMEjRU

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Bram,

I don't think the average Democrat thinks.

As a bacon-and-gun-loving Jew myself, I've never been able to figure out why so many American Jews are Democrats. That political philosophy in Germany led directly to the Holocaust. You'd think as a result that Jews would be more accepting of classical liberalism and the concept of armed self-defense. The "It couldn't happen here" excuse is wearing a bit thin in these latter days of Barack I of the Imperial Pen and Imperial Decree.

Critter said...

LEAVE APPLEWOOD SMOKED BACON ALONE!!!!11! Waaaahhhhh!

og said...

Silly rabbits. If conservatives are in camps, who will pay taxes?

Codisimo said...

The most startling thing to me is that you live in the heart of bacon production infrastructure and they are charging $9.99/LB. That makes my heart hurt. You can get decent bacon at the normal store for $4.99/LB and most of the gourmet stuff tops out at $7.99/LB. I hope that pricing doesn't sweep the country.

Tam said...

Codisimo,

No, bacon is $4.99/lb. Pepper bacon is $7.99/lb. Nueske's Applewood Smoked Bacon from Wisconsin is $9.99/lb.

Miguel said...

I saw this just now on Ms Bonnet's feed:

"Peter Kaufman ‏@inklake Jan 25
@NicoleBonnet1 TX law is apotheosis of #GOP view of women: They aren't people - they're incubators - ideally that can cook and/or shoot."


I double nuclear dare that idiota to go to any God Fearing armed pregnant woman and call her incubator...If he is lucky, he'll get a face-full of hot bacon grease attached to cast iron skillet.
PS: Atheist women also included

Tam said...

Bonus points if you can find commentary from Ms. Bonnet slamming RWNJ's for dehumanizing their opponents by using stereotypes, straw men, and caricatures.

tailwind said...

I'm sure a few mooslums are feeling left out of this conversation. And what about the actual apple wood? I like apples as much as bacon and I would hate to see apples sacrificed on account of the current smoked bacon fad.

RevolverRob said...

I thought the whole point of owning guns and exercising your 2A rights was to avoid being sent to those pesky reeducation camps?

But let's get serious now...I know the only reeducation camps out there are being run by conservatives. It's obvious that things like Project Appleseed are brainwash camps. I mean...they actually teach people that guns are okay!!!

On a more serious note, do you ever contemplate how far down on ~Insert Favorite Dictator Here~'s list for shipment to the internment camp you would be? I think about it from time to time, since I am classically liberal, wookie-suiter, academic, with rebellious personality. Heck, if they do start rounding folks up, I'll be one of the first to go.

-Rob

Jennifer said...

Wow! That's a real special crazy train she's riding.

JohninMd.(HELP?!??) said...

I'll eat my bacon, but I'm not getting in any cattle-cars rolling east. I simply may have to decide it's a good day to die.....just sayin'....

og said...

if I can, I will try to get some black forest bacon to bring to the NRA convention.

leaddog said...

MMMM Fresh side on the sammich this morning. Making more this weekend, along with sausage, roasts, chops, etc.

Loves me some bacon in the morning!

Wyfaggro said...

If liking bacon makes me a Nazi then Sig Heil I guess...

Anonymous said...

Drat! Ms. Bonnet and her NSA friends have broken the code and foiled our plans for world domination.

Please inform all your cell members the new code word is Huevos Rancheros!

That is all.
Gerry

Mike_C said...

On a more serious note, do you ever contemplate how far down on ~Insert Favorite Dictator Here~'s list for shipment to the internment camp you would be?
Not seriously, but I suspect having downloaded Matt Bracken's "Enemies" novels when he was giving them away on Amazon (and actually buying Castigo Cay) moved me up a few thousand notches. Don't reejumacate me, bro! "Jamal Tambor" para siempre!

Mike_C said...

Incidentally, I'm stunned that no one has said this, so here goes: If you like your bacon you can keep your bacon.

Windy Wilson said...

Re Smith Enterprises and the Totenkopf. I think they caught enough guff to catch a clue:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDAQFjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FSmithEnterpriseInc%2Fposts%2F465660773525961&ei=hHnqUsm4PMSxoQTrxIG4Ag&usg=AFQjCNEI9CmlTlZnS17n0jDpJjmWfWBEWg&sig2=alnyaJuuuztuP4ms7OrywQ

Now the emblem is a stylized blue eagle in a circle with three blue stars as was popular in America in the 30's and 40's.

Read the face book conversation, they copied the skull and then insisted that it was just a skull and they did not support the SS or Nazi principles.

I can only imagine if I were trying to reintroduce the emblems and symbols of the BSA Order of the Arrow used before 1940 and said, with a straight face that I was using the southwest indian hooked cross, not the Nazi swastika. . .
(eyeroll).

Anonymous said...

@ Miguel

Also note the sneering "ideally that can cook and/or shoot". One would think that having and wanting others to have basic life skills would be exhibit A of viewing the other as a person rather than a thing. I don't try to teach my dog or my car how to shoot or cook.

.45ACP+P said...

Much Apple wood used for smoking meat is trimmings from pruning in the orchards. Few trees are sacrificed in the process. Rest easy.

Uno Mas (SASS #80082) said...

And if I also love bagels and lox?

Am I a self-loathing Scot-Prussian-American cismale gendernormative fascist?

nk said...

Oh, you like Applewood? I'm partial to Oscar-Mayer thick-cut. I can crisp it my microwave.

lelnet said...

If you express your love for Hitler by eating bacon, you're doin' it wrong. Hitler (the actual, historical Hitler, mind...not so much, the imaginary rhetorical Hitler that leftists love to conjure with) was, after all, a strict vegetarian. :)

BryanP said...

What about turkey bacon? Am I still allowed to like turkey bacon?

The Scribbler said...

I'm now trying to come up with the single (typical) meal that indicates rampant hatred for as many people as possible. I'm starting off with a bacon cheeseburger (Muslim Hindu and Jew all in one) with a side of fish sticks (Many African clans and tribes) and onion rings (Certain Jains, Buddhists and Hindus) with an Irish coffee (Mormons, Ba'hai, Muslims again, Rastafarians. The libs would probably say I was being discriminatory against the Irish too). There are lots more things that are cultural taboos, but none that are commonly eaten here. There are other things as well that are not kosher or halal, but i think we covered offending those already.

I think I'm gonna need a bacon cheeseburger.

rickn8or said...

Didn't get the memo about my liking bacon requiring me to adopt philosophical and political beliefs.

I must have fallen off the distribution list or something...

Jennifer said...

No, turkey bacon is an abomination and an offense to all red-blooded Americans.

Kristophr said...

This reminds me of that song in Cabaret:

"Breakfast belongs ... breakfast belongs ... Breakfast beeelongs tooo me!"

( Goosesteps onto the kitchen, and stuffs face with warm bacon-toast sandwiches )

ProudHillbilly said...

Do a search on "guillotines" with "military bases". It's hysterical. In a "OMG they really believe this stuff!" sort of way.

Matt said...

I eat bacon to offend the muslims, don't care what the shade of Hitler eats.

A women that can shoot, cook, and bear children is mighty hot and I found one 30 years ago. Lets me eat bacon too.

I live and work in one of the areas always talked about for having a ready to go concentration camp. Have not found it yet.

Mike_C said...

> A women that can shoot, cook, and bear children is mighty hot

I'm kinda scared of women who shoot and cook children. Sorry, couldn't resist: spent all afternoon editing manuscripts and am in the groove of pedantic asshattishness.

@The Scribbler: Not sure what you'd have to eat to offend a Chinese person. The saying goes: If it has four legs and a Chinese person won't eat it, it must be a table. If it has wings and a Chinese won't eat it, it must be an airplane. This makes me a crappy Chinese person because I am revolted by traditional banquet (i.e. expensive) foods such as sea cucumber and bird's nest soup. An echinoderm that pukes up its guts to distract predators (similar to a lizard detaching its tail) and vomited-up fish from a cliff-dwelling swallow, respectively, are pretty disgusting. Bacon cheeseburger sounds pretty good though. Preferably with a nice stout or porter.

Anonymous said...

Hitler didn't eat bacon, he was a vegetarian and an artist, albeit a failed one. Mention that to the next holier-than-thou hippie you meet and watch their head explode. Also Times 'Man of The Year' in 1938 proving that the lame stream media has long been delusional.

Personally I'm glad that 1.3 billion Muslims, 20 million Israelites and the vegan idiopolis don't eat bacon. Can you imagine what the price would be if demand were to increase by that much?

Al_in_Ottawa

jetfxr69 said...

BryanP...No.

Michael said...

These people do know that Hitler was a vegetarian, right?

Joseph said...

Speaking as a Jewish RWNJ, I think I'll have sea bacon for lunch. Since bacon is a smoked and salted fatty meat, sea bacon should be a smoked and salted fatty fish. I've found that fried lox tastes pretty good (much better than most kosher bacon substitutes, which taste like smoked and salted fatty cardboard).

Anonymous said...

Windy Wilson said:

"I can only imagine if I were trying to reintroduce the emblems and symbols of the BSA Order of the Arrow used before 1940 and said, with a straight face that I was using the southwest indian hooked cross, not the Nazi swastika. . ."


Windy:

I have a very nice period black and white photo of an entire flight of Boeing F4B-4s (early 1930s biplane fighter) sporting the (American) Indian "wheel of eternity" on the side of the fuselage, and it's actually bigger than the national insignia.

And if you look carefully at the medallion on the headdress of the Indian head used as the insignia for the famous 94th Pursuit squadron (before Eddie Rickenbacker changed it to the "Hat in the Ring" squadron), you'll see it there also.

BSR

Lewis said...

Speaking of the Totenkopf, did anyone rock it quite like August von Mackenson?

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=20970129

(Totally cribbed from Dan Carlin.)