View From The Porch: Epoch-spanning global conspiracy exposed!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Do you read The Gormogons? You should.

TJP said...: Thanks for the link. This week is ending better than it started.

On the topic: for those of you who just can't wait for the Congress to resolve the five competing "health care" bills, I'm offering my own solution which is functionally identical to the proposed ones. Unlike my competitor, I'm not prohibited by law from offering this service.

All you have to do is send me a few hundred bucks a month. When you visit the doctor, I promise to pay 50% of the costs, unless it looks complicated and expensive, in which case I'll blame evil insurance companies and direct you to the nearest state-funded emergency room. I promise never to send you a statement showing a grand total of the thousands you've wasted on my service, but I'll make sure I send you a statement showing you what I "covered" when the balance accumulates to a nice big, round number.

I also promise to use horrible accounting methods, and engage in high-risk behavior with your money (unrelated to the service) that will directly result in corruption and fraud. That is, unless you want the premium package, in which case I'll spend your contribution on unnecessary "business" vacations, cosmetic surgery, hookers, and publishing autobiographies that contain the word "negro" and other outdated, offensive terms.; 3:37 PM, January 15, 2010

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