Friday, July 22, 2011

The heat...

Did anybody here ever watch the sketch comedy show Saturday Night Special that aired briefly on FOX in '96?

There was a skit that had a black guy pushing his son in a shopping cart through the grocery store and expounding on racism. It went something like this (and bear in mind that it's been, like, fifteen years...):
See this? This is Cap'n Crunch. It's white. Now, here's some Cocoa Puffs. What's the bird on the Cocoa Puffs box say? He coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs! Got that? He coo-coo! He crazy! It's racist!

Now, here we have some white rice... See how calm it is? And here's the brown rice. What do they call the brown rice? Wiiiiilllld rice! It's brown, so it's wiiiiillld! That's racist.

Oh, here's the wine. This is white wine. You know what you're supposed to do with white wine? Keep it in the refrigerator; keep it cool. This is red wine, the darker wine. You're supposed to keep it at 'room temperature'. And what room is that? The kitchen. And what's it like in the kitchen? It's hot. Damn' hot. Hot like the ghet-to! That's racist!

And now we come to the olives. Here's the green olives, the light olives, and they get kept in a glass jar, where they have a good view. Oh, but here's the black olives! And where are they kept? Locked up in the can! That's racist!

See? You're black! You're coo-coo, you're too wild, and your black ass needs to stay sweatin' in the ghetto 'til they lock you up in the can! That's racist!
For whatever reason, this skit has stuck with me enough that when I step outside on a day like today, I involuntarily think "It's hot. Damn' hot. Hot like the ghet-to!"


Home on the Range said...

I was watching people limp and sweating laying around the pool and all I could think of was "Bring out your dead!"

Anonymous said...

It's funny. A friend of mine does that same thing from the exact same skit.


Rabbit said...

I get the mind-string 'hot; hot and wet, like a jungle, which is ok if you're with a woman', in Robin Williams' voice.

On the other hand, I grew up in a swamp, so go figure.

NotClauswitz said...

But what about the Jalapeno peppers? They in a can - it's racist! And the cerveza, it's chillin - like in the... chiller - that's racist!

The Big Guy said...

I always preferred the quote from Biloxi Blues where Eugene Jerome (Matthew Brodrick) describes the heat:
"Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot."


Anonymous said...

I prefer:"Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot." Matthew Broderick in Biloxi Blues...

Tam said...

"Matthew Broderick in Biloxi Blues..."

As a member of Generation X, it pains me to admit that I've never seen it. :o

Opinionated Grump (Rich in NC) said...

You're that young?
Who wudda thunk it?

Old NFO said...

Yep... it's HOT everywhere!!!

Anonymous said...

Link please! Gotta see it.

MSJ said...

Well, thank you, Roosevelt.
What's the weather like out there?

"It's hot. Damn hot!
Real hot!

Hottest things is my shorts.
I could cook things in it.
A little crotch pot cooking."

Well, can you tell me what it feels
like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again!

Were you born on the sun?
It's damn hot!

I saw-- It's so damn hot,
I saw little guys, their orange
robes burst into flames.

It's that hot!
Do you know what I'm talking about."

What do you think it's going to be like
tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet!

That's nice if you're with a lady,
but it ain't no good
if you're in the jungle."

DaveFla said...

According to IMDB & memory, that skit just has to be the work of this guy:

wv: upere. What about my father?!?

Tam said...

"Link please! Gotta see it."

I wish!

Worse, it doesn't appear to have ever been released on DVD. :(

I used to have it on VHS, but that tape is probably two or three moves gone.

FatWhiteMan said...

The Biloxi Blues quote got thrown around the compound a lot this week.